I grew up in Christian home and raised to be a "good" person,
BUT there's one question that really bothers me everytime:
"WHEN YOU DIE, WHERE WILL YOU GO?"
And I know the answer, "HEAVEN".
But deep inside, Im not really sure Im going to heaven. I mean, I do good things but I do bad things too. Sometimes I do more bad than good.
And I cannot hide anything from this God. HE KNOWS ME, He even knows what Im thinking!
So one time, I prayed to Him,
"Lord, I dont think I can go to heaven. Im not really a good person. I do things that breaks your heart. I do bad things in secret. And You know it. I think I deserve hell. But Im not THAT bad as well... so can you just make the fire less hot for me?"
I did not hear from the Lord that day. (Tbh, back then, I really dont know how people can hear from God. 😅)
Few years later, during college, in the school theater, there was a Youth Service going on. I thought, "cool they're playing Hillsong songs like the one were playing in church."
So Ive stayed a while longer up until the preaching.
There I heard the Pastor say, " It's NOT because of your good works that you can go to heaven. It's because of what Jesus did on the cross 2000 years ago. He already paid for your sins. Now, you can come to Him as you are and He will meet you where you are."
That night changed my life for good. Someone already paid my ticket to heaven. Doing good works now is not a burden to earn my way to heaven. Good works now is an overflow, an expression of gratitude for God's gift of salvation to us all.
Jesus told him, “I am the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIFE. No one can come to the Father EXCEPT through me."
-John 14:6 NLT
