I'm just a shipper girl

My daughter has decided that our cat has to pick her cereal for her in the morning now. Why?? "He knows what I like"

I do need you all to envision a very tall bearded man (my husband) dressed in a full suit, ready to go be a lawyer in a literal court of law, holding two boxes of nearly identical (to a cat) cereal in front of an 11 pound orange menace, begging him to head butt one so we can move forward with our morning.

Klaus: *carries groceries in both arms* Caroline: *reaches out to help* Klaus: *switches all groceries to one arm so he can hold her hand* Caroline: That's not what I- okay

My casino has new top-of-the-line technology to stop heists: a montage detector. If those bastards want to break in and steal my money, they’re doing it as part of one, long take

so few people understand the art of the pseudo nap

naps aren’t always about sleeping sometimes they’re about setting a timer for 30 minutes and lying down closing your eyes while listening to music and/or thinking about a tv show or a cool thing that happened recently with a little bit of checking your phone interspersed

fucking insane to me that people can be mean to kids. this thing is four to five shoe boxes tall and youre shouting at it ?? ? what is your damage the mf just got here.