she's not a saint and she's not what you think

❝   that's   disgusting.   i'm   so   sorry.   ❞   lennon   didn't   have   any   experience   in   that   side   of   the   entertainment   business,   but   the   band   was   doing   the   music   for   the   same   movie   lily   was   auditioning   for,   and   she   was   starting   to   see   just   how   icky   it   all   was.   ❝   i   don't   think   they   care.   ❞   she   says   with   a   sigh.   ❝   men   like   that...   they're   used   to   getting   what   they   want.   it's   sickening.   are   you   alright?   ❞

lily typically likes to stick for stage over screen, but she had gotten an offer to audition, and she had been considering the movie. it was a musical after all. she just hadn't been expecting the metaphorical casting couch treatment.    ❝    i know my mother always told me at least i'm pretty but...    ❞    yes pretty can get you everywhere. she's seen it over the years. but there's a line. and this is not one she'd ever been nor ever will be willing to cross.    ❝    it's genuinely sick.    ❞    she shakes her head with a sigh.    ❝    i'm not giving anyone anything i don't want to. i can't say i think i'll say yes even if i do get the offer from the cds.    ❞    after the brush off, she doubts she'll be getting the offer, but who knows, that man wasn't the only one in the room.

seeing   her   cry   breaks   his   heart.   ❝   i'm   not   running,   lily.   not   now,   not   ever.   ❞   he   doesn't   know   whether   he   should   take   another   step   forward.   he   wants   to   wipe   the   tears   from   her   eyes,   kiss   her   forehead,   and   reassure   her   that   he   isn't   going   anywhere,   but   he   doesn't   want   to   set   her   off.   ❝   so,   don't   run   from   me,   either,   okay?   can   i   hug   you?   ❞

    ❝    it's not that i want to go-    ❞    she tells him, blonde hair falling into her face that she would normally immediately go to fix as her head drops.    ❝    i'm a little screwed up is all.    ❞    and recent events- recent developments maybe- at home have sent her into a bit of a tailspin.    ❝    you can touch me-    ❞    she agrees, though it takes a few moments, as she looks up at him through a stifled expression of whatever this pain is.

❝   ahh.   ❞   she   says,   nodding   her   head.   she   probably   should   have   known.   she   hadn't   seen   the   girl   in   the   dorms,   but   then,   that   didn't   mean   much.   she'd   been   spending   most   of   her   time   getting   to   know   aubrey   now   that   they   were   able   to   hang   out   in   person.   it   was   nice   having   family   that   actually   acted   like   they   liked   her.   ❝   there   is   a   daycare   on   site,   just   so   you   know.   unless   you're   just   supposed   to   watch   them   so   they   don't   fall   in   the   pool   or   something.   but   aubrey   is   lifeguarding,   she   won't   let   that   happen   anyway.   ❞

    ❝    do i look like i work here?    ❞    she can't help but ask. the thoughts win there, over her typical desire to stay on top. appear like she has it all together.    ❝    oh i don't think my stepmom wants the little one in daycare all day. just doesn't want her unsupervised, that's all. parents just- need adult time-    ❞    she shakes her head.    ❝    aubrey's your friend?    ❞    confirmatory question, though she has no real reason to ask it. just curiosity she supposes. lily sure hopes the lifeguard wouldn't be letting little kids drown.

she   listens   to   the   blonde,   nodding   her   head.   she   can't   help   but   feel   weird   about   this   situation.   ricky's   ex...   she's   trying   her   best   to   keep   her   composure,   dipping   into   the   princess   side   of   her   brain   instead   of   the   college   freshman   part   that   has   been   so   in   the   forefront   the   past   few   months.   she   knows   lily   is   probably   right   about   ricky   needing   to   go   over   and   say   hi   to   red,   but   with   her   hand   around   his   bicep,   he's   not   exactly   making   any   move   to   leave.   she   has   to   remind   herself   that   this   is   no   big   deal.   she's   spoken   before   thousands   of   people,   stood   in   front   of   parliament   and   spoke   as   the   princess   who   would   lead   her   country   one   day.   she   looks   up   at   ricky,   bright   smile   on   her   lips.   ❝   go   see   him.   i'll   find   you   soon.   ❞   she   says,   lifting   up   on   tiptoes   to   press   a   kiss   to   his   cheek.

attention   turns   back   to   lily   once   she   confirms   with   ricky   that   she'll   be   fine.   they're   still   in   the   same   room,   after   all.   ❝   nothing   to   figure   out,   promise.   people   always   tell   me   i   look   like   that   actress   from   the   seventies   that   did   all   the   bloody   horror   movies.   ❞   she   says,   shrugging   her   shoulders.   it   wasn't   a   lie;   she   had   been   told   that   before.   ❝   thank   you.   ❞   she   says,   smoothing   down   the   fabric,   soft   smile   on   her   lips.   ❝   i   don't   think   it's   boring.   it's   what   we   all   want   to   do   with   our   lives,   right?   i'm   a   business-history   double   major,   but   i'm   taking   a   few   theatre   courses   first.   getting   those   electives   out   of   the   way   and   easing   into   being   in   a   real   school   environment...   what   about   you?   what   are   you   studying?   what   interests   you?   ❞   she   asks,   happy   to   be   shifting   the   conversation   away   from   her   familiarity   in   looks.

    ❝    i promise i don't bite-    ❞    lily laughs, a somehow easy smile on her lips as ricky walks away, giving her a little wave of acknowledgement as he goes off to say hello to red.    ❝    i could see that    ❞    she proffers. it's becoming obvious the other girl does not want to get into that. which honestly makes lily more curious rather than less, but so be it. she'll let her have this one.    ❝    i mean- want to do with our lives really depends on the person. i don't think anyone on this planet dreams of being an accountant. but i've known a million finance majors.    ❞    she screws up her face just briefly at the thought of accounting, before shifting.    ❝    okay- she's an actress! you know i'm actually doing a bfa in new york for musical theatre.    ❞    she tells her with a smile that's endlessly more genuine.    ❝    sounds like maybe the accountants aren't the only ones not focusing on their dreams.    ❞    she hums.    ❝    business and history though- what kind of history are you interested in?    ❞    double majoring like that just feels like a lot of classes to lily. especially when you'll probably end up using one or the other and not both.

❝     i     just...     love     him.     but     i     also     love     that     i     still     have     butterflies     when     he     first     walks     in     a     room.     i     don't     want     that     to     ever     go     away.     ❞     she     says,     smile     on     her     lips.     nini     loved     being     in     love.     ❝     oh.     well,     good.     i'd     hate     to     be     annoying.     ❞     she     says,     her     soft     smile     staying     firmly     in     place     on     her     lips.     ❝     you     really     were     born     for     the     stage,     lily.     the     spotlight,     maybe     more     correctly.     i     think     you     would     excel     in     anything     you     wanted     to     do     just     because     you     want     it     bad     enough.     ❞     lily     was     so     talented.     nini     knew     she     could     do     anything     she     set     her     mind     to     with     ease.     

    ❝    you don't want it to ever be ordinary, i definitely understand that    ❞    even if maybe in a different sort of way. lily nods, before pursing her lips.    ❝    it's nice seeing you happy. you deserve this.    ❞    and honestly, she means that. nini does deserve to be happy with ricky. to be happy in general. this girl's gone through more than most people would realize.    ❝    that really means a lot.    ❞    and it does. this career is all she wants. she wants to prove herself so bad. she's hungry- and you can't fake that.    ❝    i never want to come off desperate but, you're right. i'm so driven because this is my life, you know? i'm sure you get that. you're so talented, nini. and i never just say that. i have a feeling we're going to keep ending up in some of the same rooms in years to come.    ❞    

nini     can't     help     but     blush     at     lily's     comment.     she     and     ricky     had     gotten     to     spend     the     night     in     the     hideaway     and     she     was     on     cloud     nine.     it     was     evident     on     her     face     just     how     happy     she     was.     she     knew     everyone     else     could     tell     she     and     ricky     had     not     just     been     talking     all     night     and     that     was     a     little     embarrassing,     especially     when     this     girl     was     his     ex-girlfriend.     his     first     love.     that     was     nerve-wracking.     ❝     a     very     good     time,     yeah.     this     has     been     the     weirdest     experience     but...     i     think     i'm     falling     in     love.     ❞     a     weird     conversation     to     be     having     with     ricky's     ex,     to     be     sure,     but     she     can't     help     but     share     her     joy.     ❝     are     you,     um...     are     you     alright?     ❞

when lily showed up as a bombshell on love island, she wasn't exactly expecting to be faced with her ex boyfriend. that being said- that's just the kind of shit that the producers love to do on this show, isn't it? throwing people into messy situations, creating even more tension with the 'existing' couples in the villa. couple usually being a strong word for some of these dynamics. at this point, lily's pretty sure she and ricky are... on even ground.    ❝    well good. and you're welcome    ❞    she teases a bit further with a giggle, smiling as she nudges nini's shoulder, sitting next to her on the balcony overlooking the backyard.

    ❝    that sounds really great. things are so weird in here, but- everything feels faster when you're around each other 24/7 right? it's even more than when we were in school-    ❞    that was just 8-4... this is all hours of the day and night. at nini's concern, she's quick to brush it off. she really isn't butthurt over any of this.    ❝    i'm fine, i promise    ❞    she laughs, shaking her head.    ❝    it's like i told you before after i pulled him my first day here... we just needed to have a talk. he's a great guy, i'm happy you're happy. i think now we both know it's over between us, for good.    ❞    maybe not as messy as the producers were hoping for, aside for night one's gossip, but lily wasn't throwing a drink in anyone's face.

❝   are   you   working   at   the   resort   this   summer?   ❞   milly   asks,   tilting   her   head   to   the   side.   she   was   here   for   the   first   time   and   as   much   as   she   presented   herself   with   confidence,   she   was   anxious   about   disappointing   her   mother.

    ❝    no-    ❞    lily shakes her head, scrunching her face, confused to be asked. does she look so out of place?    ❝    i mean i'm probably going to be babysitting but i'm not working here. my family's on vacation.    ❞    this is different from their normal summer cabin in wyoming, but it was supposed to be fun, not work. but now lily's mentally evaluating the clothes she packed.

OLIVIA ROSE KEEGAN as Sara (Campbell)

OLIVIA ROSE KEEGAN

i grabbed these for a different reason and omg oliv.ia ro.se keeg.an seems so little here (she was 16). but- this was from d.ays of o.ur liv.es and i just-