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Not today Justin
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Product Placement
YOU ARE THE REASON
RMH

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

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d e v o n
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@sheekandshades

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you need to find people who feed you and not just need you. especially in your inner circle of closest friends. you shouldn’t have alarmists who are always having a crisis or people who always want you to keep them happy. your close friends need to be reliable, intelligent, inspiring, and conscientious people who push you forward. like iron sharpening iron, you make each other better. whomever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. proverbs 13:20. a verse to live by.
Justine Skye
I would crash out over her, she’s breathtaking.
How To Stop People Pleasing ⭐
Recognize that you have a tendency to do it. Self awareness is the first step towards change.
Try to figure out why you do it. It might be rooted in a desire for approval, fear of rejection, low self-esteem, or past experiences.
Learn to say "no" when necessary without feeling guilty, even if you feel guilty. Understand that setting boundaries is essential for your mental and emotional health.
Practice self care and prioritize your own needs and well being. This means taking time for yourself, setting personal goals, and pursuing your interests.
Figure out your core values and beliefs. Make decisions that align with your values rather than what you think will please others.
Practice assertiveness skills to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and boundaries effectively while respecting others' rights and opinions.
Reframe any negative thoughts or beliefs that drive your people-pleasing behavior. Replace them with more empowering and self-affirming thoughts.
Accept that not everyone will always be pleased with your decisions or actions. It's okay to experience discomfort, and it doesn't make you a bad person.
Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that nobody is perfect. It's okay to make mistakes and learn from them. Mistakes are a way of learning and it is okay to make them.
Start with small steps and gradually build your confidence in asserting your needs.
Write down all your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in these type of situations. This can help you gain insights and track your progress. You need to understand the issue and why you do it in order to get through it.

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🏷️ Didi Stone
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On a Saturday afternoon
i stopped focusing so much on how i was being perceived and starting focusing on how i was perceiving myself and treating myself in my own mind body and soul. self love and discovery is necessary at a time like this.
STEP 1 - CHANGE WHAT YOU’RE AWARE OF
notes from “the creative use of imagination” by neville goddard 🤍
step 0 is to decide what you want. maybe you want money, or a new place to live, or an sp, or physical appearance changes.
step 1: begin to observe those thoughts and reactions towards the thing you want to manifest.
“to arrive at a certain definition of self, you must begin by uncritically observing your automatic reaction to an event, for your reaction defines your state” -NG
throughout this post, I will use the example of physical appearance change.
maybe throughout your day, you see pictures of other people on social media that you view as more attractive as you, and your reaction to that is “I wish I looked like them, this isn’t fair why am i not as attractive as them, what do I need to do to look like them” etc.
or maybe you see yourself in the mirror and you think “god why do i look like that, why am i not attractive? why hasn’t my face changed yet?” Etc
if you were in the state of having your desired physical appearance, would you be reacting that way to your 3D?
the first step to changing our state is to first learn the way our old state behaves and reacts to things. it is our current dwelling state that is reflecting in our 3d right now, and when you stop and observe your reactions to things, it becomes glaringly obvious how they’re creating your 3d. if you’re ruminating on how ugly you think you are all day long, you cannot be surprised when you look in the mirror and are dissatisfied with what you see.
“If you react to that which is being objectified, you bind yourself to a certain level of awareness, but if you refuse to react, the thread is broken.” -NG
“Only by observing your reactions to life can you find yourself.” -NG
how are you supposed to know what state you are in if you don’t observe your reactions? And once you begin to observe your reactions, Neville says you will be shocked by how deceitful you truly are. but he always urges the importance of uncritical observation. you should not shame yourself for what you find, or even feel bad. these observations are simply meant to show you your current state, and the ins and outs of it so you are able to change it more easily.
“always examine yourself uncritically, for the moment you become critical, you automatically justify your reactions and associate yourself with the thing observed.” -NG
once you begin to observe your reactions, you will become more aware of them when they happen. they’ll grow to become uncomfortable and glaring. they will feel like they don’t fit you anymore. maybe before they were just knee-jerk, unconscious reactions, but now you will feel them take up the space in your head whenever they arrive. and because of this, you will be able to shift your awareness to what you really want your 3d to reflect. you will be able to let go of the parts of yourself you no longer wish to identify with.
“be transformed by the renewing of your mind by changing the ideas planted there, for you cannot change your thinking until you change the ideas from which your thoughts flow.” -NG
your state creates your thoughts, not the other way around. it is critical to understand this if you wish to change your dwelling state. your thoughts are not your enemies. if you constantly battle against your thoughts, without ever paying mine to your state, you will not have much success.
“accept an idea as true. identify yourself with it and it will out-picture itself in your world. but if you do not accept the thought and identify yourself with it through feeling, you are free from its results. you must become very selective and learn not to associate yourself with unlovely thoughts.” -NG
this is not to confused with the term “mental diet.” when you react negatively to something, you have two options. 1) beat the thought down and panic and tell yourself the opposite without believing it to be true, or 2) choosing not to identify with it. remind yourself that this thought is just a thought. it has no power over you, and if you don’t want it to be manifested into your reality, it will not. Neville says if you do not consent to a thought as true, it will not manifest into your world. if you don’t associate your inner being with that thought, it will not come to pass in your 3D.
“start now to consent only to lovely thoughts of fulfilled desires prior to their confirmation by your senses, and give up the animal instinct of suffering and bathing yourself in the feelings of hurt and self-pity.” -NG
ruminating in unpleasant thoughts where your desire remain unfulfilled can be comfortable, and even habitual, but at the end of the day it is a choice. a choice that you have to stop making if you truly want better for yourself. this is something I struggled with a lot at the beginning of my manifestation journey. there was some twisted pleasure and comfort found in picking at scabs in my mind, and feeling sorry for myself, and imagining what would happen if my desire was never realized in my 3d. but eventually I had to choose better for myself, and I had to choose to stop giving so much attention to mental conversations like that.
“control your imagination with steady attention and dare to stand and be heard.” -NG
YOU create the happenings of your imagination, and your imagination creates your reality. do not feel silly or foolish deciding better for yourself in your own imagination. and do not let the logical restrictions of the 3d to tell you what you can and can not give yourself in imagination. give yourself what you want in imagination and stand firm in that, even if your 3d shows the opposite. stop silencing yourself in your own imagination!
this is my thoughts and notes only on the first two chapters of “the creative use of imagination” so more may come as I continue my re-read! 🤍 just wanted to share this :)

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𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐃𝐄
𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅: 𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐃𝐀𝐘
this is nothing but an enhancement of the person already within you. this is not to say you aren’t perfect in your own beautiful way and you need to change your whole self because you’re “not up to par”. i make this post to tell you to never put a limit on your growth because change is constant and the smallest things make the absolute biggest difference. this is an endless self improvement journey where you will make clear of your beautiful qualities buried underneath, embody the person you’ve always wanted to become, and find new lovely sides of yourself in the process. the idea of change, even in the slightest, shouldn’t be feared but instead welcomed. there is nothing better than evolving and being a better person than you were yesterday. remember that you can change at any time. you don’t have to wait until a new year, month, or week and note that it’s never too late to do so. there is no other time than now. this post will always be here for you to look back on. and of course, despite the mentions of dream girl, this post is for EVERYONE.
to start and this is very crucial, ask yourself a series of questions:
what are my deepest values in life? envisioning the dream person i desire to be, do the habits i hold support me on this journey? what are some things i need to let go of that i’ve been putting off? how have i been feeling these past few months? do the people i socialize with inspire & encourage me in my endeavors?
really take your time to think about what you value, ways you can support them and analyze things in your current life.
now that you’ve got the foundation, let’s begin and become the dream girl you want to be.
do right by you. you can’t do right by others if you abandon yourself for the sake of them.
𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐔𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍
bring out the journal because we are going on a self discovery journey!
what are your goals that you’ve been wanting to achieve? start a business, do better in school and be at the top of your class, getting to places on time, be more open to meeting new people, reading more books a month, being more elegant, gentle, and kind…
what does the dream person in your mind look like? what habits and kind of friends do they have? how do they spend their time? how do they carry themselves?
what are some things you need to let go of in order to successfully embody this person? socializing with toxic people, not having structure in the day, excess social media usage, substance consumption, sleeping in, procrastinating, victimizing, the negative self-talk, gossip, letting people step all over you…
what are some habits you’ll need to cultivate? lessen social media usage, waking up and going to sleep early, eating healthy, exercising, picking up old and new hobbies again, more walks, starting work right away, being kind to yourself…
𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐎𝐗
digital declutter: delete any and all useless apps. most of them are to be real with you. you don’t have to check your influencer’s new posts and vlogs and you will be okay if you miss out on the newest internet trends. for a little more push on letting go of social media, read my post on digital minimalism here.
remember, that this is a self development journey. you can’t and won’t accomplish the goals and habits of the it girl you want to be if you’re on your phone for more than half the day. be raw with yourself. let go of social media.
social group: really take some time to think about the people you hang around with. are they supportive? negative? do they talk bad about others? criminals? are they goal setters and high-achievers? do they support you and your goals? do they hang around with bad people?
the people you socialize with tells a lot about your character. seriously! if you hang out with people who treat others like garbage (for no reason), if THEY knowingly socialize with people who do tons of horrible things, where do YOUR morals lie? yes, they have been nice to you and you’ve known them for years but that excuse begins to fade when you are striving to be a better person and morals come into play. the environment you tolerate will hold you back.
don’t feel bad about doing this. i did at first but it’ll go away, trust me when i say you’ll do so much better.
most importantly, self care: how you carry and treat yourself shows others how to treat you. once you acknowledge what you are worthy of, you will not allow yourself to settle for anything that doesn’t meet your standards and much less allow yourself to tumble back into old, unhealthy ways.
enforce boundaries on yourself and others. get rid of the habits of bashing yourself when you make an honest mistake or your work performance/grades are low, stop saying horrible things when you look in the mirror, stop complaining and staying up at night for unnecessary reasons, damaging your health, stop letting people insult you, quit over explaining yourself.
detox ending note: again, take it easy with yourself. the more you exercise and strengthen your self-discipline, the easier this detox will be for you. you can start by applying a few habits at a time until it’s basically a part of a routine and go on from there but you have to remember to take it seriously in implementing it into your daily routine/life.
tell yourself that you are doing amazing because you are! you are striving to be better you every single day! how is that not admirable? you are always doing your best even if it may not feel like it.
𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍
now that you have a clear vision of things even if it’s little! you need to do in order to fully embody your dream self, it’s time to put things into motion.
how can you do this? enforcing self-discipline and setting boundaries.
think of motivation as a power boost at the starting line and your foot pressing on the pedal of your car is discipline, it’s what keeps you going forward on your journey. motivation, as fleeting as it is won’t bring you far but self-discipline will.
DEVELOPING SELF DISCIPLINE
self-discipline: the ability to control one’s feelings and overcome one’s weaknesses; the ability to pursue what one thinks is right despite temptations to abandon it.
boundaries
a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.
a limit of a subject or sphere of activity.
remind yourself of the life you want to live and the person you desire to be, remember that all of your desires have always been within reach. you just have to break out of the barrier you’ve put up for yourself, fight through the fear and the “what if’s” and just do it! the person you wish to be is already within you.
thinking of and wanting to start is one thing but actually starting, no matter how small has already moved mountains you can’t yet see.
WHERE TO START
self-discipline and boundaries go hand in hand. setting healthy boundaries will shine light on the path you want to take by making sure you’re staying protected by actions made by you and other people and discipline keeps you in check so that you can go about your self improvement journey the best that you can!
this can look like…
overcoming the urge to wallow in past failures and instead looking forward to a chance at a new beginning.
putting yourself first. taking care of your mind, body, and soul.
getting out of bed to finish your tasks even if you wanted to sleep in.
correcting yourself when you were slipping up on an old habit without self criticism.
making sure your boundaries allow you to grow and fix them as you seek fit
learning the best ways to say no and yes
being more considerate and kind to yourself and others.
not letting futile thoughts, ideas, and actions hinder your progress.
finally putting forth projects you’ve pushed aside.
picking yourself back up after a difficult time even if it took a while.
more on boundaries here: BOUNDARIES 101
habits to acquire:
thinking of which times you felt down and uplifted and figuring out what contributed to those feelings. avoid habits and situations that don’t serve you and bring in more of what made you feel good about yourself and how you can further enhance that experience.
not rushing your personal journey
having a set routine. morning + night ideas.
standing firm on your boundaries
stop comparing.
becoming a digital minimalist
identifying with old habits and perceptions of yourself
investing in your appearance (because pampering is relaxing!)
not caring about what others think of you
taking care of your mind, body, and soul. tuning into what you need and what is best for you, fully influenced and putting things into motion because it’s what you truly want, not for pleasing others or trying to “fit in”
enjoying stillness
indulging in old and new hobbies every day. make it a priority!
more ideas here!
CONTINUING TO STRENGTHEN DISCIPLINE
how do habits form? how do people get better at what they set their minds to? by figuring out what works for them and what doesn’t, what their roadblocks are and from then on, repetition and consistency.
keep in mind that healing and improvement is subjective. make it work for you so that you are setting yourself up for success. take what you see from posts like these, videos, and books and refine it to make it fit perfectly with how you would like things to go.
take the habits you intend to leave behind and the ones you’d like to acquire and map out how you would go about leaving the past in the past to welcome in the new.
figure out what your roadblocks are. when there comes a time where it’s hard to continue forward on your path, tune into your body and mind. what is it telling you? there is something that is bothering you that needs to be addressed. are you well rested? have you had enough water today? are you overstimulated? are there any illnesses that can easily flare up and be the reason why you’re feeling this way?
don’t beat yourself up for feeling demotivated and unreasonably drained. most of the time, it’s really not the case. you just need to figure out what is going on and address it gently and sometimes you won’t really know what’s going on until later on and that’s okay!
i would always feel drained or overstimulated with my depression, adhd, and chronic fatigue. it would cause me to flare up and enter episodes (depressive and manic). the things i would realize was that it was either caused by: an triggering/traumatic event, intense emotions that didn’t have an outlet, continuous outings. and sometimes flares up will just happen and i began to understand that.
i didn’t blame myself for having illnesses. i just grew aware that what really matters is: i get through it every. single. time. and i will be okay even if i literally felt my world was crashing down on me yet again.
something that can help when dealing with episodes is that when you feel it coming on, prepare yourself so you can get through it even if it makes the experiences just a little bit better by 1%. taking a shower and brushing your teeth, cleaning up your space, gathering snacks and easy to make meals, telling a trusted loved one you won’t be available but might need their support, trying your best to go on walks even if it’s hard, putting on comfortable clothes, etc.
which one works for you? working your way up, going all in or both? it really all depends on what this method applies to. if you think changing your routine by the slightest will be a good step, do it or if you feel confident that deleting all the apps on your phone all at once is something you want to do, go all in.
keep track of your accomplishments. tracking your accomplishments will show how much you’ve done and keep you on your feet! nothing beats the feeling than looking back at all the things you’ve done before heading towards the rest of your goals with your head high. anything is possible. remind yourself that you can do it. sort it to yearly, monthly, and daily to do lists! it’s always the best thing to look at when there are times where you don’t feel like you did “enough”. your effort is more than enough!
and so you take a few days to rest. relaxing, taking a vacation… does this mean you’re being inconsistent? absolutely… not. duh? resting is being productive. putting yourself first IS self care! reward yourself with relaxing days spent by traveling, resting, going out etc. do what makes you happy and be safe. keeping a balance is SUPER important!
“take things slow with yourself. if your body wants to rest, let it rest. let your mind rest as well by letting go all the worries of “why you’re not active”. who cares if you take a slow day? do you know how much you’ve been through? the least you can do for yourself is be comfortable in your own bed without a care in the world. you’ve experienced enough guilt. let yourself be free knowing that you deserve to rest. you deserve moments of stillness. enjoy the now. it’s all we have. we’re not always meant to be up and running. we simply weren’t made that way. there is beauty in stillness, peace, and quiet. don’t put it to shame. instead, let your mind, body, and soul experience more of it.
do things at your own pace. if you think you can get up, brush your teeth and that’s all that you can do for the day, so be it. don’t force yourself to do things you can’t handle. you’ll be doing more harm than good. take it day by day. add an extra task as days go on. do something you believe will be fulfilling like going on a quick walk around the block, going to the store to get a drink, baking a treat, sitting outside for a few minutes at a time.”
— blushydior in be kind to yourself. healing is a journey.
𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔
read this with conviction:
“as of this very moment, i am leaving my old and undesired self behind; the past mistakes, the unhealthy habits, how i used to treat myself and the way i allowed others to treat me, and all the pain i have held on to for so long. it’s all gone now. even if i may or may not have a clear vision of the dream person i am now embodying, i will remain open minded and brave into learning and growing each and everyday. i am not my past mistakes nor my trauma. i’m safe and secure now. and because i’m aware of my infinite power of having full control of my reality, i am rewriting my story.”
you are not your past mistakes. you are not the negative words you have been told. you are who you want to be. everything in your world holds absolutely no meaning unless you assign it meaning thus, giving it power. turn a blind eye to things that don’t serve you, put yourself first and watch how you will bloom vibrantly.
𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅.
NOTHING IS OUT OF REACH. everything you want is already within you, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
GIVE PERFECT A MEANING OF YOUR OWN! you are still an it girl if you make mistakes, you are still a healthy, recovering person with a few very tough days this week.
you are perfect for:
taking it easy
always trying your best even if it doesn’t feel like it
making a mistake and learning from it
telling yourself: “i had a tough day today but it’s okay! i’m going to rest and take it easy. i’m okay. i am always doing my best. there’s nothing to worry about. tomorrow will be an amazing day.”
allowing yourself to cry, feel, and express your thoughts and emotions
putting your need first
using fear as an opportunity to grow
YOU ARE PERFECT LIKE YOU.
REMEMBER: THIS IS A JOURNEY
you will grow at your own pace naturally.
don’t compare yourself to others, they too had a past and obstacles to overcome (and still do!) to get where they are at right now.
don’t rush into things, handling more than you could at once.
don’t beat yourself up for not knowing certain things earlier. everyone learns and realizes things differently.
this is not a race, there’s no routine that is supposed to be one size fits all. this is a self paced journey. you will realize and see things at a different perspective as events unfold, you will outgrow the people around you and the bad habits as you find yourself at a more stable chapter in your life. don’t rush, don’t compare, just keep looking forward.
𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒
i have fully embodied my definition of a dream girl/boy/person.
i carry myself with full confidence and elegance.
there is not a day that goes by where i don’t do my best.
i’m beautiful, intelligent, hardworking, kind, and gentle.
i am the best version of myself.
success is inevitable for me. i am successful at everything i do.
i have all of my desired qualities.
i become better and better each and every day!
my self awareness increases every second. i have the most perfect mental diet.
it’s so easy for me to persist in new and beneficial thoughts. flipping thoughts is just way too easy.
i am in full control of my reality. i am fully aware of my potential and i will never let anything or anyone affect me.
“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.”
— Zen Shin
☆ here is the google doc (and better) version! ☆
Luxurious and classy ✨
How to level up pt.2 - how I did it
Career
I work in tech. In addition to working hard at my job, I am always learning computer science theory, new programming languages, new libraries, etc. to improve my skill set. I network with other women in tech to motivate myself. Work hard and keep learning.
Physique
I exercise Mon-Sat, 40-50 minutes of weightlifting and an hour of treadmill. Yes, I invest almost 2 hours a day, 6 days a week. It pays off.
I eat very very healthy. I only eat not-so-healthy food when a rich man is taking me out to a restaurant. I eat a small amount of brown rice, plenty of tofu for protein, lots and lots of vegetables and mushrooms, and a fruit (or a handful of them if they're like berries) for dessert. I eat the same things every day. Some people would find it dull (in which case you should find creative recipes that are healthy) but I don't mind it at all, as I get to eat gourmet food regularly on dates. It is very inexpensive and convenient as I can buy produce in bulk and prepare them routinely.
Skincare & Makeup
Please keep in mind that drinking lots of water and getting enough sleep will do more for your skin than any product ever will, but it is important to use the right products to take care of your skin as well. I also use fragrance-free products, I just don't think fragrance is necessary in skincare and it may have negative effects on your skin depending on your sensitivity.
My skincare routine is as follows, in order:
Cleansing oil - night only, to remove makeup. If you're wearing sunscreen (which you absolutely should) without makeup, it still needs some cleansing oil to remove.
Facial cleanser - I use a mild one as the cleansing oil does the heavy lifting.
Exfoliating gel - once or twice a week remove the dead skin cells off your skin. It helps smooth your skin and help skincare products absorb better.
Toner - to immediately hydrate my skin after cleansing, as well as restoring the ph level.
Face mask - once or twice a week, it's more of a psychological self care thing, though.
Moisturizing lotion - for moisturizing.
Moisture cream - for extra moisture. My skin is pretty dry and I also live in a climate that's very dry 75% of the time.
Eye cream - even when you're young, you should start taking care of your eye area before you get crow's feet.
Sunscreen - morning only. I use mineral sunscreens as chemical sunscreens tend to cause irritation for me.
Massage in the products well and allow time for each product to absorb.
This is pretty minimal for a Korean woman, but sometimes less is more in my opinion.
I keep my makeup pretty simple as well.
(Not that I look like Jennie but this is the closest photo I could find to my makeup style)
I have naturally strong eyebrows and nice cheeks/cheekbones so I make sure they get the attention.
Fashion
My style is very simple and professional, best described by business casual. I don't own many trendy pieces. I don't wear heels except for special dates or occasions, I just own my shortness. I do what works for me rather than following what I see on Tumblr or Instagram.
Working at a tech startup, dressing very very casually is tolerated and even encouraged, but having a small body and young face, wearing hoodies like my colleagues just has me looking like a kid in school rather than a professional woman.
For dates, I wear very feminine dresses that have the right details.
I always buy clothes at brick-and-mortar stores where I can see and feel the material for myself and try things on. Buying online may be more affordable and convenient, but you don't know for sure how it's going to look just based on photos.
Store-bought clothes will rarely fit perfectly. It's important to buy items that fit right, but sometimes if an item made of high quality fabric is on sale for a really good price but the fit isn't ideal, I will buy them and get them altered.
Remember that good physique is the best fashion statement.
Interests & Hobbies
I consider myself a dilettante; I have varied interests. I frequent the library and the theaters in my city to remain cultured. (Though corona kind of killed the performing arts...) I take one-day classes and online lectures. I listen to podcasts when I'm on the train. I'm always learning new things. I don't have one set hobby that I really stick to, but I'll always be able to say "Oh, these days I'm really into..." when someone asks about it.
Time Management
I use a notebook style planner to keep my schedule and to-do lists in one place. I find that having a paper planner is better for me, using apps on my phone just don't work as well in my experience.
I have a routine that I stick to religiously, but sometimes I have to deviate from my routine; it happens. On such days I plan ahead around it to make sure I get everything done. I plan every moment from waking up to bedtime. I plan planning sessions into my schedule. I plan break and rest times so I don't get burnt out. Being meticulous works for me most of the time, but I've also learned to be flexible as not everything goes as planned.
Socializing
Like I said in the beginning, I network with other women (and men) in the tech industry every chance I get. And since technology is used in pretty much every industry, I come across people who work in other industries, and I make sure to network with them as well. I meet people from my one-day classes and art performances I attend. If you interest yourself in professional and social gatherings, you will find people who are also interested in that sort of events and care enough to attend. That's how you meet people who are on your level.
Dating
If you do socializing right, you will come across men who are eligible. My personal approach with them is numbers game. Engage, politely extract myself when they turn out to not be the kind of man I want, move on to the next.
Do all of the above, so you'll be worthy of a worthy man.

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A common issue I see amongst young women getting into the ‘Elevated Woman’ scene is not knowing the value of having a network of friends that entertain aspects of her true self. She may enjoy having brunches and museum trips with her immediate circle, but is low key resentful that they won’t participate in drinks and hookah she occasionally likes to take part in to relax or have fun.
I truly believe it’s important everyone has a network, instead of a circle, of friends that align with the most enjoyed parts of themselves & interests. We are all multifaceted and it makes no sense to restrict or abandon parts of yourself or things you enjoy just to fit into a single group/lifestyle . Even an intelligent wealthy man takes a break from his elite circle to hang with boorish friends who drink beer & fish because that’s part of who he is. Sure you don’t want to get drunk or be at dusty clubs every weekend, but if you don’t mind heading out to dance & drink on occasion, have at least 2 friends who do that. If part of you likes spa days, museums and brunches, have a small group who does that. If you’d like a fitness buddy or to sit down and talk about career, business, financial or education goals, have friends who do that.
No group of friends are/will be similar to one another, you career & education oriented friends may be too busy or just not care about random spa days and museum trips, for example. The important thing is you have a wide network of friends that align with parts of your personality and interests so you can continue to learn more about & truly be yourself, instead of a restrictive persona you’ll eventually be bored of & resent.
The Art of Discretion: Mastering the Fine Line Between Tact and Truth
Discretion is the art of being subtle, tactful, and sensitive to the privacy of others. It is an important quality in many aspects of life, including personal relationships, professional situations, and social interactions. Here are some tips for mastering the art of discretion:
1 .Listen More Than You Speak: One of the key aspects of discretion is knowing when to speak and when to stay silent. Listen carefully to what others are saying and gauge the level of sensitivity around the topic. Avoid sharing confidential or sensitive information with others unless it is absolutely necessary.
2. Be Respectful of Others’ Privacy: Respecting the privacy of others is essential to mastering discretion. Avoid gossiping or sharing personal information about others, even if it may seem harmless. Keep information confidential unless you have explicit permission to share it.
3. Use Discretion When Posting on Social Media: Social media can be a breeding ground for oversharing and lack of discretion. Be mindful of the information you share on social media and how others may perceive it. Consider the potential consequences of sharing information before you post.
4 .Know When to Speak Up: Discretion is not always about staying silent. Sometimes, it is important to speak up in situations where someone’s safety or wellbeing is at risk. Use your judgment to determine when it is appropriate to speak up and when it is best to stay quiet.
5. Practice Empathy and Understanding: Practicing empathy and understanding is key to mastering the art of discretion. Try to see things from other people’s perspectives and understand how your actions and words may affect them. Be sensitive to their feelings and experiences.
In summary, mastering the art of discretion requires a combination of active listening, respect for others’ privacy, thoughtful social media use, knowing when to speak up, and practicing empathy and understanding. By focusing on these qualities, you can become a more discreet and thoughtful individual in all aspects of your life.