The one thing that I learned, unintentionally, during my healing phase was to get over things quickly. Now this sounds like a good position to be in except, it’s not. Not only do I get over things quickly and easily but this applies to human interaction too. At the slightest dip in vibrational frequency on my end, I bow out gracefully. I no longer reciprocate low vibrational energies because that’s honestly like purposefully obstructing your view of a tranquil sunset, or sunrise depending on what you prefer. I will not engage a conversation that feels forced. I do not laugh at jokes that aren’t particularly funny - this one is scary because I genuinely have an easy heart and will laugh at every turn. I have given up, no; I have existed friendships that have required me to open up and share things I may not have been particularly comfortable sharing at the time, only because “friends share everything”. I have left relationships where I was the only one that wore the “understanding partner” hat. If I can understand what’s transpiring in your life, at the highest frequency point, you certainly can do the same and understand what I may require from you. My healing was long, painful, lonely and absolutely shattering. Facing the truth in the quest of unlocking one’s truest essence will never be a walk in the park. It’s razor sharp trails. It’s ice cold, deep ocean waters that require you to “just keep swimming”. It’s heart wrenching realizations of how low you’ve continuously priced yourself in the market. It’s taking accountability for allowing yourself to have experiences that could’ve easily been avoided, had you chosen yourself first. It’s accepting apologies that may never come or may simply come too little, too late. It’s apologizing to yourself every single day of your healing phase. But this healing phase is also, waking up one morning to take stock of your emotions and reconcile them to what they were the night before and realizing that it no longer hurts. It’s seeing a clean canvas again. It’s allowing yourself to start over. It’s learning to open up again. It’s having nothing to complain about on some days and everything to be grateful for on most days. My healing phase was a journey of self discovery. It was uncovering a lineage of strength and wisdom. It was heeding the call of those who came before me. It was walking thorny paths as I trekked back to where I had left God. It was coming to the realization that even though I had chosen my own path and had left God at the T-junction of my life, not once did He move or turn away from me. It’s like He stood there and said, “you have freewill, do what you must. I will be here waiting”. And after going at it alone with very little guidance, I circled right back to where I had parted ways with Him. One day, I’ll get into how I know God continued to have His watchful eye over me even after I had chosen to move away from him.
Today marks the first week of the beginning of a journey of a thousand miles. Life has been a great teacher but life is a harsh teacher if you attend lessons without God. In His word He says, I will never leave you nor forsake you. He doesn’t speak of how we may someday choose to leave and forsake Him. It only warns of trials and tribulations that we might come face to face with, if we choose unrighteous paths.
