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@sharknado11719

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She balled so hard they banned her from ballin.
he was in the fridge!!!
ovbiously this person has done so much research and cares about their tortoise so much but…. the mf idea of having a live tortoise in a TUPPERWARE?! IN MY FRIDGE?? WITH ME FOOD? ahahahaha
the concept of opening someone else’s fridge only to find a WHOLE ASS TORTOISE in there… idk if I’d ever recover
@esperantoauthor when the food doesn’t come to Tesla, Tesla comes to the food
Reminds me of when I accidentally stumbled across this photo for the first time…
mutuals put me in your fridge
Back in 2015, I went over to a classmate’s house for group project work late in the fall, and in the middle of working on the presentation, offered to grab sodas for people but they were out of pepsi and Andrew whose house we were at said “Oh, there’s more in the basement fridge.”
So I go down to the basement, which is well-lit and finished and indeed there are more pepsi but also in the fridge is a massive tortise. This animal was the dimensions of a desktop computer and probably outweighed a labrador. It’s not moving, and is set in the middle of a plastic tray so it’s apparently supposed to be there. I go back upstairs.
“Hey Andrew.” I say, nonchalantly. “So is the tortise in the fridge down there for soup or what?”
“The what?” says the other member of the group project. I don’t remember her name, just that she always wore her hair in pigtails with butterfly clips that were based on real butterflies and she had at least a dozen species.
“Oh! No, that’s Andrew Too.” he says. “His species hibernates so he stays in the fridge for the holidays.”
“You named your tortise after you?” I ask.
“No, uh- Well, my grandfather got him in Egypt or somewhere while he was on leave during the war and He was named Andrew, so he thought it would be funny to name him ‘Andrew Too’. …Then Mom named me after him so Gandpa left me Andrew Too in his will. He’s pretty cool when he’s awake. Lets us dress him up for summer holidays, doesn’t bark.”
“Oh!” Said Butterflies. “My dad served in the Gulf War too! What unit was he in?”
“Oh no, Grandpa was with the Royal Air Force in World War Two. Andrew Too is going to be 70 this year! We’re going to make him a carrot cake!”
“is that for soup?”
“No, that’s my uncle”
straight people when a show adds a gay character and” forces” homosexuality on them
y'all want some fumking cat?
Buddy, friend, mate, pal-o, why did you reblog this so many times? How many times did you even reblog it? Why did you fill my dash with this cat?
i do not know how many times i have reblogged it
but i have reached the post limit once today amd i,xm not afraid to reach it again

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10 REASONS TO ADOPT A PET
You save a life.
The cost of adoption is less than buying a pet.
Most shelter animals have had medical treatment and are spayed/neutered, microchipped, and up to date with vaccines.
There are more unique pets to choose from in shelters. Age, breeds, mixed breeds, and personality choices are greater.
Many are already trained.
Your bed is pre-warmed on cold winter nights.
Animals are just ready to love you, no matter what.
Adopting from a shelter opens a cage for another pet who needs a new forever home.
An adult pet takes the guess work out of determining size, thickness of coat, and energy level.
Mixed breeds are unique compared to purebreeds and may have less genetically inherited health problems.
Take this quiz to find out which dog is right for you!
Please adopt some lovely doggos
As someone who just adopted a third doggo from the shelter, please do it if you can find a dog right for you. Those shelters do everything they can to keep them alive, but it’s a family that keeps them happy.
Okay, but is there a quiz for which shelter kitty I should get?
@deigns good u asked, yes!!! sorry I forgot to add that one, anyway here is it
What Breed of Cat should you get?
Ty jake peralta
Plus? Those animals in the pound? They KNOW that they are on death row. My first dog as a married woman was an eleventh hour adoption. A 13-y-o basset hound mix (pound said they thought he was 11 because they were trying to save him by making him sound a teeny bit younger) and he was “Til death do we part” loyal. We lost him 4 years later to cancer, and we (the family had grown from 2 to 3 humans) were devastated.
My sister? Fosters cats, and ended up with a charmer who’d been hit by a car. Sephiroth is a well loved asshole, and his brother, Cloud (a stray who found a sucker bet), is almost canine levels of friendly.
Be a superhero. Save a life. Rescue.
As a side note, if you’re really dead set on a particular breed you can always try looking up a rescue organization for that specific breed. That’s how we managed to adopt a 1yo purebred italian greyhound–he had been abused by his first owner without the breeder’s knowledge, then shuffled around to a few homes before he finally got picked up by a greyhound rescue, and then came to us. He never 100% recovered his confidence and was an anxious dog most of his life, but he was a VERY happy dog who loved to snuggle and stared up at you with these big stupid doe eyes and ran around in circles when you let him out in the yard. I think every dog I’ve ever had was either from a rescue organization or a pound, and they’re incredible animals.
Please adopt cats too💜
Posting in hopes someone adopts my cat i had to surrender recently 😭🤞
my adopted baby
he was 10 years old and in the shelter because his human had passed away
he’s 12 now and the clingiest, sweetest boy who sits like a doofus, purrs nonstop and adores belly rubs
Honestly adopting this little 10yo lady was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I emailed the shelter during lockdown with details about my home life, house, work pattern etc and they choose a cat that would work for me. They were 100% right, she’s perfect! ❤️
adopted both my bbs and i love them so much 😭
Both adopted, both amazing !!
This is it..
Anyone want address how she became a billionaire?
She’s an oil tycoon..
Every time I see a pic of McConnell it looks like he's in indescribable agony
god bless our troops o7
I hope that “between the crematorium and the dildo store” becomes a famous saying for whenever a person has lost in the most pathetic and undignified way possible. Sort of like how we still use the phrase “crossing the Rubicon” two thousand years after the event.
Sometimes body modification is just a way of telling yourself “this is still my house, I paint the walls and and I hang the art because I’m the one who owns it”

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Why do billionaires look like a seventh grader’s first sculpting project?
Haha ugly People bad
original context
I sure was a burden
Her tuition so damn high she can wear whatever tf she wants
Spite goals
Her name is Letitia Chai, she is Korean, and her presentation was “Acting in Public: Performance in Everyday Life”.
Her demonstration drew two dozen supporters. She was wearing a modest shirt and some cut-off shorts (which we can’t see in the images here because they’re mostly hidden by her laptop, exacerbating the need for retort against her professor’s disagreement with them). When her professor also asked what Chai’s mother would think of her attire, she informed him that she’s a gender and sexuality professor.
Letitia Chai: Chaotic good

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“It’s not about the bed, it’s about being next to you.”
every time i think i’ve figured it out the universe is like ;-) no baby