Life fails

If I had a daughter, I would name her Shannon. Because when she gets herself in trouble, I can be like "There you go, up to your Shannonagans again"

One time in my seventh grade science class, this kid was being real stupid with this plastic knife and chucked it across the room,aiming for the person next to me. Instead, I was the one hit. In the face. Took all my willpower not to cry.

School got me like

I have been prescribed with a nasal spray. While using it all I thought about was Lisa Zemo from Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide. I finally understood her. Hopefully puberty will do me right like her yo

I'm at the mall with my friends and like we are trying to find a place to sit and there's a table that's free. So like i try to slide into the seats like a g but my bag gets stuck on another group if people's table. So i awkwardly remove my bag from the chair. I can't be slick.

I'm outside for my gym class and then I see this like really cute boy that's walking my way. I have no idea what to do so I literally kick the pole next to me. I kick a freakin light pole. G'day.

I was getting all comfy on my couch, wrapped in this really warm blanket and like my dog is by my side. So, it's a real good layout. Then my dog moves and he freakin pees on the blanket and i get pee all over my legs. Great