She's lost control again

Just a vampire, totally handling reading the story his ex wrote about him well.

honestly, open warning to anyone who sits beside me on a plane: I’m eating your ass immediately if we crash. I don’t have any religious hang ups. if we’re lost in the Andes in need of rescue, and I start to get a little hungry, I’m eating you. sorry.

#if he got rid of some middle names i bet he would be more aerodynamic and better at racing via @/honeyseller

Correction: it's not the Medicis who run the Dublin fried chicken shops, but the direct decendants of the enemies of the Medici; the Borgias. The chain is called Borza and is better known for fish and chips. They moved to Ireland in the early 20th century. They are also said to have introduced the deep fried Mars bar from Scotland to Ireland.

The Borgias, among the most feared and reviled families in European history, running a fish 'n chips shop with deep fried Mars bars is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. It's like something from a D&D campaign where they decided to completely change genres.