I Thought I Was An Alien

when i started university i really struggled with writing essays and doing assignments because my adhd ass was really just not suited for that kind of environment (i didnt even want to go to uni for this purpose, but we wont get into that). i got so stupidly desperate that i was like “okay. this essay needs to get done, i need to fuckin Push myself into doing this.” and the best solution i had was to play a song on repeat to push myself into finishing the essay as fast as possible so that i didnt have to listen to the song anymore, and i don’t know my exact reasoning, but the song of my choosing was Don’t Stop Me Now by hit british rock band Queen. i guess i just thought it would be a funny choice at the time. anyways so it worked! i hauled ass getting that essay done with like 1000 words or so in under an hour, citations and all. i handed that bad boy in with not a lot of faith in myself cause it was so rushed, but whaddya know, i got it back and the mark was the best mark on an essay i had ever gotten throughout me entire essay-writing career!

so obviously. i continued doing this. every time i had an essay to do i would procrastinate it until the last possible minute and then just throw on a ten hour version of Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen and let freddie mercury take the wheel. the most notable was a huge research essay with citations that was a final project of an english class last summer, 2500 words. i can hardly remember the topic. i think it was something to do with vaccinations. i wrote it all within two hours right before midnight on the due date and handed it in thinking it was gonna make me fail the course and i got it back a week later with an 80%. by all means this was a terrible practice but it never failed me so i never learned. however i did not predict the consequences here, and the consequence was that i essentially accidentally trained my brain to activate into Essay Mode whenever i heard the song Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen. including when i don’t actually have any essays to write. i hear the song and it activates something within me that wants to write about the effect that capitalism has on the advancement of art movements, or the validity of some classical writer’s opinions on academia. and it’s hell. im just chilling in the cafe with some friends minding my own business and it comes on the radio freddie mercury himself manifests inches away from my ear like “TONIGHT…” and it feels like the chemical makeup of my brain just takes a heel turn. it’s terrible. once i was procrastinating an essay and my friend came over and knew this fact about me and started playing it on her phone while i begged her to spare me and it Worked and i got the essay done in an hour.

anyways ive been doing this for two years now.  i never reread them. i just put the song on and black out for two hours and i never remember the content of what i wrote, i just hand it in and hope for the best and it somehow has never failed me. i WISH it failed me then maybe i’d have some better habits in academia and better advice for my friends who have trouble with essays. but i really dont so this is just how i get through uni at this point. and like idk if it’s something that’s just really useful for other people with adhd, but apparently it works great for my adhd friends as well. somethin about association. who knows.

Beetlejuice the Musical Broadway Set

(aka extreme makeover home edition:

My squip would be Thomas Sanders because he would be the one i would listen to :D

The Two-Player Pair versus the One-Player Game 🎮