DEATHLESS.

❛  you’re  leaving ?  ❜

❛  can  i  come  in ?  ❜

❛  can  you  shut  up ? ❜

❛  are  you  [ name ] ?  ❜

❛  who  am  i  to  you ?  ❜

❛  why  should  i  care ?  ❜

❛  can  i  come  inside ?  ❜

❛  did  i  do  something ?  ❜

❛  you  don’t  trust  me ?  ❜

❛  can  we  make  a  deal ?  ❜

❛  are  you  lying  to  me ?  ❜

❛  are  you  free  tonight ?  ❜

❛  are  we  going  to  die ?  ❜

❛  can  i  come  with  you ?  ❜

❛  can  we  call  it  even ?  ❜

❛  you  stay  here ,  okay ?  ❜

❛  you  think  i’m  stupid ?  ❜

❛  can  you  stitch  me  up ?  ❜

❛  are  you  doing  alright ?  ❜

❛  is  that  …  my  shirt ?  ❜

❛  who  takes  care  of  you ?  ❜

❛  have  you  seen  yourself ?  ❜

❛  what  took  you  so  long ?  ❜

❛  can’t  you  see  i’m  busy ?  ❜

❛  who  do  you  think  i  am ?  ❜

❛  why  are  you  helping  me ?  ❜

❛  are  you  happy  with  him ?  ❜

❛  are  we  having  a  moment ?  ❜

❛  are  you  listening  to  me ?  ❜

❛  how  are  you  so  arrogant ?  ❜

❛  how  did  you  afford  this ?  ❜

❛  what  are  you  doing  here ?  ❜

❛  is  this  all  in  my  head ?  ❜

❛  why  won’t  you  look  at  me ? ❜

❛  are  you  here  to  kill  me ?  ❜

❛  do  you  want  some  company ?  ❜

❛  are  you  from  around  here ?  ❜

❛  do  you  need  to  lie  down ?  ❜

❛  are  we  on  the  same  page ?  ❜

❛  why  didn’t  you  defend  me ?  ❜

❛  are  you  sure  you’re  ready ?  ❜

❛  where  is  this  coming  from ?  ❜

❛  where  were  you  last  night ?  ❜

❛  you  wanted  to  talk  to  me ?  ❜

❛  will  you  PLEASE  be  quiet ?!  ❜

❛  what  was  i  supposed  to  do ?  ❜

❛  why  do  you  look  so  guilty ?  ❜

❛  [ name ]  …  truth  or  dare ?  ❜

❛  why  did  you  bring  me  here ?  ❜

❛  are  you  looking  for  someone ?  ❜

❛  since  when  does  that  matter ?  ❜

❛  why  do  you  put  up  with  me ?  ❜

❛  THIS  is  your  breaking  point ?  ❜

❛  what  can  i  say  to  fix  this ?  ❜

❛  do  you  think  i  deserve  this ?  ❜

❛  hey ,  hey ,  are  you  with  me ?  ❜

❛  why  are  you  leaving  so  soon ?  ❜

❛  what  do  you  get  out  of  this ?  ❜

❛  [ name ] ,  what  have  you  done ?  ❜

❛  do  you  have  a  minute  to  talk ?  ❜

❛  did  you  ever  actually  love  me ?  ❜

❛  do  you  need  somewhere  to  stay ?  ❜

❛  why  don’t  you  ever  listen  to  me ?

❛  do  you  hear  yourself  right  now ?  ❜

❛  you  knew  &  you  didn’t  tell  me ?  ❜

❛  do  you  want  something  to  drink ?  ❜

❛  when  did  you  know  you  loved  me ?  ❜

❛  when  was  the  last  time  you  ate ?  ❜

❛  what’s  your  favorite  scary  movie ?  ❜

❛  do  you  want  to  get  out  of  here ?  ❜

❛  why  is  this  so  important  to  you ?  ❜

❛  can  i  at  least  buy  you  a  drink ?  ❜

❛  how  can  you  think  this  is  funny ?  ❜

❛  are  you  sure  you’re  up  for  this ?  ❜

❛  are  you  trying  to  start  something ?  ❜

❛  what  are  we  supposed  to  do  now ?  ❜

❛  can  we  at  least  try  to  be  civil ?  ❜

❛  why  won’t  you  just  leave  me  alone ?  ❜

❛  are  you  thinking  what  i’m  thinking ?  ❜

❛  why  are  you  so  concerned  about  me ?  ❜

❛  why  can’t  you  just  stay  out  of  it ?  ❜

❛  you’re  not  bailing  on  me ,  are  you ?  ❜

❛  how  long  have  you  been  lying  to  me ?  ❜

❛  can  you  keep  your  eyes  open  for  me ?  ❜

❛  how  long  have  things  been  like  this ?  ❜

❛  why  is  this  suddenly  such  a  problem ?  ❜

❛  what ,  am  i  supposed  to  be  impressed ?  ❜

❛  do  you  ever  wish  you  could  run  away ?  ❜

❛  you’re  going  to  believe  them  over  me ?  ❜

❛  why  are  you  looking  at  me  like  that ?  ❜

❛  why  can’t  you  just  tell  me  the  truth ?  ❜

❛  why  can’t  you  ever  take  responsibility ?  ❜

❛  what  can  i  do  to  make  it  up  to  you ?  ❜

❛  can  we  put  this  whole  thing  behind  us ?  ❜

❛  i’m  coming  to  get  you ,  where  are  you ?  ❜

❛  can  you  stay ?  just  for  a  little  while ? ❜

❛  why  won’t  you  let  me  be  here  for  you ?  ❜

❛  when  are  you  going  to  forgive  yourself ?  ❜

❛  is  that  what  your  nightmares  are  about ?  ❜

❛  what  kind  of  person  does  this  make  me ?  ❜

❛  where  are  we  supposed  to  go  from  here ?  ❜

❛  are  you  TRYING  to  get  yourself  killed  ?!  ❜

❛  why  can’t  we  just  talk  like  we  used  to ?  ❜

❛  why  do  these  things  always  happen  to  me ?  ❜

❛  how  long  has  it  been  since  you’ve  slept ?  ❜

❛  can’t  we  just  enjoy  the  moment  for  once ?  ❜

❛  why  can’t  you  ever  stand  up  for  yourself ?  ❜

❛  why  haven’t  you  been  answering  your  phone ?  ❜

❛  what  was  i  supposed  to  do ,  let  you  die ?  ❜

❛  can  you  listen  &  do  what  i  say  for  once ?  ❜

❛  what  do  you  mean ,  you’re  not  coming  back ?  ❜

❛  why  don’t  you  stay  the  night ?  just  once .    ❜

❛  can  you  see  how  many  fingers  i’m  holding  up ?  ❜

❛  you’d  tell  me  if  something  was  wrong ,  right ?  ❜

❛  where  do  you  go  when  you  space  out  like  that ?  ❜

❛  you  were  going  to  leave  without  saying  goodbye ?  ❜

❛  you’ll  stand  by  my  side  no  matter  what ,  right ?  ❜

❛  what  kind  of  mess  have  you  gotten  yourself  into ?  ❜

❛  i  need  you  to  sit  up ,  can  you  do  that  for  me ?  ❜

❛  if  you  have  nothing  to  hide ,  what’s  the  problem ?  ❜

❛  can  we  all  just  act  like  we’re  winning  for  once ?  ❜

❛  can  we  talk  about  this  at  a  time  that  isn’t  now ?  ❜

❛  you  really  don’t  care  about  any  of  this ,  do  you ?  ❜

❛  can  you  just  tell  me  everything’s  going  to  be  okay ?  ❜

        Ulquiorra had not believed he would see Orihime Inoue again.  He would not say that he had thought about what it would be like either.  It was a private thought,  tucked as far into the void of himself as he could.  It had remained that way.  Part of him had hoped it would stay that way.  The thought of such an encounter left him…  with something he could not describe.  As though the ghost of her was haunting him.  A ridiculous thought.

        That was not the way things were meant to be though.  She had reemerged when he had least expected it.  A blaring light in the darkness of Hueco Mundo.  It had caught him off guard.  A feat only achieved by her and her friends once before,  and with it brought up everything he had naturally repressed.  

        Ulquiorra rubs his thumb across the palm of his hand unconsciously when Inoue speaks,  that same sensation evoked again.  He does not know why she would bring herself into such a desolate place.  Nor why she is so intent upon seeking out his company.  Of course he had asked her but the response she had given had not answered him.  Not properly.  Not in a way that he could understand her.  The former Espada had resigned then that maybe it would be something he never would.

                                                                 Especially when she asked him things like this.

        Her words always flowed so freely,  that heartof hers open bare before him.  As if she placed it in his hand and told him not to squeeze.  Ulquiorra was not foolish enough to believe that he possessed one but she had shown hers to him.  It was something now that he could never unsee.  He stills the motion of his thumb purposefully,  only then realizing it had been in movement at all.  He does not like it.  This unconscious reaction his body gives.

        “…  I would not want to.”  Honesty would be the downfall.  Maybe it would even ruin whatever it was Inoue had built here,  and that was okay because whatever it was already felt on borrowed time.  Ulquiorra is not naïve enough to think that one as vulnerable as she would be spared the callousness he was made of.  Those of much stronger durability had been reduced to nothingness by him.  The deep darkness of the void still resided in the hollowed out parts of him.  Consumed him.  Hundreds of years of monstrosity could not be changed by the whims of one human.   Could it?  He turns his eyes to hers,  a point in his gaze.

          There’s a low static between his ears,  his skull imbued with the distinct sound of white noise that drowns out everything around him.  He is a ghost that no one around him can reach.  Untouchable,  unseen,  unheard.  If only they knew.  Surrounded by the scores of his division mates and yet feels more alone than he ever had before.  Even more so than he had in his youth,  pushed out,  cut off,  locked away.  That time was preferable to now,  this hollowed haunting that permeates throughout.  No,  perhaps being hollowed out would have been easier than this.  Take his lungs,  his guts,  his bones,  his blood,  his heart   -   take it all out instead of this…  this festering that’s seeped into him.  That’s spreading.

          Someone is speaking to him,  a voice distinctly familiar but somehow not.  Distorted and warped,  the white noise seems to fluctuate with their tone but he cannot make out what they say to him.  He can only nod,  can only pretend that he’s listening,  that he’s present even though he is anything but.  He’s a world away,  on another plane of existence,  ghosting along.  There’s a touch at the back of his hand,  no,  there’s only the impression of one.  It’s as if the persons hand goes through his own,  as if everything about him is phantom.

          He peers down but his eyes cannot capture who it must be in front of him as if they’re in gaussian blur,  befogged,  an illusion.  The white noise heightens,  drowns out not only what is around him but his own thoughts now.  It does not want him to think,  to be drawn out from its influence.  It has ensnared him and that is how he must remain,  saturated in the sea of static and phantasm.  It’s for his own good,  isn’t it?  Better than the alternative.

          He moves away without ever uttering a single word,  and how could he?  His mouth has been sown shut with invisible thread but he can feel it,  so it must be real.  Every time he tries to part his lips the stiches pull tauter still,  the needle felled back through them with a surgeons skill.  He’s not allowed to speak.  He’s not allowed to call out.  He’s not allowed to tell a single body what it is that’s rotting his own out.

          Cold hands,  the same ones pushing the needle through,  take hold of his face suddenly,  roughly.  He blinks and his vision begins to restore.  He can make out that he’s in his lab even though it’s darkened,  near pitch black.  Hadn’t he just been with the rest of his division?  Had his legs brought him here from habit and nothing more?  The pressure at his jaw intensifies,  eyes made to focus on what   -  who  -  is before him.  

Him,  him,  him,  him,  him,  him,  him,  him,  him,  hi

          What a liar he had been.  He had promised that he wouldn’t haunt him and yet here he is,  a wraith that Akon cannot escape.  Attached,  fastened,  fixed,  anchored,  chained.  What of him had laid claim to his heart now threatened to decay him in such slow process that he would stay alive and to feel it,  the decomposition from the inside out…  but to have him here with him for any purpose was good enough.  He’d embrace the festering inside of him,  the rot,  the painful touch so long as he didn’t stop this evocation of love lost.

          He desires to tell him that,  to speak despite his threaded mouth.  He parts his jaw,  his skin draws,  it’s not enough and the hands at his face begin to recede,  pull back,  fade into the darkness of his lab.  He can’t allow that but his own body won’t move.  All he has is his mouth to call him back.  Akon struggles,  lips pulled desperately as the sutures hold fast.  It’s not good enough.  He must tear his mouth apart before he’s gone entirely,  before he cannot see where he goes  -  to a place he cannot follow yet.

          Arms weighed down,  body soldered,  he continues his attempt to separate his lips first in silence then with desperate,  pleading sounds.  He’s screaming for him from his chest,  his throat,  for the phantom of Ryuuken who only seems to linger just inside transparency to witness what will happen.  He parts his jaw wider,  as far apart his teeth can go when he feels the first tear run along his mouth.  Crimson springs from the rip of flesh,  rushes down his chin and neck,  between the new gap of his lips and down his throat.  It sharply stings but still it’s not enough if he’s to call out to him.  If he’s to draw his haunting back.

          He uses his tongue,  his teeth,  anything to loosen the threads but they’re untarnishable.  There’s only one solution then.  He bites at his own flesh,  he mutilates from within and chews his way out until the threads tear through the damage of his mouth with one finally pull.  Akon cries out,  maw a ruined mess of blood and flesh,  drenching,  pouring,  flowing down.

          “Don’t leave me!”  He shouts,  a fog of tears about his eyes as Ryuuken shimmers in and out of sight.  “Don’t go without me.  Haunt me forever or take me with you!  I cannot take this any more!  -  Please,”  he chokes out,  the blood from his wounded mouth mixing with the salt of crying he now cannot stop.  His voice quiets,  pained,  tortured,  “I thought  -  I thought I could go on,  I know I promised you but it hurts too much without you.”

          “A memory,  a plague,  an apparition,  a hallucination,”  His mouth hurts,  the pain igniting and words slurred from self torn lips but Akon pushes through the torment.  Losing him would be far worse a suffering to endure.  “Whatever you are I’ll embrace,  so long as you don’t leave me alone again.  I can’t take this pain.”

          Hands unshackled,  Akon clutches at the clothing above his heart,  twists,  as if he might delve his hands behind his ribs to pluck out his heart and give it to him.  It was already his was it not?  It belong to him,  and only ever him,  the only person who had touched it.  When he’d died that touch had begun the rot.  He pushes himself off the couch,  falling to his knees and hands,  crawls towards where Ryuuken stays.  A ghost and a ghost,  he finds his hands can grab at him,  fingers twisted around his leg to hold him there,  head bent to the floor in prayer.

          “Don’t…  leave me….”  He throws all sense of self at this visitants feet,  at Ryuuken as he would have had he been allowed.  All of his self belonged to him anyway.  It was he who had touched his body and made him feel like he belonged in it.  It was he who touched his mind and made him see beyond the blinders he’d allowed.  It was he who touched him inside and made him realize love could flourish even in the darkest depths of him.  The places he dared not peer himself.  Why did he have to go and take that all away from him?

          Cold hands roughly take hold of his face once more,  palms against cheeks,  thumbs pressed against the shredded flesh of his mouth.  It’s not the man he remembers but Akon thinks he will take him however he is now.  Death made cruelty out of kindness.  He lifts his head to meet his eyes,  or lets his head be lifted,  gaze piercing him in place.  There’s a sensation none too pleasurable that roots along his spine,  digs between the vertebrate,  nestles.  It’s fear but not of what might come from Ryuuken,  rather that something in him screams in knowing his request will be denied.  That he does not want him.  That he does not care about what anguish has taken hold.  After all,  it’s his hands that made the stitches to keep him silent.

Please,  he goes to say but can only mouth the word when no sound comes out.

          He receives no verbal reply either,  nothing but a smile colder than the hands at his face.  His thumbs continue to press harshly against his tattered mouth,  tears and blood smeared across Ryuuken’s fingers in a shade of red Akon ventures to call beautiful if only because it hurts.  If only because he can sense something other than the numb,  white noise that had crept up and made a home in him ever since he’d left him behind in death.  Akon opens his jaw to let him in.  If he were lucky he’d push his hand in,  reach down his throat,  burst his lungs,  tear into his chest and take out this heart that belonged to him.

          For a moment that’s exactly what Akon suspects he’s going to do,  fingers pushed further into his mouth,  taking hold of his tongue,  choking him.  He embraces it,  hoping,  hoping,  hoping,  hoping for -

          There’s a sudden blaring of sound that snaps him out of this delusion,  the visage of Ryuuken shimmering briefly before entirely dissipating before him.  He clutches at nothing but air,  fingers curled in around themselves when he realizes it,  knees aching against the cold floor of his lab in prostration in vain.  The white noise sound begins to seep back in,  added to the loud ringing of someone outside his lab door.  Akon turns his eyes away from the place he had been,  towards the screen that shows exactly who wants let in.  His mouth,  unstitched and untorn presses into a frown at the sight of Rin standing idly outside.  

          It’s not his fault for ruining the moment he’d been having but he feels a build of ire all the same.  The lieutenant rises to his feet,  body stiff as he heads to the control panel on his desk.  For a long while he stares to see if the other will simply leave him be but after a few minutes pass he realizes that he won’t.  Akon presses a button so that he may speak to him without letting him in.  He finds his voice,  the tone nearly a rasp in lack of use as of late.   

          “Leave me be,  I’m busy.”

*  A MIXTURE OF NBC’S HANNIBAL PROMPTS , CHANGE ANY PRONOUNS AS NEEDED .

‘   This is not a fatal wound. The bullet misses every artery.   ‘

‘   It just means she can’t do anything about it. This is my design.  ‘

‘   I imagine what you see and learn touches everything else in your mind.    ‘

‘   I can’t shut mine off any more than you can shut yours off..   ‘

‘   Please, don’t psychoanalyze me. You won’t like me when I’m psychoanalyzed.    ‘

‘   Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go give a lecture on psychoanalyzing.   ‘

‘   Therapy doesn’t work on you because you won’t let it.   ‘

‘   Well, perhaps you need to un-learn some tricks.   ‘

‘   Last time he sent me to a dark place I brought something back.   ‘

‘   I suggested one of those clackin’ swingin’ ball things.   ‘

‘   It’s the inevitability of there being a man so bad that killing him felt good.  ‘

‘   I’m still not entirely sure that wasn’t my intention, pulling the trigger.   ‘

‘   Eating her is honoring her. Otherwise, it’s just murder.   ‘

‘   So killing somebody, even if you have to do it, it feels that bad?   ‘

‘   You beginning to appreciate my lack of sympathy?   ‘

‘   I don’t know how I’m gonna feel about eating her after all this.   ‘

‘   It isn’t very smart to piss off a guy who thinks about killing people for a living.   ‘

‘   Passion’s good. Gets blood pumping.  ‘

‘   My parents gave me a gift. A twin. Who wouldn’t want two of me?  ‘

‘   What kind of victim forgives the killer at the moment of death?   ‘

‘   I have no taste for animal cruelty. That’s why I employ an ethical butcher.    ‘

‘   I’m afraid I insist on it, no need for unnecessary suffering.   ‘

‘   Human emotions are a gift from our animal ancestors.   ‘

‘   Well this should be interesting. Please, doctor, proceed.   ‘

‘   What it grows, and where it’s growing it will likely kill you..   ‘

‘   It’s getting harder and harder to make myself look.   ‘

‘   But I am looking alone, and you know what looking at this does.   ‘

‘   I know what happens if you don’t look, and so do you.    ‘

‘   I can make myself look, but the thinking is shutting down.   ‘

‘   You don’t think I have a right to know what’s happening with my wife?  ‘

‘   The effect I was hoping to have was her death. Mission accomplished.    ‘

‘   Certain personalities are attracted to certain professions.   ‘

‘   Here we are, bunch of psychopaths helping each other out.    ‘

‘   Words are living things. They have personality, point of view, agenda.   ‘

‘   Your bad luck that you’re the best, pal.    ‘

‘   I feel like I’ve dragged you into my world.    ‘

‘   I want to go on record as saying that this is a very bad idea.   ‘

‘   It’s natural to see if someone is clever enough to climb over them.   ’

‘   What reason did you have to kill the others?   ‘

‘   Insane isn’t really black or white, is it?   ‘

‘   What do you smell on me?    ‘

‘   I think that the work you do here has created a sense of stability for you.   ‘

‘   You married? You’re married. How long you married? That long?   ‘

‘   I feel like hell. Actually, no, I feel, uh, fluid, like I’m spilling.    ‘

‘   You were attacked by a patient not too long ago. I read the report.    ‘

‘   They will believe he did. They will believe he killed others, too.    ‘

‘   I’m so sorry, ______. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you in this life.    ‘

‘   I know who I am. I’m not so sure I know who you are anymore.   ‘

‘   I am not the intelligent psychopath you are looking for.  ‘

‘   I’m not asking you to believe anything you can’t prove.   ‘

‘   I’ve always found the idea of death comforting.  ‘

‘   That would suggest a radically unorthodox form of therapy.    ‘

‘   I’m always happy to do a favor for a friend, just say the word.   ‘

‘   How does one politely refuse a dish in circumstances such as these?   ‘

‘   You never answered my question. How would killing me make you feel?   ‘

‘   She was compelled to take his life so she could take her own back.  ‘

‘   Tell me, did your heart race when you murdered her?   ‘

‘   When the fox hears the rabbit scream, he comes running. But not to help.   ‘

‘   I let you know me… see me. I gave you a rare gift, but you didn’t want it.  ‘