you felt like those shitty poetries that i wrote in the back of my notebooks,that perplexing equation my anxious brain couldn’t rest solving without and yet here i am. fascinated by all your complexities, wanting them to wreck me.
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@sheyapsss
you felt like those shitty poetries that i wrote in the back of my notebooks,that perplexing equation my anxious brain couldn’t rest solving without and yet here i am. fascinated by all your complexities, wanting them to wreck me.

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And for my final act of love, i let you go.
You starved me to death and came to feed my corpse.

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Omg you’re too much, you stress me out. You’re not enough. You’re the love of my life, i wanna marry you. Go away, just LEAVE why can you not take no as an answer. I love you. I want to fuck you you’re hot. Come. What can i do to make the breakup graceful for you, i really don’t want you as a girlfriend. Can we stay friends pls. I love you, you’re so pretty you got beautiful cheeks. I want to kiss you so much. Pls get out of my dm or I’ll block you. Fym someone else, you’re mine. You belong to me. I love you. Can you pls just go you’re stressing me out, im out. I’m out, i said im out. Hey, i love you.
“I want to be someone’s everything. I want someone to need me like I need air.”
— Megan Hart, Tempted
the desire to be in a relationship only comes around when you’re about to sleep, on the journey home alone, sundays, after the club, when it’s raining, winter, at the cafe, today, tomorrow and yesterday
a fool's fool
i'm tested and tried but a fool for you tell me you've never felt this way before i'll believe it, because what am i to do? it's my duty to be on my knees for you
i can handle a million lies if it can lead me to the one truth my plastic heart can handle your abuse just make sure you keep it temperate
what sign did you need to make it true when it's been standing right in front of you i'm sick and tired of your empty words and i'd deny them if they weren't from you
i have a weak spot, it's branded on my forehead according to everyone i've ever known well, there are worst things to be and i'll rank them when i am dead

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Nobody prepares you for the fact that you will go through some of the most heart shattering experiences of your life and are still expected to show up for work. Take care of yourself. Pay your bills. Meet your goals.
People who get to be sad at the comfort of their own home are lucky.
“You can’t spend the best years of your life waiting for someone to love you back.”
— Unknown
“You know who’s gonna give you everything? Yourself.”
— Diane Von Furstenberg
If someone hurt you, you’re allowed to feel hurt.
It doesn’t stop being painful just because they “didn’t mean to.” It doesn’t become okay just because they were hurting, too. It doesn’t disappear because mental illness was involved.
Your feelings are valid. Your pain is real. You don’t owe anyone your silence. You don’t have to brush it off or “be the bigger person.”
You’re allowed to sit with your feelings. To name them. To honour them. You don’t have to let it go just because someone else thinks you should.
Abusive people are not abusive 100% of the time. There may be quiet stretches, even moments of kindness or affection. Survivors often cling to those moments as proof of love. And maybe the person did love you, in their own way.
But here’s the truth. Love doesn’t erase abuse.
Love without safety and respect isn’t the kind of love you deserve.
Real love is more than the moments you aren’t being hurt. It’s more than occasional comfort between storms. Love is steady care, consistent kindness, and respect that doesn’t disappear when things get difficult.
Whether they loved you or not doesn’t change the harm you experienced. Both can be true. They may have loved you, and they also hurt you. The presence of love doesn’t make the abuse less real.
Disclaimer: I know that some people firmly believe that someone who abuses you can’t love you. You are valid to hold that view, and I respect it.
For this post, though, I’m framing it differently. Sometimes that narrative can make it harder for survivors to recognize abuse because if they’re convinced the person did love them, they might dismiss the harm as “not really abuse.” I want to be clear that even if someone loves you, that doesn’t erase the abuse, and love without safety or respect isn’t the kind of love you deserve.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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that calm after crying in sujood? unmatched.
Everyday i wake up and think to myself, is today the day? Is today the day it ends? Is today the day I finally stop loving you?