s

It was one of Link's friends from high school. He hadn't gotten a chance to enjoy most of his youth because of cancer but when he became free of it, his friend helped him experience what a normal person would during their adolescence.

“My last trip before Washington was Nevada. Do you remember Nevada? You used to date a lot of women there.” He reminded him that made Link cringed a little. “Uh, no! Not Nevada. That was a weird moment in my life, and I wouldn't recommend that to anyone.” Link recalled, laughing.

“At least you scored a lot of hot chicks there.”

Amelia coincidentally arrived at the last thought and was surprised to hear it. She intentionally coughed to let them know she was there and smiled widely at Link who had a slight fright. “Oh. Uh, this is Doctor Amelia Shepherd, she's going to be your surgeon — she’s the top of her league, don’t worry.” Link almost stuttered which made her laugh a little without removing eye contact, making him nervous.

“Oh, I must have died because this looks like heaven! You’re miraculously appealing to the eyes, Doctor Shepherd. I’m Daniel, Link's friend. You can call me Dan or literally whatever you want, I don’t mind.” He foolishly said that embarrassed Link a little.

“When Link suggested the finest brain surgeon he knew, I didn't know he meant professionally and quite literally.” Dan added that shocked them. Amelia doesn't mind the compliments, in fact, she loves them. Meanwhile, wincing in embarrassment, Link rubbed his neck and grinned at her.

“I'm sorry.” Link whispered that made Amelia chuckle. “I don't mind.” She said and smiled widely at the patient.

“I'll get you ready for pre-ops and I'll see you later, Dan.” She walked out of the room, followed by Link.

“I really am sorry for that, he’s not always like that.” Link told her. “I’m more concerned about you scoring a lot of hot chicks.”

“You heard that too?” He sighed.

“Don’t worry.” She paused and stared at his well-structured face for a second. “It’s understandable.” She continued and walked her way to prepare for the surgery.

Amelia was walking Dan to the operation room when she noticed how he was trembling a little. “Are you okay?” She genuinely asked.

“I’m just a bit nervous. Surgery is a 50-50 chance and I believe in you doctor; I really do. I just don’t believe in me that much; I might give up on your table.” He anxiously said “When I do, that’s on me and not you. I just want to let you know, in case.” He continued

“I won’t let that happen.” Amelia said and held his hand. “I mean, I’m gonna die eventually. My previous doctor even said I have a few months left to live and you’re just extending those months. So, if I’m going to die, might as well die trying.” He spoke.

They were still at least 10 minutes away from the O.R and Amelia has observed that his trembling happens less when he talks. Right now, he’s pretty much shaking.

“Uh, where did you meet Link?” She asked, trying to start a conversation. “I met him in high school. We were like brothers, we still are, but I became busy trying to live my remaining days. I haven’t really caught up on him lately.” He replied

“Although I heard of his son. I’ll meet him eventually if this surgery goes well. Also, this woman he's dating, he talks about her often, but I haven’t seen nor knew of her name. I’m starting to think she’s not real cause he talks highly of her, like the perfect woman he’s known. But I’ll believe him because they have a child as proof so there’s that.” He babbled that caused Amelia to laugh, considering she’s literally beside him.

“Not like the other women he’s dated?” She laughed

“Oh, definitely not. Love isn’t his thing until this woman. I want that for me, you know. I want to experience that.” He said and looked at Amelia, mesmerized by her smile. “Are you seeing someone, Doctor Shepherd?” He asked

“Would you like to experience that with me?” He continued.

“Wow, you’re so direct. You really don’t waste time, do you?” Amelia laughed

“I mean, life’s short. It’s quite literally for me.” He genuinely waited for Amelia’s answer, and she just smiled until the elevator doors opened.

“Doctors don’t date their patients, it’s a thing.” She turned him down as nice as she could possibly be. “Well, fair. But you’re not going to be my doctor anymore if this goes well. I’ll try to find another one and I’ll take you out to dinner, if you’ll allow me.” He insisted.

“That would be nice, but I’m seeing someone.” Dan jokingly acted like an arrow pierced through his heart while hearing those words, and nodded. “It was worth to try.” He responded

“That person's lucky. Not many people would have this chance.” Dan said before going through anesthesia.

The surgery was a success, but he wasn’t waking up any time sooner. He hadn’t shown any sign of consciousness and it’s already been a week. Link never left his side and always checked up on him until he started moving a muscle a few days later.

“Page neuro.” Link abruptly said and checked his vitals. His eyes were starting to open as Amelia arrived. “His vitals are good; he moved a muscle. He’s trying to wake up.” Link enthusiastically reported, as the surgery was a success all throughout.

“Dan? Can you hear me?” Amelia called him, softly being as gentle as possible as he’s going to be sensitive to sound. His eyes took some time to fully open, but he immediately smiled when the first thing he saw was Amelia. “Will you give me a chance now?”

Link was clearly surprised to hear those words while Amelia just laughed, knowing she didn’t worsen him.

They gave him a day to recover his strength and Link eventually kept his promise. “This is Scout Derek Shepherd Lincoln.” He said and brought Scout to his side. Dan was smiling so widely until he realized something. “Wait, Shepherd?” He clarified

“Yeah, you were flirting with his mother and my girlfriend.” Link told him that sent waves of embarrassment to Dan’s body. “Oh, kill me now.” He exclaimed that shocked Amelia who just arrived at his room. It was so out of context that Link had to laugh. “What happened?” She asked

“You didn’t tell me it was Link who you’re seeing.” He said in complete embarrassment

“Seeing?” Link asked and gave Amelia a look knowing what they are wouldn’t be described as seeing.

“What? I enjoyed the compliments.” Amelia laughed and moved to Link’s side.

“Don’t worry, she turned me down twice.” He assured him. “Of course, you fit the description.” He said, recalling their conversation a week ago. Amelia just smiled and became serious right after. “I’ll check up on you from time to time. You’ll have to start chemotherapy soon, but you can still continue to live life to the fullest, the way you want it. Just do less extreme activities.” She spoke.

“Well, I believe in living as if it’s your last. Thank you, Doctor Shepherd.” He sincerely thanked her for giving him more time.

“Amelia. You can call me Amelia. And of course, a friend of Link is a friend of mine.” She said and smiled at both his boys.

“We’ll give you guys some time alone to catch up.” She offered and picked up Scout from his dad’s arms.

“You have a beautiful family, Link.” He spoke. “I’m sorry I flirted with your girl.” Dan laughed.

“If I have a dollar every time that happens, I would have been rich and quit medicine." Link replied, laughing with him.

-----------

A year then went by in the blink of an eye. His primary focus being on the pandemic, and on his friend. His friend, Jo. Who fell in love with the idea of being a mother and asked for his help in a moment of desperation. She never considered Amelia, and neither did he. His biggest regret. How could he have deprived his friend of the greatest gift in the world? Being a parent meant everything to him. He wished she could’ve had that without him having to sacrifice who he loved.

Link had made a mistake. The moment he saw her face that day, he knew. He felt lost. His usual ways of coping weren’t working. He was at a loss. He thought of Amelia and decided to do what she does best, what she always tried to push him to do.

He wrote his feelings. It read a little something like this.

Amelia,

You are the one who talks, it’s something we’ve fought about I know. You would want me to talk and I always said it didn’t work for me. That’s what I thought, it’s what I believed. But now, I barely recognise myself. I don’t know who I am. I am not making excuses, I hurt you, I broke down our relationship. I am responsible for the current loss of our family and I understand that. I look at myself in the mirror and I don’t understand how I reached this place. I’ve decided to write, it’s a step in your direction. I wasn’t wrong when I said you inspire me and impress me. Its time I try to be more like you and use my words.

My life changed when I met you. I felt true love for the first time, everything I thought my life was going to be shifted, my hopes and dreams changed. I got carried away with this new life and the thought of marriage and more children felt necessary for the new life we were building. When I took a step back, I realised I was doing it all for the wrong reasons. We don’t need the conventional lifestyle. Nothing about our relationship has ever been cliché or ‘normal’. We don’t need the legality or more people for our family to be real. You, me, Scout. That’s my family. That’s what is real to me. I miss you being in my arms. It’s been a while since I felt safe, since I felt content. What we have is all I need, I promise.

I hope that someday, you can forgive me. I hope I can forgive myself. I will work every day for the rest of my life to have you be mine again, if you’re willing to let me try.

Link

Her eyes stung with tears. Tears she hadn’t let out yet. It had been weeks and she had felt nothing but numbness. Back and forth to meetings, avoiding work, holding Scout in her arms. Repetition. For weeks. Waiting. Perhaps waiting for Link to do something? Or say something? She didn’t even know herself what she was waiting for.

Amelia loved Link. She had been in love before, none of her relationships had been healthier or happier than the one she shared with the father of her child, Scout. Relationships are hard. She knew that more than anyone. People make mistakes and things can feel impossible, it doesn’t always mean they’re not fixable.

When Amelia looked back at the ways Link had hurt her, she tried to look at life from his perspective. She exhaled. Life is fucking hard. People grow and change and do shitty things, she understood. She felt his pain the way she felt her own.

Owen’s words echoed in her mind “isn’t it exhausting, feeling everyone’s feelings so deeply all the time?” It is exhausting, but in a way it’s so beautiful. She knows it takes an open minded, strong person to take into account the feelings of another when they have wronged her.

Amelia moved slowly upstairs, reached the room they shared so many times. She lay on the bed and closed her eyes to feel her surroundings. Taking herself back to times where she has hurt others. People she loved more than anything, she has caused pain and suffering. She has been granted forgiveness, she changed her behaviour and grew as a person. Into an incredible mother, partner and friend.

She loved Link.

She still does.

She is still hurt.

She is accepting that.

She is accepting his apology.

She is granting him forgiveness.

He is working to prove to her, and to himself, that he can be the partner and father that his family deserves.