Last month was the lowest I have ever felt in my life, and it was quite honestly one of the scariest experiences I have ever gone through. It was probably one of the scarier things I have ever put my friends and family through as well, and to those I burdened, I apologise.
Nevertheless, now that I am on the other side of that particular trough, I am feeling a lot more in control of my emotions. I have also developed a few small strategies and changes to my daily routine that I found have helped me greatly in keeping my anxiety in check.
Iām sharing this today mainly because itād be nice for me to have something written in black and white to read if and when I should need it. Who knows, maybe thereās something on this list that could help any fellow anxious people, too.
Or maybe youāll hate them or think theyāre stupid, in which case, for the love of God, donāt tell me! Otherwise Iāll obsessively worry about having let you down. I kid (kind ofā¦ Not really.), but just bear in mind that these are the list of things that helps me. And if they work for just one other person out there, then this wouldāve been worth it enough for me to share.
At the risk of looking a bit Buzzfeedy, here we go:
I used to joke about this all. The. Time. My previous therapist told me last year to try Mindfulness and I practically laughed in her face. She made me listen to some 10-minute tape of a hypnosis man telling me to breathe inā¦. breathe outā¦. And I fell asleep right there in her office. It was ridiculously embarrassing when she had to wake me up and tell me that I was about to fall off my chair. I havenāt listened to any mindfulness tapes since then, but I do try to just have a couple minutes to myself where I sit/lie there and focus on the now. It really has helped me calm down, and detach from whatever it is that is causing me acute anxiety. It is not a cure, no, but I have found that I am much more calm afterwards. I usually incorporate this at the end of my yoga routine, which brings me onto number 2.
Again, this was something I used to laugh at, too. I didnāt care for the poses or the stretches or the names of the yoga poses. I didnāt feel like it was a good work out, therefore I opted for doing something more high intensity in the gym instead. However, the pace of yoga really does help me mellow out, plus it IS a good workout! My goodness, after my first yoga class I was so damn sore I could barely lift my arms the next dayā¦ Those damn downward dogs and planks really do tire out my weak-ass shoulders! And a month later, I already am feeling a little bit more limber, too, which is always fun. I go to classes provided by the uni and I also do yoga at home, following Lesley Fightmasterās YouTube classes. She is such a babe.
Exercise releases endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people donāt shoot their husbands. They just donāt.
No brownie points for guessing correctly where that quotation is from ;) While exercising doesnāt guarantee that a person isnāt a murderer, it definitely does release any pent up frustration that may be contributing to my anxiety. So I try to get my sweat on at least twice a week (doesnāt sound like a lot, but it is for me, okay!?) Iāve never boxed a day in my life but there is a coupleĀ of those punching bag things at my gym and OH. MY. DAYS. It is so fun to punch the shit out of something with no consequences and I guarantee you, you will such aĀ rushĀ of euphoria afterwards.
I cook or bake a lot when I feel anxious. I am blessedĀ enough to be able to go to the shops whenever I want to restock on any ingredients I need, and I am always in the kitchen whipping up something yum. I even have a whole Instagram page to back me up on this! My food is not even always good to be honest, but the process of cooking keeps my head clear and my hands busy, and allows me to focus my energy on something other than fretting over nothing. While I understand that cooking isnāt for everyone, I would highly recommend a hobby of some sort, be it crocheting or knitting or calligraphy. Anything granny-ish like that tends to do the trick.
After two weeks of going cold turkey on caffeine and a myriad of headaches and migraines from the withdrawal later, I am definitely feeling the benefits now. I donāt get all jittery when I donāt have my coffee every hour on the hour, and I donāt have those unexpected episodes of palpitations or tremors anymore. I still drink some caffeine, but Iāve limited myself to one cup of coffee a day and a bunch of other decaffeinated teas. Mind you, going down from 6-8 cups a day to this!? I never thought it was possible.
This is different to when I talkedĀ about exercising earlier. By this, I mean when I feel that I am starting to get anxious, I now force myself to stop whatever it is that Iām doing, and just go outside for a stroll. Unfortunately there isnāt as much green space immediately accessible around the area I live in asĀ I would like, but strolling up and down South Bank isnāt bad for the old clearing of the mind. Unless itās rush hour. Nowhere is mind-clearing when itās rush hour.
Last year when things got particularly out of hand, I went up to the Lake District several times for a proper hike in the pouring rain. Being in nature does help a lot. (I used to live in Liverpoolā¦ so going to the Lakes werenāt as much of a trek as it is now that Iāve moved to London!)
Challenging my negative thoughts
This is a new one, and I admit Iām not good at doing this at all. Iām trying now to be more awareĀ of my thought processes as I know I have a tendency to spiral downwards pretty quickly in a whirlpool of āIām a failure; Iām not good enoughā.
By being more conscious of these thought processes, I hope to catch out when Iām being too negative. Hopefully Iāll learn to challenge these thoughts. Why am I making these negative assumptions about myself? What am I basing these assumptions on?
This is not easy. But I know itāll help me in the long run and prevent me from wallowing in self-pity.
Ah, Kate Nash, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for this wonderful piece of advice. I know she didnāt mean this for people with GAD, but Iāve chosen to apply it in this setting. Donāt let anyone tell you your GADĀ is an āoverreactionā, or you should ājust get over itā, or āpull yourself togetherā etc. YOUĀ Ā DOĀ Ā YOUĀ . Donāt listen to anyone else, other than your own gut instinct or your therapist when tell you how to manage your anxiety. You know what works best for you, and Lord knows itĀ is a difficult concept to try and make aĀ non-anxious people understand just what the heck having GAD feels like.
Iām not going to preach here, and I realise that this is an entirely personal choice and I am NOT trying to covert anyone to Christianity. I just wanted to put it out there that my choice to put my faith in God, and to trust that He only throws upon me what He knows I can handle, is one of the main things that has kept me sane.
If all else fails, I put on any of my fifty kick-ass red lipsticks and it immediately perks me up. Donāt believe me? Try it. Nothing beats a good red.
These are only strategies one can adopt at home to help with their anxiety. If you feel like you could benefit from any professionalĀ help from clinicians or psychologists or anything like that, IĀ implore you to seek help. There should be no shame in admitting that sometimes things get a bit overwhelming.
My therapist gave me a great analogy the first time I met him. He said that, sometimes we get into bad habits with out thinking patterns. We know theyāre negative, but itās hard to break the habit of being harsh and negative and mean to ourselves, preciselyĀ because theyāre a habit, and all habits by definition are hard to break. Going to a psychologist looking for help via CBT or whatever therapy type you feel you need to help break out of these bad mental habits is no different than going to see a dietician, or a nutritionist, a personal trainer to get your curb your bad physical health habits.
Ultimately, there should be no shame in needing help. It doesnāt matter that you feel low today. It might be a long and slow process to get back on your feet but there areĀ plenty of people here to help andĀ plentyĀ of people on this precise journey as well.
With that, I think Iāve rambled on enough now.
10 Things I Do When Iām Feeling a BitĀ Anxious Last month was the lowest I have ever felt in my life, and it was quite honestly one of the scariest experiences I have ever gone through.
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