Shit Metatron Says

who up cunting and twinking?

Five foot three bitches will not save you today.

just foraged this hot dog #apexpredator

Call the pussy Amigara Fault the way that hole is made for me

he's inventing new wizard sex positions just for them

facing that directly makes him feel like a beetle baking in a hot car in the summer

i don't need drugs to get high! i get high on hyperfocused data entry

any neogender umbrella can be a music-related umbrella if you just believe

Lev, holding up the cunt fan: What does this say, Maxwell? Malkav: c….. c…… FAGGOT. Lev: That’s right, Maxwell! You’re a faggot!

i was unspeakably horny for his creepiness [in another show] so this bodes poorly for my dick

you need to take your dick out on walks so it's less scared

dick game so weak even your blood is [incorrect buzzer]

ouuga penits

In Changeling, you're huffing glue to forget about the crushing reality of a 9-5 job.

god is a woman and she pisses like a firehose

You’ll know it’s spring when there’s a car fire. Who needs a groundhog?