ʜ ʏ ᴘ ᴏ ᴄ ʀ ɪ ᴛ ᴇ

𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐆𝐎𝐃'𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐑                                                                         𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑻𝑾𝑰𝑪𝑬 𝑨𝑺 𝑺𝑯𝑰𝑵𝒀

-(anonymous)

“he’s a steal at only $49.95!” “i JUST. DROPPED. DEAD!” “how many times are they gonna play that ad?” “i don’t like it. and i’ll tell you why!” “relax, it’s just a toy!” “cabbage patch kids were just toys. and there were riots over those things. literal riots.” “i wanted a salad, but now i have a child.” “it’s just mania, ___. like a spell.” “you brother-in-law’s a bit of a scrooge, isn’t he?” “i’m done fucking things up. i just need this to work, okay?” “he invited you over! he wants you to be a part of his life!” “everything’s going to be okay. okay?” “it’s 6:30 in the morning..” “well, we haven’t put a label on it yet, so.” “i don’t really like getting hit by cars anymore.” “i do not get flashbacks! i remember bad things vividly.” “i didn’t do it for you.” “ski ball sucks!” “i’ll try to be quick so you can get the hell outta here.” “wow! great priorities, ___.” “i don’t have a drill press! and even if i did, HOW WOULD IT FIT IN THE SEDAN?” “you should have been in line last week.” “last christmas, this kid lost more than any kid deserves.” “this kid deserves to have one fucking things that he asked for.” “i will be goddamned if he does not have a merry fucking christmas. and a happy new year!” “anything he wants, he can have it.” “someone’s gotta pay for it.” “he used to like cars.” “i couldn’t hold him still to teach him guitar.” “all i need is some time.” “all i need is a break from the madness.” “after all, you’re my son..” “he still lights up a room.” “there’s no ending in sight.” “there’s nothing i can’t fix.” “i don’t say it enough.” “i’m scared you blame me for your luck.” “there’s no end to how much i love..” “i’d give up both of my arms to keep you on track.” “all i need is a smile.” “our lives have just begun.” “hey, does your mother know you smoke?” “how does it feel to be a role model?” “that’s not a very fair thing to say.” “school’s supposed to prepare you for the work place, and i have a job.” “yeah, well. if i don’t support my drinking habit, who will?” “you just gonna leave your car there?” “do you know why they call it black friday?” “well, well, well. hello, naughty list!” “you know, you got a real attitude problem.” “i know this is hard for you, but try to keep up.” “peace on earth and lots of money!” “we’ll see who’s laughin’ by the end of the day.” “hey, come on, it was just a goof!” “oh, i must have forgot ‘cause i’m so stupid!” “do i gotta put a leash on you like a dog or my cousin?” “oh great. now we gotta talk to the imaginary spider from outer space.” “can you translate? i don’t speak crazy.” “see this hat? it was gifted to me by a great warrior. don’t you fuckin’ laugh.” “i’d make a great dad, i’m just saying.” “SEVEN FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLARS?!” “MY MOM’S A BITCH!” “it beats being broke.” “that’s not how cameras work, babe.” “i’d say you did your best, but i’m not a liar.” “we get it ___, you’re a good speller!” “don’t write, don’t call, don’t ask.” “you’re not to step within a thousand feet of a cinnabon, ___!” “hold on, ___ is accosting me! YES, call the police!” “that’s called a bribe, sir, and it’s illegal! or it should be.” “do you really think your children are better than everyone else’s?” “i hope you don’t get a ___. i hope you FUCKING DIE.” “well, my children were accidents. you don’t see ME pushing my problems onto everyone else.” “they knew what was happening, they just.. didn’t care.” “oh stop crying, ___! i wasn’t talking to you!” “i think they dated in highschool.” “it’s called PTSD.” “what do you say when years have passed?” “oh my god, it’s a trainwreck!” “you don’t have half of a chance, bitch.” “i missed you.” “they still love eachother.” “only one of us is getting a steal.” “if you spend money, your kids will love you maybe.” “us capitalists, we are honest.” “we’re not liable for anyone who dies!” “i’ll gladly take your money now.” “your net worth is in my back pocket.” “give us your fucking money!” “you should be ashamed of yourself, you disgusting little pervert!” “I’M IN A HURRY!” “get ready for audits! audits up your ears! audits in your yin yang. audits in your wazoo!” “OOOH, RIGHT IN THE SUBPOENA!” “fuck you!!!” “show me the money, people!” “if he gets one, then i want four!” “it’s my fucking money to spend!” “you never should settle for a lifetime that is handed to you.” “there’s always a line to be cut and someone to barrel through.” “take what you want, return what you get.” “I’LL KILL YOU ALL!” “do you have a death wish?” “it’s all i need and all i came for.” “it’s something that i can’t resist.” “the price i pay will be discreet.” “this is not a type of place where you can haggle, sir.” “i’m gonna find you at school, cram you in a locket, and fart in it!” “ain’t you been told not to hang around this mall?” “i thought i could get us in.” “i know you’re nervous to leave home. but you gotta trust me. it’s gonna be so much better for you once you’re outta there.” “hey, what’s with that grammar? even i know it’s ‘more badder’.” “i’ll get you to california, ___. then you don’t gotta cry so much no more.” “give me the FUCKING DOLL, i’m in a hurry!” “no, i’m not frightened! i’m annoyed!” “*sobbing* I HAVE A HAIR APPOINTMENT TODAY!” “i have pepper spray and i use it more than you can ever imagine!” “i don’t know if you wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna wanna fuck with me!” “i wanna give you everything you ever desired!” “i want what everybody wants. to be loved. is that a crime?” “we all know that love is highly overrated!” “why should you give when you can get?” “YES I FUCKING SEE HIM!” “it’s a goddamn uprising is what it is!” “i need to understand what we’re dealing with here.” “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” “I ORDER YOU TO HAND ME THAT FUCKING DOLL!” “take one step closer to my friendy-wend and i’ll rip your fucking throat out with my teeth!” “YOU’LL BE SCRAPING WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR KIDS OFF THE FUCKIN’ PAVEMENT!” “hope you don’t mind if i let myself in.” “that was a joke, sir.” “behind the veil of the universe you perceive are entities both ageless and foul.” “you’re going to have to come with me.” “no need to raise the stakes.” “there are monsters that live in your head.” “there are forces in this world that mean you real harm.” “it is the monsters who should live in dread.” “look me in the eye now, sir!” “it must be you.”

“he’s got ice in his veins for a reason.” “what the fuck am i watching?” “you were stabbed.” “you’ll be alright, the knife missed your vital organs.” “___ used to say going to the movies was a waste of money.” “yeah. it’s.. a penis.” “if i could go back i would carve something nice.” “well, we thought it’d be forever.” “what’s goin’ on out there?” “if there’s even one left, i’m gonna find it.” “i killed my family.” “remember us in highschool? quarterback and cheer captain?” “after that, i didn’t go to any more parties.” “___ was a bad, bad man.” “people think he left me for some woman in another city.” “something about that woke something up inside of me.” “when we went our separate ways it was fine, because it was us. but who was he to keep us apart?” “that night, i fought back.” “he was the one who brought the knife.” “maybe he crawled somewhere for help. maybe he died in those woods.” “you’ve gotta forgive yourself. ‘cause if you don’t, how’s anyone ever gonna forgive me?” “you look just the same as i always remember.” “you and i were meant to be something more than a faded memory.” “there’s an alternate reality where we’re now a family.” “take me back when we were lost enough.” “i already lost it once.” “you were way more put together.” “if you asked me, i’d still go to prom with you.” “hold me closer than before.” “i’ve lost too much now to care.” “tell me something only santa would know!” “i knew it. i knew you weren’t santa.” “THIS IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER!” “physicist.. is that like a scientist?” “sorry, i’m really lost here.” “you wanna send me to the FUCKIN’ TWILIGHT ZONE?” “we are trying to stop the birth of a god.” “if we have faith, we will be rewarded with a cuddly toy!” “FUCKING KILL THEM!!!” “i dislike that word. cult. no, it’s a new exciting religion that i started!” “my first act as divine prophet was to set fire to the cinnabon as a sacrifice to a dark god!” “i’ve met god. he had nothing nice to say about you.” “bring me the child!” “jealousy has a bit of a stench.” “you will adore me, i just know.” “you’ll kneel before me.” “i demand your love and worship.” “i guarantee i will destroy everything in my path unless i get what i– shit.” “while i don’t want you to think for yourselves, i still want you to know what i mean when i say my evil shit, ‘kay?” “you know they’re coming for you!” “i swear on my own grave.” “well, ___ is a stupid bitch!” “i’m going to split you in two!” “i’m going to eat you right the fuck up!” “you can trust us. we’re good people!” “that’s an awful long way to go.” “you really are a fucking idiot, aren’t you?!” “do you want to play with me?” “oh god, i feel like i’m gonna puke.” “people don’t believe in governments anymore.” “the poor get poorer, and the rich–well, they just get richer.” “the people have been abandoned by everything!” “i can’t be evil! i’m a status quo democrat!” “do you think that in the netherlands they give a shit about some toy?” “your thirst for stuff is never slaked.” “i’m sorry, ___, i fucked it up!” “blow that bastard to kingdom come!” “MERRY CHRISTMAS, MOTHERFUCKER!” “it seems you’ve misplaced your bomby-wom!” “you better not be fucking with me.” “take me to the ponies and i’ll murder you later.” “is this what i lived for?” “you can close the casket now.” “i wasn’t the angel heaven-sent to break through my cliche boundaries.” “friday is black for me.” “the dreamer has dreamed her dream.” “i never even got started.” “were the decks always just this stacked?” “i don’t want your half-baked sympathy.” “i thought that angels did exist.” “did i need her more than she needed me?” “maybe i’m wrong.” “you’re not dead yet.” “i am authorizing you to use my firearm.” “it’s time to lead the pack.” “i can show you the path, but only you can walk it.” “where did that come from?” “the leaders of your world are lost and helpless.” “wake the warrior. kill the prophet. save the world.” “i hope they didn’t tow my car. that’d be just my luck.” “what, are you gonna shoot me?” “i’ve had a shitty day and i’d appreciate it if you got that goddamn gun outta my face!” “kids don’t want that piece of shit! they’re all into fortnite, dude!” “that’s something you want. not your son.” “he promises to fix all of the holes. but he doesn’t.” “you’re like 40, you probably think your life is over!” “___ is a fucking lie, and i think you know it!” “if he’s not the answer, then what is?” “what is this thing in my hand?” “my heart is so empty.” “everyone’s dying, and that includes me too.” “there’s no pain that could ever explain how i let you down.” “i failed you once, and i will fail again.” “deep down, it didn’t matter–i was with him.” “she liked to loosen me up just to get to my heart.” “you’re not that cute, are you? in fact, you’re real fuckin’ ugly.” “i think i’m awake.” “here, you’re holdin’ that wrong.” “i’m not going to put you on speaker, ___, no one wants to talk to you!” “belittling you isn’t fun if you’re not upset.” “huh. she’s drunk. again!” “answer me or i’ll open your mouth with my FUCKING KNIFE!” “you’re a fucking moron!” “when he comes, he’ll come for us.” “___, you pathetic worm!” “you couldn’t even stand up to your disgusting husband!” “look at you, you’re paralyzed with fear!” “i’m just lining up my shot.” “abandon your god or burn here with him!” “the whole world has gone crazy!” “all he wanted was you.” “where can we go? is anyplace safe?” “you know? i have this kooky, reclusive biology professor..” “what am i supposed to do without my iphone?” “wear a watch.” “if we can survive today, we can survive anything.” “do you all see what i see?” “tomorrow will come. tomorrow won’t come.” “will tomorrow come today?” “what if tomorrow comes?” “15 seconds left.”

       "Are you comparing me to a mime, Miss Quinn? How could you be so cruel?” Jeremiah pressed a hand to his chest in mock-offense, even as a smile lit up his face. “And for your information, I do get out sometimes. Like, say, to the beach? This Saturday? With a picnic lunch?”

Her voice cut off, a mildly excited look on her face. “Wait, forreal? Like, ditch this place for a day? You’re really up for that?”