I'll Make This Feel Like Home

You can discover your favourite band when you’re in your late twenties. You can meet your best friend when you’re in your thirties. You can finally accomplish a life goal when you’re in your fifties. Your youth isn’t the only time frame where amazing, life-changing things can happen.

i did not once ever have a full night’s sleep from 2013-2015. nothing new to say that hasn’t already been said but it was so fucking fun being a one direction fan while they were still releasing albums/touring. can’t even put it into words or describe it. u were constantly terrorized while also having the best time of ur life.

There's going to come a day when we've all grown up, had a career, maybe got married and had kids, when were all going about our daily routine. Maybe you're driving to work with the car radio on, or you're making dinner with the tv on in the lounge. Life as usual, and then we hear a name. It's the name of the person you had a blog dedicated to when you were 16. The person you had posters of up on your bedroom wall, or as your desktop background. The person off that show you used to watch every week, as soon as it came out, or that band you used to love. The person from the cast of a movie that changed your life, or the character who you scrolled through page after page of fanfiction of. You haven't heard that name in a long time, and it brings everything back. And then the name is followed by three words you thought you'd never hear. Has Passed Away. And then you put down the potato peeler and lean back against your kitchen bench, or you pull over to the side of the road, and tears are streaming down your face. And all over the world, there are people who used to be just like you, with tears marking their cheeks and sobs forcing their way out of their throat, because they remember. Because fandoms never really die out. We never really move on. We never really forget.

guess I’m just gonna sit here and miss one direction for the rest of my life

It's really really hard to go about your life after this . What makes it harder is how my life is physically not at all affected by him being gone. It's so difficult to digest that. He wasn't part of my life physically. None of my friends feel things like I do because he wasn't part of their lives at all. That's the reason i keep coming back. To the people who lost him like I did. Tumblr has always been a safe place. But now in times like this, it's a whole another level of a comfort. A hug, that's what it's like being here. Like we're all in a virtual room, all saddened and all missing him. I'm thankful for this place.

actually I want to write an essay about how all the one direction members have been essentially forced by public expectation to verbalize their grief on social media only a day after liam’s death & then some of them (namely harry! lol) being scrutinized for their posts seeming ’calculated’ / ’written by PR’ / not ’genuine enough’. like. so what if they are? Imagine your childhood best friend dies and millions of people are waiting for you to say something that helps them deal with their parasocial grief. and then that very fame & loss of privacy being the thing that you all went through together as essentially children & the repercussions of that likely being a contributing factor to your friend’s death. the cycle. anyway. none of them owe us shit

someone take the pain of this fandom, the boys, every single person on earth, multiply it by a million and give it to simon cowell. he'd still be getting less than he deserves.