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anxietydaddy

god striking me down

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shinjis

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hope-crest

me: wow things are actually going really well for once!

the crippling anxiety, waiting in the corner:

msnbcpundit

REMEMBER SKIP-IT FROM THE 90’S

apjvff

my weapon of choice during school yard fights

shoopsi

yesterdaysprint

Judge magazine, 1921

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this has been a mood for nearly 100 years now

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What secret will you take to your grave?

In Dutch, when you boil an egg and then place it into cold water to make it easier to peel an egg, it’s called “to scare” the eggs.

One day when I was about 6 or 7, my mom asked me to “scare” the eggs. So, little joker I was, lifted the lid of the pan and yelled “BOOO!”

My mom cracked up and has been telling this story ever since, for over 20 years. She’s come to love the story and still truly thinks that I wanted to really “scare” the eggs. Truth is I knew what “scaring an egg” meant and only wanted to make her laugh because she was in a sad place and time back then.

It’s made her laugh for over 20 fucking years, that means it’s the best joke I’ve ever pulled off and I’d die before I’d let her find out I was just kidding.

melitta4ever

This is the sweetest thing.

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niyarest

you fucks better start using colored text everywhere like you’re a school girl who just got a pack of glitter pens for her 12th birthday

that-stardust-deactivated201902

Or a pen with multiple colors

purplek1w1

*click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *cliiiiiiiick*

uncutgems

on all levels except physical I’m already retired and living in a cozy cottage where I grow plums in my garden

ozzyosborntodie

oomshi

me when my mom says we’re getting mcdonalds

mabeltron3000-blog

Jesus Christ what is happening

egberts

we’re going to mcdonalds

paprika

hyperchlorite-deactivated201811

Big ADHD mood

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dankmemeuniversity

federalbureauofislam

me: thinks abt c*ddling for 2 minutes me @ myself: shut the hell up u aren’t in a John green novel. grow up and move on.

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