here we go again

Baptisms if they were sick as fuck

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

*squints* is that a motherfucking EVENING PRIMROSE?!??

#amazing work everyone hit the flowers

no i dont, theyre not called that. why would they be named something so ridiculous i think you are trolling me

Flip flops! In german as well!

The most PATHETIC lil baby sounds...

I love when little creatures who are entirely loved and well cared for have the BIGGEST baby reactions to normal things. Like yes sweet pea, you DO have the hardest life of anyone ever, for sure, and you’re SO BRAVE about this minor inconvenience of *checks notes* having some water touch you

There is nothing sadder and more pathetic than a baby marine mammal having to get into the water. They are suffering the most out of any baby animal ever. How dare they be introduced to their natural environment.

“Beep Beep Bitch, You’re Gay!”

That last one is fucking moving istg

at last. the gaydar

“global birth rates are declining”…… yeah and so are the reblog rates on tumblr.com too, so what now

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real