I Was Just Curious

He needed a goddamn pay day. Course, Marks was a stickler-- he didn't pay until Aaron sold every ounce he peddled. Sure, Aaron had the money, all wadded up and secured with a rubber band, hidden in a sock, stuffed in the third drawer of his desk. But that money wasn't really his. He didn't get the cut until the job was done.

He had two ounces left to sell. Two ounces. Nothing. A bit of powder on French Toast. But he was having some issues, for some reason.

He hit up the bar. He needed some liquid charm to slake down his prickly edges.

Someone called his name.

Aaron raised his eyebrows-- twisting 'round and spotting Luca, of all people. What were they doing in a place like this? Something about it felt weird, but then, Luca kept popping up in places they shouldn't be. Like on that rowing machine that was clearly too advanced for them.

Still. It was good to see them.

He smiled easy, the expression helped by the tequila he just knocked back. "Hey man, what's up?" He held out his hand to dap Luca up.

They really wanted a drink.

It took a little concentration, but they matched Aaron's gesture as best they could, smiling a little bit to themself when they didn't completely mess it up.

"Nothing really, I was just - oh good."

The bartender eyed Luca slightly suspiciously as they set down the clear shot. The bottle it came from had been nearly untouched because the alcohol was such a high proof, but it was the best chance Luca had since they couldn't ask for the fairy alcohol. Quickly, they knocked the whole shot back in one go. It burned a little as it went down, all taste swallowed up by the alcohol. But it tasted of something after all.

"Another of those please."

There was a slight moment of hesitation before he poured another shot in front of Luca.

Almost like when he was flying, the world beneath him nothing at all. Everything felt good. And then he came back to reality rather abruptly when Luca started to cough.

Oh no. "Oh... oh yeah okay water," Taehyun agreed, gently reaching out to grab Luca's arm and guide him back toward the bar. "Sir a water please! Immediately!" He hoped that he could get it to Luca quickly enough.

"I'm so sorry. I got too excited. I should've... I don't know. Water's coming, I promise."

Almost instantly, they could feel the salt and herbs flow down their throat, relaxing it slightly.

But when the bartender came over with the water, Luca quickly drained half the glass, feeling the way the water flushed through their system. It didn't change the way their sides hurt, and they could still feel the slight drag to their lungs as they breathed, but at least they weren't coughing.

"It - I was doing okay, and then it was the perfume. The dancing part was fun though! You're a great dancer."

Because, really, that was the problem with Jesse. He didn't think about the fall out from the things he did. He just... acted without thinking. It was what had landed him in Swynlake in the first place. A need to fast track his own dreams that had its own set of consequences he hadn't accounted for.

"It's not that simple." He sighed, throwing the dart and watching it thud dully against the canvas. "There's stuff there that I don't wanna mess with. Things are good. They were good. They won't be if we talk about it. I dunno if they will be after."

After all, those were really the two options. Either face it or run away. Even ignoring it was simply a different sort of facing it if it meant he still talked to them. It would just linger.

"You already said you talked about it with Sid. Tae was there. That means everyone involved knows it happened. You're the only one who can say what you want to do about it. Sometimes things are that simple, even if the simple thing is hard and scary."

They'd nearly forgotten about the dart in their hand and threw it carelessly, watching the slow puncture of a blue balloon as the paint began to seep everywhere. "But we don't have to keep talking about it if you don't want to. I just want to make sure that you're happy. That you have your people who make you happy. That's all."

"Please... say somethin', Luca. Yous scarin' me."

In all the time they'd known Luca, they'd never been this quiet. It was unnerving and Jesse hated it. This... whatever it was, didn't matter to Jesse. He couldn't care less if Luca was really some sea creature. They were still his friend. They'd been there when others hadn't been.

It was the wrong question. They knew it was soon as the words slipped out of their mouth. It was silly and it meant nothing and it had nothing to do with everything Jesse was just saying.

But at the same time, it was the only question that mattered. Because Luca had lied, over and over again. They'd claimed to be something they weren't, said they had magic that wasn't exactly the truth, and even now they couldn't seem to figure out where the waves of their emotions would settle.

They just didn't want Jesse to be mad at them on top of everything else. It all hurt too much.

And Sid... Jesse wasn't sure he wanted to look too closely at that. He didn't want what they had to change. He was comfortable with it. He knew what to expect. If he looked too closely at what he felt for Sid, he was scared that would mess up the careful balance they had. It would tip the scales too far in one direction.

"I don't want to be poly, I don't think. I-- I don't think I like Tae like that and anyways, I wouldn't be the right person for him. And Sid... It's complicated. I dunno. I just feel bad. I know m'gonna hurt someone and I don't wanna do that."

They wished they could give him a hug, but they weren't sure he was in the space for that right now.

"I think if you wanted to make things work with Tae, you could. You're a much better person than you believe you are, and none of your flaws are as terrible as you think," Luca said with a gentle smile. After all, they'd been on the flip side of some of those flaws as well. They'd seen it. And none of them were that bad.

"But if you don't want to, then I think you just have to be honest. Say what you're feeling and listen to them say what they're feeling. Sometimes you have to try something to find out it doesn't work. Talking about it might hurt a little bit, but pretending it hadn't happened would hurt a lot more."

"Don't--" He cut himself off as he kicked his own shoes off and waded out into the water. "Luca... It's me. It's okay. I just-- I wanted t'make sure yous were okay," he continued, wincing slightly at the colder temperature of the water.

The waves lapped at his chest as he moved further into the lake. "M'not gonna hurt yous or anything. I just saw yous walking.... It's so late... I wanted t'make sure yous was okay. I hadn't heard from yous lately..."

Talking. Coming closer. Not screaming or running or calling for other people to come get Luca because they were the monster who didn't belong among everyone else.

(It didn't matter that had never happened to Luca. They'd been raised on too many stories where that was the only ending.)

But Jesse was still coming and asking if they were okay, and Luca didn't know how to answer because they'd fully forgotten what words were at this point. Instead they stayed frozen exactly where they were, the wind raising and then lowering again as they glanced around with wide uncertain eyes.

At least they weren't swimming away. That was the best that could be said.

"Well, it's not good," he said instead, twirling the dart he held in his fingers. "I mean... I talked t'Sid about it but he was more mad that I kinda--- well no I one hundred percent ghosted him and everyone after the trip. But we hadn't talked about not messing around with anyone else." He explained it in disjointed sentences, worry that Luca would judge him once he understood the gravity of the situation.

"Well. I mean. If you hadn't said that you weren't going to do it, I think it's good that he isn't mad. That wouldn't be very fair. I'm glad you talked to Sid. I mean, I know not every fairy is polyamorous but if you like both of them then you should hopefully be able to talk to them and figure out something that works for all of you."

He preferred people honestly showing whatever they were, blunt or not, to that.

Luca was clearly always trying to make people like them and, hell, most people were in a constant battle to do that; but they were painfully naive about the world.

Sid didn't ask why.

"Hn? Nah; I don't work until later. And Jesse is," he offered the blandest attempt at a shrug, "doing band things probably." Or whatever; just as likely to be in his recording studio. "Usually doesn't show up until late anyway, if he does."

Contrary to what most people might think, sometimes not constantly tripping over a person actually made being around them more comfortable, but that was just Sid's opinion.

It also then occurred to him that he was stuck in a car with Luca for a reasonably extended amount of time and during that amount of time it was likely that there would be a conversation.

Sid was starting to dislike that fish.

But still, it made them feel a little better to know they weren't accidentally taking time away from something important. Even if Sid had been the one to come to them, this whole trip to get the belongings was Luca's idea. They could have probably solved it differently, but. Well. It was better to take care of it now.

For a moment, they wondered if they should ask another question, but Sid was back to glaring at the road. It was like the road had personally offended him.

Considering how he'd responded to questions whenever he'd come to the house, maybe now wasn't the best time. Driving could be hard for him after all! It was being in control of a giant metal beast that could flip over and take you out at any opportunity if the conditions were right.

Luca instead pulled out their phone and started to flip through the website of the store they were going to, trying to figure out what they would need. The silence settled in the car.

One of the centrifuges. Huh.

Tilting his head to the side, Shere traces over the lines of the drawing, eyeing the shading and the way it sat on the page. "What will the centrifuge connect, in the end result?"

Some of their classmates found their focus strange and a little morbid, but Luca found it reassuring.

After all, if they could draw it and they could understand how it worked, perhaps they could modify it. Not one of these large ones - but smaller ones existed. One that could maybe fit in their own lab after all.

When the lake came into view, Jesse stopped. What the actual hell was Luca doing there? They couldn't swim. Or at least that was what they had told Jesse once upon a time. They avoided the water with the ferocity of someone who was deathly afraid of it. Yet here they were, stripping off their shirt and stepping out of their shoes. Maybe they were hot and were just gonna dip their toes in the water? Which made very little sense considering the wind that was still swirling around them and the slightly colder temperature still clinging to the air.

But then Luca was diving into the water and Jesse couldn't stop himself from rushing forward in concern. "Luca!" He called out as Luca submerged themselves in the water.

What emerged from the surface of the water wasn't the person who had went in it. Or rather... It was. But they looked so different. The moonlight reflected off of scales, making them shimmer the prettiest shade of teal he'd ever seen. Pale skin was transformed into a blue that rivaled even the bluest waters he'd seen. It was--- breathtaking. But that was Luca?

"L-Luca? Luca what...?"

Their name came again, and Luca couldn't stop themself from whipping their head around to look at the person standing on shore.

Their friend staring back at them.

They had no Glamor right now. No way to pretend. He'd seen them. He'd seen them.

Distantly, they were aware of the pounding of their heart. More obviously, they could feel the way the wind had picked up, shoving at the surface of the lake so each wave was pushed farther and farther up the shore, spray getting whipped into the air as their breath began to come faster and faster.

Half-heartedly, they stumbled backwards. Maybe if they dove to the bottom of the lake, they could just live there after all. That seemed good. Right? That fixed everything.

And he'd done that. Sequestered away for more than a few days while he wallowed and created.

But was he really ready to talk about it with someone who wasn't actually involved in the mess that he'd created?

"I kissed Tae," he said finally, watching the paint continue to drip down the canvas. "We were drunk." He added the last bit lamely as if it was any sort of excuse for what he'd done. After all, Luca didn't know that the relationship with Sid was an agreed upon arrangement. That it wasn't exactly real. Even if some days it felt real.

The fact that they were drunk seemed a little bit concerning, only because Jesse seemed so ashamed. But why? What were they missing?

"Okay? Is that...bad?"

That just meant that it was entirely too late when he finally called it quits for the night.

He was on his way back to Sid's, tired and ready to collapse either on the couch or in Sid's bed, when he noticed a silhouette that was a little too familiar. They were moving too quickly for Jesse to catch up with and so he tried to call out. "Luca! Hey! Luca, wait up!" He called out but it seemed to fall on deaf ears.

Worried that something was wrong considering he hadn't seen or heard from his friend in a handful of days, Jesse followed, determined to check in and talk with them.

That happened so often these days it was almost normal. They managed to control it in the classroom, but everywhere else was at risk. It was a good thing so many of their own belongings were weighted down.

A quick glance proved that the lake was in fact empty. Good. The last thing they wanted was to have to turn around and go home.

Efficiently, they stripped off their shirt and stepped out of the hated shoes. For a brief moment, they paused, as if waiting for something. But with a fierce sort of glee, they raced straight into the water and with an arching dive, sank under water.

The change was instantaneous. Brown hair and pale skin disappeared, revealing teal scales and blue fins. Their tail burst into view and flicked up behind them. Bursting back open, they took in a deep breath, feeling the strange combination of water gushing through their gills as they took in another breath of air.

That meant the lake.

Grabbing their towel, ignoring the potential risk, they hurried out of the house and down the now familiar path towards the lake. The streets were empty at this time of night, which was a good sign. Darkness and how close finals were meant that there shouldn't be anyone at the lake. All they needed to do was get there. At least down there they wouldn't keel over at 2 seconds of physical activity.

Maybe they could exhaust themself enough to sleep tonight.

Part of it was they'd gotten locked out of their lab again. It had been comforting to bury themself in work and tinkering, but sure enough, too many hours down there and the safety features locked into place. Which left Luca either facing their roommates or facing their room.

They didn't want to do either of those things.

So, here they were, ordering a drink and trying to figure out what combination of alcohol it would take to actually have an impact with the music loud enough they could feel it instead of their heartbeat.

Of course, that was when they turned around to see someone they weren't sure they were ready to see.

"Oh! Um. Aaron. Hi! It's been awhile."

Perhaps they would have been better off going to hide at the bottom of the lake.