damned stork

@shax-attacx

104 posts

*general noises of discontent and anger and evil*

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thedemon-crowley

*Sneaking into the "traitor's" house really ought to warrant being quiet, or at least sneaky. Unfortunately, @shax-attacx is rather one track mind right now, and is being neither quiet nor sneaky.

(The pink note was slipped amongst the plants by Eric earlier, shh!)*

*Crowley appears in the doorway, armed with a plant mister*

What are you doing here?! I thought you were lurking outside the bookshop!

*She jumps, keeping a very close eye on that plant mister.*

I'm - on an assignment. Yeah. That. This is for work. I still have to do my job. Where are you plants?

thedemon-crowley

*He narrows his eyes*

Wouldn’t you like to know? I wasn’t born yesterday - tell me why you’re actually here!

*She hesitates for a moment, looking around as if making sure no one else is there.*

This is - technically - an assignment. Just... not for work.

*She pulls out the two notes, both on pink paper, stamped with the King's sigil, and scented with her perfume.*

thedemon-crowley

*He looks at them for a while and sighs before handing them back*

If anyone asks, I wasn’t home, alright? You didn’t see me, this conversation never happened. Agree? *He holds his free hand out to shake*

Agreed.

*She shakes his hand, before putting the notes away.*

Seriously, though, where are your plants? She mentioned them, or at least, I assume that's what "the Serpent's Eden" means.

thedemon-crowley

Come with me.

*he motions for her to follow and heads towards the plant room*

I have to say…seems terribly out of character for Abigail, all this…

*There. Not quite interrupting the prank in any meaningful way, but not saying nothing either!*

*She follows him through his flat.*

Well, perhaps she is trying something new. Or maybe you don't know her as well as you think.

*It's rather easy to spot the bright pink paper amidst all the greenery, and she snatches up the third note quickly.*

thedemon-crowley

*He looks at her VERY POINTEDLY over his sunglasses*

I highly doubt that. But *shrug* it’s your funeral.

*He goes about misting his plants and looking disinterested*

What does it say then?

*She opens the note, reading over it, blushing, and then showing it to Crowley.

In neat, curly writing is the following note:*

"Now, dear, I must ask you to instead head to the safest place there is; get to the home of your ruler, and do so promptly."

thedemon-crowley

*He scoffs*

I refuse to believe Abigail would write that. I don’t know what you’re getting all giddy for, I really have my doubts.

It has her sigil. And it's her handwriting. Who else could it possibly be?

thedemon-crowley

*He holds his hands up, shrugging*

Forgery is popular in Hell, you know this. Anyway, it’s not my business. Frankly, I just want you to get out of my flat and away from the bookshop. It’s like having a demonic chaperone.

The King’s sigil can not be forged. And who would be stupid enough to forge her writing?

I'm leaving, now, I'll be out of your stupid hair before you even notice. Hmph.

thedemon-crowley

*He makes a face and half-heartedly sprays her with water*

Piss off, then. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

*She shrieks at the spray of water, then hisses at him when she realizes it's normal water.*

You're an arse and I don't know why the King likes you.

*She stomps out with a huff.*

thedemon-crowley

*Sneaking into the "traitor's" house really ought to warrant being quiet, or at least sneaky. Unfortunately, @shax-attacx is rather one track mind right now, and is being neither quiet nor sneaky.

(The pink note was slipped amongst the plants by Eric earlier, shh!)*

*Crowley appears in the doorway, armed with a plant mister*

What are you doing here?! I thought you were lurking outside the bookshop!

*She jumps, keeping a very close eye on that plant mister.*

I'm - on an assignment. Yeah. That. This is for work. I still have to do my job. Where are you plants?

thedemon-crowley

*He narrows his eyes*

Wouldn’t you like to know? I wasn’t born yesterday - tell me why you’re actually here!

*She hesitates for a moment, looking around as if making sure no one else is there.*

This is - technically - an assignment. Just... not for work.

*She pulls out the two notes, both on pink paper, stamped with the King's sigil, and scented with her perfume.*

thedemon-crowley

*He looks at them for a while and sighs before handing them back*

If anyone asks, I wasn’t home, alright? You didn’t see me, this conversation never happened. Agree? *He holds his free hand out to shake*

Agreed.

*She shakes his hand, before putting the notes away.*

Seriously, though, where are your plants? She mentioned them, or at least, I assume that's what "the Serpent's Eden" means.

thedemon-crowley

Come with me.

*he motions for her to follow and heads towards the plant room*

I have to say…seems terribly out of character for Abigail, all this…

*There. Not quite interrupting the prank in any meaningful way, but not saying nothing either!*

*She follows him through his flat.*

Well, perhaps she is trying something new. Or maybe you don't know her as well as you think.

*It's rather easy to spot the bright pink paper amidst all the greenery, and she snatches up the third note quickly.*

thedemon-crowley

*He looks at her VERY POINTEDLY over his sunglasses*

I highly doubt that. But *shrug* it’s your funeral.

*He goes about misting his plants and looking disinterested*

What does it say then?

*She opens the note, reading over it, blushing, and then showing it to Crowley.

In neat, curly writing is the following note:*

"Now, dear, I must ask you to instead head to the safest place there is; get to the home of your ruler, and do so promptly."

thedemon-crowley

*He scoffs*

I refuse to believe Abigail would write that. I don’t know what you’re getting all giddy for, I really have my doubts.

It has her sigil. And it's her handwriting. Who else could it possibly be?

thedemon-crowley

*He holds his hands up, shrugging*

Forgery is popular in Hell, you know this. Anyway, it’s not my business. Frankly, I just want you to get out of my flat and away from the bookshop. It’s like having a demonic chaperone.

The King’s sigil can not be forged. And who would be stupid enough to forge her writing?

I'm leaving, now, I'll be out of your stupid hair before you even notice. Hmph.

thedemon-crowley

*Sneaking into the "traitor's" house really ought to warrant being quiet, or at least sneaky. Unfortunately, @shax-attacx is rather one track mind right now, and is being neither quiet nor sneaky.

(The pink note was slipped amongst the plants by Eric earlier, shh!)*

*Crowley appears in the doorway, armed with a plant mister*

What are you doing here?! I thought you were lurking outside the bookshop!

*She jumps, keeping a very close eye on that plant mister.*

I'm - on an assignment. Yeah. That. This is for work. I still have to do my job. Where are you plants?

thedemon-crowley

*He narrows his eyes*

Wouldn’t you like to know? I wasn’t born yesterday - tell me why you’re actually here!

*She hesitates for a moment, looking around as if making sure no one else is there.*

This is - technically - an assignment. Just... not for work.

*She pulls out the two notes, both on pink paper, stamped with the King's sigil, and scented with her perfume.*

thedemon-crowley

*He looks at them for a while and sighs before handing them back*

If anyone asks, I wasn’t home, alright? You didn’t see me, this conversation never happened. Agree? *He holds his free hand out to shake*

Agreed.

*She shakes his hand, before putting the notes away.*

Seriously, though, where are your plants? She mentioned them, or at least, I assume that's what "the Serpent's Eden" means.

thedemon-crowley

Come with me.

*he motions for her to follow and heads towards the plant room*

I have to say…seems terribly out of character for Abigail, all this…

*There. Not quite interrupting the prank in any meaningful way, but not saying nothing either!*

*She follows him through his flat.*

Well, perhaps she is trying something new. Or maybe you don't know her as well as you think.

*It's rather easy to spot the bright pink paper amidst all the greenery, and she snatches up the third note quickly.*

thedemon-crowley

*He looks at her VERY POINTEDLY over his sunglasses*

I highly doubt that. But *shrug* it’s your funeral.

*He goes about misting his plants and looking disinterested*

What does it say then?

*She opens the note, reading over it, blushing, and then showing it to Crowley.

In neat, curly writing is the following note:*

"Now, dear, I must ask you to instead head to the safest place there is; get to the home of your ruler, and do so promptly."

thedemon-crowley

*He scoffs*

I refuse to believe Abigail would write that. I don’t know what you’re getting all giddy for, I really have my doubts.

It has her sigil. And it's her handwriting. Who else could it possibly be?

thedemon-crowley

*Sneaking into the "traitor's" house really ought to warrant being quiet, or at least sneaky. Unfortunately, @shax-attacx is rather one track mind right now, and is being neither quiet nor sneaky.

(The pink note was slipped amongst the plants by Eric earlier, shh!)*

*Crowley appears in the doorway, armed with a plant mister*

What are you doing here?! I thought you were lurking outside the bookshop!

*She jumps, keeping a very close eye on that plant mister.*

I'm - on an assignment. Yeah. That. This is for work. I still have to do my job. Where are you plants?

thedemon-crowley

*He narrows his eyes*

Wouldn’t you like to know? I wasn’t born yesterday - tell me why you’re actually here!

*She hesitates for a moment, looking around as if making sure no one else is there.*

This is - technically - an assignment. Just... not for work.

*She pulls out the two notes, both on pink paper, stamped with the King's sigil, and scented with her perfume.*

thedemon-crowley

*He looks at them for a while and sighs before handing them back*

If anyone asks, I wasn’t home, alright? You didn’t see me, this conversation never happened. Agree? *He holds his free hand out to shake*

Agreed.

*She shakes his hand, before putting the notes away.*

Seriously, though, where are your plants? She mentioned them, or at least, I assume that's what "the Serpent's Eden" means.

thedemon-crowley

Come with me.

*he motions for her to follow and heads towards the plant room*

I have to say…seems terribly out of character for Abigail, all this…

*There. Not quite interrupting the prank in any meaningful way, but not saying nothing either!*

*She follows him through his flat.*

Well, perhaps she is trying something new. Or maybe you don't know her as well as you think.

*It's rather easy to spot the bright pink paper amidst all the greenery, and she snatches up the third note quickly.*

thedemon-crowley

*He looks at her VERY POINTEDLY over his sunglasses*

I highly doubt that. But *shrug* it’s your funeral.

*He goes about misting his plants and looking disinterested*

What does it say then?

*She opens the note, reading over it, blushing, and then showing it to Crowley.

In neat, curly writing is the following note:*

"Now, dear, I must ask you to instead head to the safest place there is; get to the home of your ruler, and do so promptly."

•18+ Adults Only

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

thedemon-crowley

*Sneaking into the "traitor's" house really ought to warrant being quiet, or at least sneaky. Unfortunately, @shax-attacx is rather one track mind right now, and is being neither quiet nor sneaky.

(The pink note was slipped amongst the plants by Eric earlier, shh!)*

*Crowley appears in the doorway, armed with a plant mister*

What are you doing here?! I thought you were lurking outside the bookshop!

*She jumps, keeping a very close eye on that plant mister.*

I'm - on an assignment. Yeah. That. This is for work. I still have to do my job. Where are you plants?

thedemon-crowley

*He narrows his eyes*

Wouldn’t you like to know? I wasn’t born yesterday - tell me why you’re actually here!

*She hesitates for a moment, looking around as if making sure no one else is there.*

This is - technically - an assignment. Just... not for work.

*She pulls out the two notes, both on pink paper, stamped with the King's sigil, and scented with her perfume.*

thedemon-crowley

*He looks at them for a while and sighs before handing them back*

If anyone asks, I wasn’t home, alright? You didn’t see me, this conversation never happened. Agree? *He holds his free hand out to shake*

Agreed.

*She shakes his hand, before putting the notes away.*

Seriously, though, where are your plants? She mentioned them, or at least, I assume that's what "the Serpent's Eden" means.

thedemon-crowley

Come with me.

*he motions for her to follow and heads towards the plant room*

I have to say…seems terribly out of character for Abigail, all this…

*There. Not quite interrupting the prank in any meaningful way, but not saying nothing either!*

*She follows him through his flat.*

Well, perhaps she is trying something new. Or maybe you don't know her as well as you think.

*It's rather easy to spot the bright pink paper amidst all the greenery, and she snatches up the third note quickly.*

thedemon-crowley

*Sneaking into the "traitor's" house really ought to warrant being quiet, or at least sneaky. Unfortunately, @shax-attacx is rather one track mind right now, and is being neither quiet nor sneaky.

(The pink note was slipped amongst the plants by Eric earlier, shh!)*

*Crowley appears in the doorway, armed with a plant mister*

What are you doing here?! I thought you were lurking outside the bookshop!

*She jumps, keeping a very close eye on that plant mister.*

I'm - on an assignment. Yeah. That. This is for work. I still have to do my job. Where are you plants?

thedemon-crowley

*He narrows his eyes*

Wouldn’t you like to know? I wasn’t born yesterday - tell me why you’re actually here!

*She hesitates for a moment, looking around as if making sure no one else is there.*

This is - technically - an assignment. Just... not for work.

*She pulls out the two notes, both on pink paper, stamped with the King's sigil, and scented with her perfume.*

thedemon-crowley

*He looks at them for a while and sighs before handing them back*

If anyone asks, I wasn’t home, alright? You didn’t see me, this conversation never happened. Agree? *He holds his free hand out to shake*

Agreed.

*She shakes his hand, before putting the notes away.*

Seriously, though, where are your plants? She mentioned them, or at least, I assume that's what "the Serpent's Eden" means.

thedemon-crowley

*Sneaking into the "traitor's" house really ought to warrant being quiet, or at least sneaky. Unfortunately, @shax-attacx is rather one track mind right now, and is being neither quiet nor sneaky.

(The pink note was slipped amongst the plants by Eric earlier, shh!)*

*Crowley appears in the doorway, armed with a plant mister*

What are you doing here?! I thought you were lurking outside the bookshop!

*She jumps, keeping a very close eye on that plant mister.*

I'm - on an assignment. Yeah. That. This is for work. I still have to do my job. Where are you plants?

thedemon-crowley

*He narrows his eyes*

Wouldn’t you like to know? I wasn’t born yesterday - tell me why you’re actually here!

*She hesitates for a moment, looking around as if making sure no one else is there.*

This is - technically - an assignment. Just... not for work.

*She pulls out the two notes, both on pink paper, stamped with the King's sigil, and scented with her perfume.*

thedemon-crowley

*Sneaking into the "traitor's" house really ought to warrant being quiet, or at least sneaky. Unfortunately, @shax-attacx is rather one track mind right now, and is being neither quiet nor sneaky.

(The pink note was slipped amongst the plants by Eric earlier, shh!)*

*Crowley appears in the doorway, armed with a plant mister*

What are you doing here?! I thought you were lurking outside the bookshop!

*She jumps, keeping a very close eye on that plant mister.*

I'm - on an assignment. Yeah. That. This is for work. I still have to do my job. Where are you plants?

*Another pink note, this one slipped gingerly between the wooden planks of the gazebo. It reads as follows.*

Now that I have you here, I must ask you to instead head to the Serpent's Eden.

*It is once again stamped with the King’s sigil and sprayed with her perfume.*

*It takes her more time than she would admit to figure out what a gazebo is. When she does finally find it, it then takes even longer to find the next note. She could have sworn she'd already searched the whole thing, but she must have just missed it earlier.*

The Serpent’s Eden??? What on Earth would that snake have that - his plants!

This place must be too out in the open. And he did say he's friends with the King... she must be using his flat as a more private meeting place.

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*A note - pink paper, sprayed with perfume (that Eric nabbed from Abby's office, but shh!) - appears. It reads as follows.*

Shax. Meet me at the gazebo is Battersea Park.

*There is no signature, but the stationary is labelled with the King's sigil, and the handwriting appears to be hers.*

*She's spellbound for a moment, just staring at the piece of paper. Then she leaps up, the bush she'd been hiding in vanishing as she began to run down the street.*

Out of my way! I have to find a park! What's a gazebo?

#dungeons & dragons is perfect for @shax-attacx

gavotte-paradisio

@shax-attacx does Shax know what d&d is and what is her opinion on it?

What on earth (I assume it is an Earth thing?) is that?

Chava leans on the bookshop wall.

Not a great place for midday lurk.

@urban-eden-somewhat-official

'm not lurking. I'm waiting. It's different.

theangel-aziraphale

Well. It's not Asmodeus or Lucifer either.

For the record I haven’t kissed Asmodeus. But Lucifer, yes I have… done that. Ahem and more, sorry so all that leaves is Shax?

*He looks out of his window to see if it is in fact Shax *

*It is in fact Shax. Who is unaware she's being very obvious.*

theangel-aziraphale

*He looks disgruntled at her but… she’s not hurting anyone… yet.*

*She's got a pair of sunglasses on and has, for some reason, miracled shrubbery to hide in.*

theangel-aziraphale

*He does have to admire her commitment to the outlandishly cartoonish display… He does consider going out there and asking her what exactly shes doing, but he didn’t want to blow her cover.

If she is in fact feeling some sort of crush on Abigail he wouldn’t want to embarrass her further… but perhaps it’s better if he gets involved… he’ll have to mull it over a cup of tea.*

*The current running tally is:

Hiding in a bush.

With giant sunglasses on.

And holding a newspaper with two holes cut out of it.

She doesn't even have a way of knowing if the King is on Earth.*

theangel-aziraphale

Well. It's not Asmodeus or Lucifer either.

For the record I haven’t kissed Asmodeus. But Lucifer, yes I have… done that. Ahem and more, sorry so all that leaves is Shax?

*He looks out of his window to see if it is in fact Shax *

*It is in fact Shax. Who is unaware she's being very obvious.*

theangel-aziraphale

*He looks disgruntled at her but… she’s not hurting anyone… yet.*

*She's got a pair of sunglasses on and has, for some reason, miracled shrubbery to hide in.*

•18+ Adults Only

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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theangel-aziraphale

Well. It's not Asmodeus or Lucifer either.

For the record I haven’t kissed Asmodeus. But Lucifer, yes I have… done that. Ahem and more, sorry so all that leaves is Shax?

*He looks out of his window to see if it is in fact Shax *

*It is in fact Shax. Who is unaware she's being very obvious.*

thedemon-crowley

I need to make it horribly, wretchedly clear that you are not my type.

@shax-attacx

Nor are you mine, but what a HILARIOUS conclusion for Aziraphale to come to.

The King is much smarter than you are.

thedemon-crowley

I’d say she’s smarter than you, too, but that’s not overly difficult.

She is the King, it's her job to be smarter than the rest of us.

thedemon-crowley

It’s her job to make you think she is, at least. She’s doing a cracking job as King though. First stroke of luck Hell’s had in…well. Ever.

I don't know how we got so lucky.

*Her words say "we," but the dreamy look in her eyes says another story.*

thedemon-crowley

I do. Enchanted necklace, and a bit of meddling from Aziraphale.

Hmph. I guess so. That's less fun than wondering, though.

thedemon-crowley

Is it less fun than asking her for the full story? Y’know, oh I heard you became King because of cursed jewellery, what was that all about?

Can I - do that? Just walk up to her and start talking? Is that allowed? She's still the King of Hell, she's rather busy!

thedemon-crowley

And yet she finds time to have a social life on Earth - something else you could ask her about, she knows a lot - and fulfill her duties as Supreme Archangel.

I’m sure she’d be more than willing to squeeze in a chat with an employee.

You make it sound so simple. Beelzebub always has flies near the throne room, and I don't know where her office is. And it's not as if I can just stop her in the halls in front of everyone.

And, alright, I suppose I am on Earth most of the time, doing... whatever this is that isn't quite tempting because the humans do it themselves. But I don't know when she's on Earth.

thedemon-crowley

So send her a memo! Have Eric deliver it!

Well, she’s usually around the bookshop. You’re still banned, of course, but there’s nothing to say you couldn’t bump into her outside. Not literally. Don’t crash into her. Or do! I’ve seen that in films.

Hm. That's not an awful plan.

*There's a cough that maybe, vaguely, could sound like a thank you.*

#//I do hope you understand that you've volunteered to have a demon snooping around the bookshop for an indeterminate amount of time

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