🌊sea cotton dreams🌿

do you want a warm, weighted, vibrating plushie that acts like a heat seeking missile and intermittently stabs you? What I have just described to you is Felis catus and there is a dark secret to it

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

i hear a good lyric and start mentally holding up blorbos like im in the home depot paint aisle comparing swatches

I want to see the vampire who lives in this. I bet his name is Chad or Hunter.

And he's ready to crack open a boy with the cold ones.

we really should be calling it fanworks, not content

I'm here for fun and community not to rp a mega corporation's underpaid social media intern