my phone at 8% but my pussy? Fully charged.

Yeah cus you never use it

It’s a portal

“You should not be.”

The fckn reverse naga made me laugh until my lungs collapsed.

@elodieunderglass

that’s magnificent, thank you so much

@king-monky

@king-monky

@cazador-red

Yeah

I woke up in a post-apocalyptic world where the sounds of guns firing was constant. Apparently, I’d been asleep for so long that humans had started to developed powers specific to each person. Two Hot Girls rescued me from inside a half-destroyed unearthed sewer and when they asked me to show them my power, I lied and said it was too powerful to ever use. They decided that I needed to be brought to the “Overlord” because of it. The Overlord lived in a multi story office building and it was the only non-destroyed place I saw. He turned out to be one of my friends, but he was furious because I had left and didn’t uphold a promise I made to him.

Buddy you just dreamed up the plot of an entire TV show

@starchygoodness

How are you going to look at this and tell me bears are real??