Gwen knows Lancelot still has some feelings for her. It would be easy to ask him to protect Arthur, she knows he would do anything for her. It would also be cruel, and Gwen, for all her love and worry for Arthur, doesn't have the heart for this.
She waits with the knights, quietly talking with Elyan. She waits for the only person she knows she can trust with such a grave task.
"Please," she prays to Merlin. "Keep him safe. Return him to me alive."
Merlin wouldn't do it for her. She knows he loves Arthur, just as dearly as she does, if not more. Merlin saw Arthur safe through many ills and threats over the years. Merlin would lay down his life to protect their prince. She doesn't even need to ask him. She does it to warn him, to open his eyes to Arthur's grave burden, to him looking back and taking in Camelot as though he's seeing it for the last time.
"Of course," Merlin responds quietly, solemnly. And of course Merlin has already seen it, for he is always with Arthur and knows him better than he does himself. "Take care of him," he pleads in return, and Gwen promises the same.
~~~
Lancelot is used to pair off with Merlin. All their adventures in the last year always felt like that to him — adventures. He's a safe harbor for Merlin; and Merlin keeps him, all of them, safe.
Other knights might feel unsure when walking into danger, might hesitate at the low odds in an ambush, might be wary at the sight of magical foes. But Lancelot knows that Merlin always keeps them safe, always has a few more tricks up his sleeve, and Lancelot cherishes, chases the moments after the danger has passed and they would be eyeing each other with mischief in their eyes at Arthur's obliviousness to the source of their salvation.
Standing by Merlin's side feels like standing at the eye of a storm. All-seeing, all-knowing, safe amidst the force of nature.
Merlin's voice still sounds lost and fractured in Lancelot's mind, for magic is a part of Merlin, and that part was lost when the Dorocha came.
For the first time, Lancelot hears Merlin afraid.
When they returned from Howden, Lancelot didn't leave Merlin's side. He followed the warlock to the privacy of his chambers, and slowly they coaxed Merlin's magic back into the world, the butterfly wings so fragile that Lancelot had to stay, had to reassure him some more, voice going softer with each conjured sun in Merlin's eyes.
And he might be angry, he has the right to feel angry on behalf of Merlin, because Merlin never is (never for himself). He's angry at the kingdom which denies Merlin his magic, and now at the whole world joining in the denial. Magic is a part of Merlin, and for all that Lancelot loves him for his kind heart, he can't look away from the splinters running through Merlin's very being, splinters where magic rests unsure. Lancelot can't think of Merlin without his magic, without the sunrise in his eyes, and he easily volunteers to accompany Arthur to close the Veil. Anything to bring his sun back.
Of course, Merlin follows them, he always does. And if before Lancelot hasn't complained about Arthur taking his unarmed and unarmored servant on every quest, now Lancelot feels an urge to scream, to shake Arthur by his shoulders and ask him why, why he's always so careless with a man he refuses to knight and to call a friend.
Now Lancelot shadows Merlin's every stubborn step, and watches out for danger in every whisper of their road, and doesn't see the promised end in Melin's determined words and wistful eyes.
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i struggle to think of modern au mercelot scenarios because imo their relationship is so contextual and relies on the fantasy elements of the canon setting. i could see lancelot wanting to become... law enforcement (ew) because of his childhood tragedy, since there are a lot of stories like that already. either that or a soldier/join the army. the latter is more likely i think. but what about merlin??? so much of their friendship is about bravery on the face of the different challenges the world throws at them, the magic that merlin has and lancelot guards and adores. i could see merlin as a doctor of some kind, but WHAT would be his secret??? (that he's queer)
aaaah idk idk. thoughts????? would love to hear about other people's visions
I've thought about it and I have an idea... 🤔 Consider underground fighter Lancelot. Think about Lancelot from season 2. He had nothing and no one and fought for money.
I think it sounds delicious.
(the whole story outline under the cut)
Lancelot might have had a dream of being something else (those sweet ideas like a doctor, or a law enforcer (ew), or something). But Lancelot is a poor orphan and doesn't have money for that education or enough smarts for a scholarship (maybe he had tried for it and didn't pass and the uni told him to try next year). And he might have been disillusioned about the dream (especially if it's a law enforcer? Uther might be connected with it).
And then someone got him into illegal fighting for money, and Lancelot is very good at fighting.
Let's call the fighting place "The Lair".
I can see Lancelot using that money to help in the orphanage, or at the food banks, etc. Maybe he actually needs money for some other orphan kid's hospital bills. Maybe he self-studies at a public library. And/or saves up money for his education.
After Lancelot got a little used to the fighting gig, a new face appears there — Merlin. Merlin takes care of everyone's wounds and he's much better than the previous hack they had.
Merlin cleans and stitches up his wounds with careful hands and a gentle smile, and no one has ever treated Lancelot this kind. Lancelot soaks up his care and gets into more fights (for more money and/or to meet Merlin) and sometimes they talk.
And then one time they meet outside the Lair, at a public library. Lancelot is flabbergasted and Merlin casually strides up to him and comments on his reading and gives a few pointers if it's about medicine. Then one of them suggest they go for a coffee and they have a good time (it's a date).
Now, what's the deal with Merlin? (aside from him being queer)
Merlin has a pretty good friend (on a good day) — Arthur. Arthur's father - Uther - is a head of the police/mayor. Uther and his people are jerks but Merlin worked his magic on Arthur and Arthur isn't much of a jerk anymore. Arthur wants to succeed his father and to turn the system for the better.
However, Merlin is not going to wait forever for that change. Merlin has a vigilante group running, solving crimes, helping the victims and getting them legal assistance, fucking up the elites. Kilgharrah is their grumpy informant (they're chatting over text and never saw each other), Gaius might be a lawyer (sorry for not making him a doctor. he paid for Merlin's doctor education though). But the main workers are Merlin and Morgana (and sometimes Gwen helps?).
Arthur didn't know about it (Merlin had to do a lot of shady things for his group? and it was risky telling Arthur?). But with Uther's death a few months ago, Merlin was just going to tell Arthur over some dinner, but Arthur never came.
After Uther's death, Agravaine got appointed as the new head. Agravaine is corrupt, and his corrupt friends got him the place at the top, and Agravaine will close his eyes on some of the city regions, or some business, or some people disappearances, especially if it's the Lair and if it's Arthur's disappearance.
Merlin went undercover to the Lair. It was on their radar for a while, but Arthur's disappearance and some vague shady traces leading to the Lair's involvement got him running head first into the danger. The shady shit is well hidden however, and it takes some time to investigate it.
There he meets Lancelot and is surprised how such a seemingly nice person got there.
Merlin investigates Lancelot and one time even stalks him to the library (what if Lancelot has a shady meeting there, huh?). Lancelot noticed him, and Merlin had to approach him and have a talk (it was very nice).
Lancelot later catches Merlin at his shady activities (sneaking around or hacking or killing someone with a gun...) and keeps quiet about it and then helps Merlin, putting his own position and life at risk. Some action and bloody filled plot unravels at the Lair...
I'm just imagining Lancelot for the whole of it with some scrapes and bruises and bandages
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Just read a line fanfic line "That’s one thing Merlin missed with Lancelot. He never stopped being his friend whenever he put on the knight’s cape." And excuse you, but I'mma go lie down and die.
"What happened there?" Arthur whispered in the disquiet of the forest, kneeling beside his servant, who curled up in sleep in the corner of their camp.
Lancelot didn't have an answer for him. He didn't remember. His head felt hollow, scraped from the inside out, as disjointed thoughts echoed in there with a hissing sound. All he knew was that their last adventure left Merlin shivering in his bedroll, hugging himself with scraped arms in a last bid for comfort, as a single silent tear traveled across his cheek.
Lancelot reached out to swipe at it with a gentle hand and, while tugging Merlin's neckerchief to better hide the Fomorroh's scar from Arthur's eyes, revealed something else entirely.
All breath had left him as he stared at Merlin's heavily bruised throat. Cold horror ran through his veins, as hot rage bloomed in his heart at the monster who dared to hurt, to taint Merlin like this, to lay their hands on him as though they could stifle the sun and not be burnt for it.
He put his shaking fingers above the ugly bruises, and they were the perfect shape.
Merlin whimpered in his sleep and inched away from him.
"The destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young man" - wdym rests? He got crushed, absolutely flattened. Destiny turned that man into a pancake
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no like season 1 merlin rocks up to camelot and every magic user he meets is burnt out, bitter, or both. in season 5 mordred rocks up to camelot and the senior magic user that’s burned out and bitter is merlin. it’s merlin that’s perpetuating the cycle of hurt now and that’s crazy and they never get into it!
in s3 when gilli (I think?) comes to camelot and wants to use magic enhancing ring to defend himself and kill their oppressor and merlin tells him it's not what magic is for, it's for good (that he can't do because magic is outlawed) and he tells merlin that he has pretended for so long he forgot who he really is. it has been a theme since the beginning
#merlin goes through perfect indoctrination I think they actually nailed his character perfectly #you can see the shifts #he's hopeful in s1 #in s2 he believes it's necessary that he suffers at arthur's hand because it just has to be. doesn't trust morgana and poisons her #in s3 he's full of guilt over releasing kilgarrah and poisoning morgana. seems to fully believe arthur will never know about his magic #in s4 lancelots death and evil resurrection breaks him. his relationships with other people are detoriating. he is becoming emrys #s5 bitter obsessed merlin is obvious #just amazing progression (via @lovebotomy)
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In the wake of the Great Dragon's attack on Camelot, Lancelot is left with a choice: slay the beast and be rewarded with knighthood, or forsake it once again for Merlin.
~~~
Camelot meets him with crushed gates. Air is still thick with ash and smoke. Cloying, it claims his lungs when he, eager, takes a full breath.
He climbs through the maze of ruins that make up the citadel courtyard and walks free into its heart. It wants him now. In its hour of need, it finally wants him, and Lancelot craves to belong.
He seems to be the only fool vying for this honor, and a vaguely familiar First Knight briskly leads him to the Prince's chambers. He hears a whisper of a dearly familiar voice and feels right at home, until he intrudes onto apparently a private talk. Gwen and Arthur unclasp their hands and take a step back from each other.
However, joy soon brightens Arthur's face, and he strides towards him to clap his shoulder. "Lancelot! What are you doing here?"
The prince exchanges a look with his solemn First Knight, and Gwen brings her hand towards her face. Understanding downs on Arthur then, and joy leaves him just as fast as it came. "Surely not…"
"I'm answering a call for a dragon slayer, sire," Lancelot admits. "I've heard of it attacking Camelot and rushed here at once."
"It was noble of you," the First Knight commends him quietly. "If you succeed, the King will bestow knighthood on you, no matter your birth."
"I've always only wished to serve, to protect. That monster can't be allowed to roam free."
"Are you sure, Lancelot? It was as tall as our walls, and its teeth pierced right through the guard house." Arthur's grip on his arm gets tighter as he lets the admission fall from his lips. "It is a suicide mission."
"Then I'll die serving Camelot, sire," Lancelot unclenched Arthur's grip on him and squeezed his hand. "Or even more people will perish."
Arthur can't fight him on this, and his hand falls in defeat.
"Thank you," he says earnestly. His voice sounds firm, as it should, but his eyes betray the storm in his heart. "Neither I nor my knights can leave Camelot, such is the order of the King. I'm afraid I cannot entirely disagree with it, as there would be nothing left of Camelot in case of another attack. I appreciate your service and your bravery. Your family shall be notified if—"
Lancelot corrects him with a faint smile. "No need, sire. I don't have any."
"Oh."
It might seem strange to some that Lancelot would be ready to die for a man who didn't even know such a crucial part about him, as the loss of his family, his village, was his single driving force in life. But in the short time they got to know each other (and from Merlin's letters), Lancelot came to admire the prince and to believe in the world he would build (and he believed Merlin). And he hoped that in that short time they knew each other, Arthur still knew his heart, and would miss him, if Lancelot were to fall in battle.
Not one for prolonging farewells, Lancelot regarded Arthur with a smile and looked around the room in search of one person who strangely wasn't there. Gwen met his gaze steadily and gave him a little smile herself, which made his spirit all that lighter, but there was something heavy in her eyes. The First Knight remained still at his back.
"I see that Merlin's not here. Is he running your errands, sire? I would love to meet him before I go."
Truth be told, Lancelot was eager for this meeting. Ever since their encounter at Hengist's keep, they have been exchanging letters. Merlin knew where he would go right after and sent a letter there as soon as they returned to Camelot, to check up on you, he said. And Lancelot felt ashamed for getting lost, for getting into the cage fighting, for causing Merlin to worry about him, but it got him one steady human connection and a bag of treasured letters.
Merlin hasn't answered his last letter yet, and Lancelot hoped to receive a reply in person, to hear the sound of his laugh and maybe even catch a glimpse of sunlight in his eyes. Something weighed heavily on Merlin, something that couldn't have been trusted to paper, and Lancelot desperately wanted to cheer him up.
Silence answered him. Arthur's face fell, and Gwen closed her eyes. The First Knight awkwardly shifted his weight from one foot to another.
"Is he with Gaius? I've seen the destruction on the way, and the two of them must have a lot of work on their hands."
Aside from the pleasure of the much-awaited meeting, Lancelot hoped to learn the true account of what had actually happened during the attack. Nothing in Camelot was ever as it seemed, and Merlin often saw and knew much more than others, even if barely anything made it to his letters due to tight secrecy. And knowing Merlin's hardworking and heroic nature, he might already have a few theories on the beast's habitat and weaknesses.
And knowing Merlin, he would want to accompany Lancelot straight into danger with nothing but a tunic on his shoulders. Lancelot was afraid he would not be able to resist Merlin this time either, for he was exhausted of traveling and fighting alone, and craved good company, especially this capable and amazing. Lancelot could picture it in his mind: both of them fighting together (not alone anymore), and Merlin being completely free to use his magic for once, them taking down the monster and returning victorious to Camelot.
"Where is Merlin?" he kept asking.
Arthur gripped the edge of his desk.
Gwen's breath hitched once, then again, and she moved towards the exit. On her way, she squeezed Lancelot's shoulder, her touch light and burning, and left with tears in her eyes. After a brief silent exchange with the prince, the First Knight followed Gwen out and closed the door.
Lancelot remained where he was, still waiting for an answer, not daring to think any thoughts and suspicions lest they turn real.
Arthur sat heavily at his desk and looked up at him. His gaze was set on Lancelot, but he seemed to look right through him, through the walls, getting lost in the bloodied, burned maze of ruins that made up the courtyard.
Gone was the collected, firm figure of the prince, and only a wreck of a person remained.
"We didn't find a body."
Lancelot's whole world shakes.
When his thoughts return to him, he's leaning heavily on the wall, his knees buckling under his own weight. Arthur isn't looking through him anymore, but at his desk, where an uneven, torn piece of cloth is lying. It can't be—
"His neckerchief," admits Arthur. "The only thing we could find."
Merlin can't be. Can't be—
Arthur looks at him with dead eyes. Dead.
"There are accounts," Arthur whispers, unsure, and rushes through his words. "That the Great Dragon was gripping something in its claws, as it flew away west of Camelot. I do not know if it's true. I pray that Merlin had just fled from the battle — he came with me to the battle — and hasn't yet returned. But as days are going by, I— I'm sorry, Lancelot. I don't know. We didn't find a body."
Arthur's voice is hoarse by the end of it, and his gaze is bright, feverish in anguish.
And Lancelot feels numb.
History is repeating itself. Once again, he came to Camelot filled with hope and ready to serve. Once again, he is about to leave it utterly lost.
Well, not entirely lost. As confusion passes, and the world stops shaking, there's something vile and angry rising its head in him. He never wished to be an angry person. But as the world keeps taking and taking, his people and his home from him, what is he supposed to do with that anger burning in his heart and in his eyes?
If Merlin weren't forced to hide, if Merlin could protect himself with magic and not die to a pyre a moment later, if Arthur weren't there — if Lancelot were there— If, if, if—
Lancelot admires Arthur, but the world he will build will not have a place for Merlin, because Merlin is—
"I see," he doesn't. How could he let that happen? "Anything else, sire?"
Arthur looks at him with something heavy in his eyes.
"Take it," Arthur pushes the fabric towards him on the table. "If you are to follow the Great Dragon, then you deserve to have it. And if you find him—" Arthur stops.
Lancelot understands. The Prince of Camelot can't put one man above his whole kingdom. Lancelot's priority should be to the kingdom as well, to vanquishing the beast.
