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Sweet Pea: I love murder mysteries.

Fangs: *trying to impress him* I've been murdered.

#riverdale #sweet pea #fangs fogarty #swangs #incorrect riverdale quotes

•18+ Adults Only

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Sweet Pea: Don't worry. I'm fine.

Fangs: You got stabbed Sweets! You're not "fine"!

Sweet Pea: I've been stabbed before.

Fangs: It's not like you just build up an immunity to stab wounds!

#riverdale #sweet pea #fangs fogarty #swangs

"You tried your best, and you failed miserable. The lesson is; never try."

-F.P, whenever the young serpents do something they shouldn't

#riverdale #fp jones #I am finally making a comeback

Fangs wanted to get a dog, cause he loves dogs. I, however, am allergic to dogs. So we compromised, by getting a dog.

Sweet Pea, when Toni asked where he got a puppy.

#riverdale #swangs #fangs fogarty #sweet pea #incorrect quotes #incorrect riverdale quotes

Fangs: I just want someone to take me out.

Sweet Pea: Like a date, or a sniper?

Fangs: Surprise me.

#riverdale #swangs #sweet pea #fangs fogarty #southside serpents

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FP: What do you think you're doing?

Sweet Pea: Well I was gonna put this bottle rocket into this carton of eggs, so that when I light the bottle rocket, the eggs would explode everywhere.

FP: Well that's interesting. What brought you to this experiment?

Sweet Pea: Well thank you for asking. You know how I'm filled with rage? I'm so angry all the time and I have no outlet for it. So, Eggs.

#riverdale #sweet pea #fp jones #swangs #swughead #sweetvee

Reggie: Josie's gone. I'm gonna cut the sleeves off of my shirts.

Archie: Why?

Reggie: She's 95% of my impulse control.

#riverdale #reggie mantle #josie mccoy #mcmantle

Judge: Fangs Fogarty, you have been sentenced to death. You will be hung.

Sweet Pea [From the back of the room]: HE'S ALREADY HUNG.

Fangs: Sir, please uncuff me so I can high five my boyfriend.

#riverdale #sweet pea #fangs fogarty #swangs #incorrect quotes

Toni: Is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing?

Fangs: No. It's called highjacking.

Sweet Pea: Guys, no. It's called weedwhacking.

Cheryl: No. It's called disappointing your mother.

#riverdale #toni topaz #fangs fogarty #sweet pea #cheryl blossom #choni #swangs

Sweet Pea: Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.

Fangs: Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

Jughead: Philosophy is wondering if Ketchup is a smoothie.

Toni: Common Sense is knowing Ketchup isn't a damn smoothie, you nasty.

#riverdale #sweet pea #fangs fogarty #jughead jones #toni topaz #southside serpents

•18+ Adults Only

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Sweet Pea: [talking about Fangs] I just wanna slap his hideously beautiful face.

#riverdale #sweet pea #fangs fogarty #swangs #Bob's Burgers

Fangs: What if this goes wrong?

Sweet Pea: That's planning for failure, Fogarty. Even worse than regular planning.

#riverdale #sweet pea #fangs fogarty #swangs #rick and morty quote

Something that Happened while the parents were in Highschool

[A party while Hiram's parents are out of town]

Fred: [holding an old antique looking bottle] Is this whiskey or perfume?

FP: [drinks all of it] It's perfume.

#riverdale #parentdale #fred andrews #fp jones #fredsythe #john mulaney

FP: [Looks at Sweet Pea, Fangs, Toni, Jughead and Joaquin] You're my children, and I love you, but you're all terrible.

#riverdale #fp jones #sweet pea #fangs fogarty #toni topaz #jughead jones #joaquin desantos #southside serpents #bob's burgers

Sweet Pea: You okay?

Toni: I am very small, and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress I'm under.

#riverdale #sweet pea #toni topaz #choni #southside serpents

•18+ Adults Only

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Teacher: Are there any questions?

Jughead: [raises hand] I think Emily Dickens is a lesbian.

Teacher: Partial Credit.

#riverdale #jughead jones #jarchie #bughead #jeronica #swughead #john mulaney

Kevin: Take him away, boys.

Sheriff Keller: Hey, I'm the chief here. Bake him away, toys.

#riverdale #inccorect quotes #Kevin Keller #tom keller #the simpsons

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