maybe the problem is that you’re over-romanticising your dr to the point where it becomes this perfect, distant place sitting on a pedestal. but your dr isn’t supposed to feel unreachable.
your dr is real, and real life includes messy moments, awkward moments, and completely unglamorous ones.
you’re going to have ups and downs there too. you’re going to stub your toe, get stomach aches, stand up too fast and feel dizzy, say “you too” when the waiter tells you to enjoy your food, and then think about it for the next three hours.
that’s what makes it real. not the aesthetic version you keep building in your head.
maybe the issue is that you’ve been focusing too much on making your scripts pretty, turning your dr into something aesthetic and curated through pinterest moodboards, edits, and posts. and maybe that feels comforting because it gives you a sense of closeness to something you haven’t fully experienced yet.
but there’s a difference between visualising and postponing.
because sometimes, all that “preparation” becomes a loop. you keep designing, refining, scrolling, imagining, updating, and calling it progress, when in reality, it might just be a very comfortable form of delay.
instead of shifting, you end up living in the “pre-shift”.
so ask yourself this honestly: are you creating… or are you avoiding?
are you afraid that if you actually try, you might not succeed?
because failure isn’t even real here. not in the way you think. there is no fixed outcome you can fall short of. there is no authority judging whether you did it “right” or “wrong”.
failure only exists when you define it as a stopping point. but nothing actually stops you here. nothing can revoke your awareness or your ability to experience.
you don’t “fail” and get sent back to zero. you simply experience something, interpret it, and continue.
you are not being graded, you are not being tested, and you are certainly not competing for permission to exist in another state of reality.
you are the awareness behind the entire experience. you are the one it all comes from. and if that’s true, then nothing you do can take you further away from it.
and maybe the more you keep polishing the idea of your dr, the more you delay actually stepping into it.
so maybe it’s time to try something different.
and remember, you have the power of choice. that gives you the ultimate control.
so choose to stop decorating it, stop preparing, stop waiting for the perfect version of it, stop delaying.
let it be messy. let it be ordinary. let it be real.