I'm so much closer to achieving my EGOT dream that I've had for all of an hour...

I have never felt so old as I did just now texting my friend and former co-worker, Colin Jost, to tell him that I just so happened to catch his interview on NPR without any prior knowledge that it was happening.

Say what you want about Chumbawamba, but they really just lured us all in with an infectious, nonsensical party song as the lead single from their album of (almost) the same name, Tubthumper, only for the rest of the album to be about literal anarchist ideology. Revolutionaries.

I'm not talking to anyone - don't look at me... don't think about me... don't thiNk about looking at me.

It's always weird when your likeness is used in memes that don't relate directly to you. Am I crying over Infinity War? No. I'm still on Spiderman: Homecoming on my list of rewatching all the MCU movies in chronological order... I had to wait for Black Panther on Netflix, but now we're back in business! Infinity War, I am coming for you.

I'd like to say that I have an interesting story as to where I went, but honestly I'm just dumb.

I don't think you understand how intimate a thing putting your fingernail underneath someone else's fingernail truly is. As far as the bases go, that's well beyond a homerun.