Gay Mokies

Merlin: (ashamed) I... I think I pissed him off so bad he collapsed.

Gaius: I figured, Merlin. Uther hit you. It's not difficult to put two and two together. What I need to know is WHAT did you do to piss Uther off so bad he collapsed.

Merlin: (more ashamed, mumbles) I...deny but-then he-and I...

Gaius: Merlin I need every detail, word by word what exactly did you tell the King, so I can find a way to defend you.

Merlin tells him exactly what happened and Gaius hears every word patiently, even when he feels the need to yell at Merlin every 30 seconds for how insolent and reckless Merlin had been.

Gaius: (after Merlin finishes) Alright... There's no way to defend you.

Merlin: What?! 😰

Gaius: You did not only defy the King's authority and raise your voice at him, you mocked him and insulted him! What were you thinking?!😡

Merlin: I don't know! I did what you said: deny, be submissive, be respectful, but he still believed I was guilty and then he said he would send me away from Arthur and I just... got mad!

Gaius: You should've been grateful Uther just wanted to send you away! You'll be lucky if he even grants you a quick and painless death now! You think that Uther is Arthur and will put up with your disrespect? He is the King!

Merlin: I know! I just.. forgot it for a moment. (sighs) I'll pack my things.

Gaius: Why?

Merlin: You said there was no way to defend me, so I'm leaving, like Uther sentenced.

Gaius: (lets out a dry laugh) You really don't get it, do you?

Merlin: (confused) What?

Gaius: How bad you really messed up! (stands up abruptly and moves his hands around as he talks in distress) When I told you'll be lucky if Uther grants a quick and painless death now, I meant it! Everyone thinks you tried to kill the King! And, honestly, I don't blame them. You were alone with the King when he "fainted" and have a fighting mark on your face. If I didn't know you, I would've believe it too. And you do realise that's the worst crime someone can be accused of, right?

Merlin: (pales) But I didn't-And Uther knows I-

Gaius: You think that with how paranoid he has been he won't think you provoque this seizure on him on purpose?

Merlin: ...

Gaius: Once Uther wakes up, you'll be enemy of the crown. You'll be hunted down so bad, not even outside Camelot you'll be safe. And when they get you... (his voice wavers, not able to say it, and sits on the bed again, defeated)

Merlin: But... I'm sure Arthur can do some-

Gaius: Arthur! Even he understands the gravity of the situation more than you do. Do you know where is the prince now?

Merlin: Looking after his father. Where else could he be?

Gaius: ...

Merlin: That's where he is, right?

Gaius: ...

Merlin: Gaius, where is Arthur?

Arthur in a reunion with all his Knights.

Arthur: I won't force you to participate. If your loyalty lays more with Uther than with me, I completely understand. He is still the King after all. But I need to know who will be on my side.

Merlin: (enters) Arthur! (runs to him)

Sir Innprudence: (murmurs) The apple of discord has arrived.

Sir Leon: (hits him, whispering) Silence!

Merlin: Tell me is not truth. Tell me you are not planning to overthrow the king!

Arthur: Alright, I won't tell you.

Merlin: Arthur!

Sir Ewan: (murmuring) Like he didn't plan this from the beginning.

Sir Leon: (whispers) Really? You too?

Sir Ewan: (whispers back) Is his fault we are about to do a rebellion! To think we defended him. But now we know what he is. A poisonous snake-

Merlin: You can't overthrow your own father, are you mad?! I won't let you!

Sir Owain: Listen to him, Sire!

Sir Ewan: Yes, he's talking nothing but reason!

Sir Leon: (whispers to Ewan) Didn't you just say he was a poisonous snake?

Sir Ewan: (whispers back) What are you talking about? I'd never talk bad about The Unicorn Catcher.

Arthur: Don't be ridiculous, Merlin. I'm not really overthrowing my father.

Merlin: You are not? 😧

Arthur: You think I'd take my father's throne by force when he's unconscious and therefore incapable of defending himself in any way? That's not just treason, is dishonorable!

Merlin: (sighs in relief)

Arthur: This is just a back up plan.

Merlin: A back up plan?

Arthur: Yes, my first plan is to try to talk him out of executing you as soon as he wakes up. If he forgives your life, everything will be solved.

Merlin: ... And if he doesn't?

Arthur: That's what the back up plan is for. 😊

Merlin: ...

Knights: ...

Sir Innprudence: Rebellion it is.😔

Merlin: You can't be serious. Arthur, you know Uther won't forgive me!

Arthur: (in denial) Don't be so negative, Merlin. I can try to persuade him. It might work.

Merlin: Arthur-

Arthur: This is just a last resort! If he doesn't see reason, I'll challenge him into a duel-

Merlin: Arthur-

Arthur: If he doesn't accept the duel, i'll ask the court for their support-

Merlin: Arthur-

Arthur: And if I don't have enough support-

Merlin: (shouts) You won't have it! Why would the court help you save the life of a servant? Especially one that is suspected of trying to kill the King! You can't ascend the throne this way. Your legitimacy to the throne will be questioned and your reputation ruined! It's outrageous enough that you are even considering this. He is your father!

Arthur: (shouts) I WON'T LET HIM TAKE YOU FROM ME!

Merlin: ...

Arthur: For years he made feel unworthy of his love. He made me feel guilty for my mother's death since I was a kid. I did EVERYTHING to get his approval. I trained hard, I isolated myself with tones of books, went to quests, I killed in his name! And then what does he do? Insult me, hit me, imprison me and take every piece of happiness I have! He sacked my first nursemaid because she was too soft on me, he killed my first hunting dog because I was getting too attached to it. "Don't show weakness Arthur, why are you crying Arthur? The darkness of the dungeons scares you? Stop acting like a baby, you are turning 8 tomorrow!"

Merlin: (covers his mouth with his hands, wide eye)

Kinghts: (just as shocked) ...

Arthur: I tolerated him a lot of things. But not this. Not with you. I won't let him take my happiness once more!

Merlin: (thinking in awe and emotional) He... he considers me part of his happiness? 🥺

Arthur and Merlin: (get lost in each other's eyes)

Knights: ...

Sir Innprudence: (coughs) Well, the rebellion is not going to make itself.

Leon: (hits him with his elbow and mutters) They were having a moment! (aloud) You can count on me, Sire.

Sir Owain: And me!

Sir Ewan: And me!

Sir Innprudence: Yeah, we already escaped the dungeons. What's another rebellious act?

Leon: (lifting his sword) For the love of Camelot!

All Knights: For the love of the Prince!

Time skip. In Gaius Tower.

Merlin: (enters, very serious)

Gaius: Did you convince the Prince of not doing the rebellion?

Merlin: In fact, he convinced me.

Gaius: What?

Merlin: Did you know Uther put Arthur in dungeons as a punishment when he was 8? Or should I say since?

Gaius: ... Where is this coming from?

Merlin: (barely contained anger) You knew, didn't you? You knew and you didn't do anything!

Gaius: I did what I could! I can't very well confront the king about his parenting methods, Merlin. Unlike you, I know my place.

Merlin: Parenting methods? That's abuse! He was just a child! And I... (thinking) I never noticed. Those times Uther sent Arthur and Morgana to the dungeons, I just assumed they were isolated cases. But they were routine for them. How much did I actually miss in my other life?

Gaius: Uther wasn't the best father, I won't deny that. But does he deserves to lose his crown for that? Besides, this is not just about him. A rebellion will put the life of many at stake. Blood will be spilled. Do you want that on your conscience? On Arthur's conscience?

Merlin: No! Of course not. But if Uther hasn't been a shitty father, Arthur's mind wouldn't be as set as it is now. He killed his dog for gods' sake!

Gaius: What does that has to do with anything?

Merlin: Arthur is not doing this because of me. Apparently this was just the last straw. (thinking) Though it's odd he never reacted like this in my other life. He never thought of doing a rebellion when Uther wanted to kill Gwen. And Arthur always thought high of Uther even years after he died. What changed to make Arthur stop idolizing his father so soon?

Gaius: The last straw? YOU were the last straw! 😡 You and your audacity, your boldness, your lack of self-preservation-

Merlin: I get it, I get it. This is all my fault. You can scold me and ground me all you want later. Now we need solutions. How can we stop Arthur from doing the rebellion?

Gaius: Honestly, Merlin, sending you to talk him out of it was the only hope I had.

Merlin: (thoughtful) Hmmm... Maybe... there wouldn't be a need for a rebellion if...

Gaius: If?

Merlin: (hesitantly) Uther weren't to wake up?

Gaius: (escandalized) Merlin! Are you suggesting to kill the King? 😱

Merlin: No! Never! I wouldn't do that to Arthur! But you must admit it would solve a lot of thing-

Gaius: Shut your mouth! You are speaking treason! Those words alone could get you hanged!

Merlin: I'm pretty much dead now, Gaius. But you're right, I shouldn't joke with those things. (thoughtful again) What can we do?

Gaius: (brings a hand to his chest) You're going to make my heart leave my body one of these days, I swear.

Merlin: (gets an idea) Leave! That's it! (makes a move to leave)

Gaius: (stops him) Where are you going?

Merlin: I'm going to pack my things and leave Camelot. 😊

Gaius: You think running away from your problems is going to solve anything?

Merlin: No, but it'll keep Arthur busy.

Gaius: ...What?

Merlin: Here's the plan. Hear me out. Arthur told me he didn't want Uther to take me from him because I'm part of his happiness. (smiles a little, blushing)

Gaius: Really, Merlin? This is not the time for blushing.

Merlin: I'm not-It's good to feel appreciated sometimes. Anyways, this means Arthur cares enough for me to look for me if I'm gone, right?

Gaius: I would say that more than enough, actually, but yes.

Merlin: So if I leave and hide, Arthur will be too busy trying to find me that he won't have time to organize his rebellion. There, problem solved!

Gaius: That's your great plan. Playing hide and seek with the Prince.

Merlin: Yep. 😊

Gaius: Yes, he'd probably go nuts looking for you, just as he probably would speed up the rebellion in the hope that you will return as soon as the threat is over.

Merlin: ...

Merlin: Okay, I didn't think of that.

Gaius: (sighs)

Merlin: You are not giving me many ideas either, Gaius!

Gaius: Well, for now, I'll do the only thing I can. (picks up a potion and starts leaving)

Merlin: What are you going to do?

Gaius: (defeated) Delay the inevitable. To buy you some time.

Merlin: (keeps looking at Gaius, confused)

Gaius: (sighs) I'm going to drug the King. (leaves)

Time skip. Emergency reunion in Morgana's chambers with Merlin, Gwen and Lancelot.

Lancelot: Arthur even asked me to join the knights in the rebellion.

Gwen: He seems pretty determined, Merlin. Reasoning or trying to sweet persuade him is not going to make him change his mind this time.

Merlin: I know, I tried. (sighs) There must be something we can do!

Morgana: (enters) Sorry, I'm late. Someone had to look after Uther. (gives Merlin a look)

Merlin: (guilty) Morgana-

Morgana: Don't. I know you didn't mean for any of this to happen. And I don't blame you, truly. If I told you all the times Uther made me lose my temper.

Merlin: Yeah, the difference is no one would ever believe you tried to kill the King because of that.

Gwen: There are still many Unicorn Catcher defenders between the servants if that's any consolation to you.

Merlin: It is not. (to Morgana, hopeful) You think you can convince Arthur of not doing this?

Morgana: You think I haven't tried? I even told him he would hurt Uther less if he killed him in his sleep rather than force him to fight his own son in battle, that he was being a monster by doing this, but he went all "this is the honorable way" and all.

Merlin: Perfect. Unless Gaius can sedate Uther forever, we are screw.

Morgana: Have you tried seducing him? 😏

Merlin: This is not time for jokes, Morgana. 😒

Morgana: (thinking) It would work if you weren't so blind to Arthur's feelings. 🤦 (sighs and says) Fine. What about crying to him?

Merlin: Morgana, this is serious!

Morgana: I am serious! How do you think I survived Uther's strict education for so long? Crying was my way to get away with some things with Uther and avoid or reduce some of his punishments. Of course it stopped working when he realised I was faking, but my point is: Pendragons are weak to tears and Arthur is not the exception. When I first came to the castle we didn't get along well. Arthur was jealous that I had all of Uther's attention and believed he was softer on me than him. He wouldn't swordplay with me no matter how much I asked, so what do you think I did?

Merlin: ...Cry?

Morgana: I cried so hard Arthur panicked and gave me his own sword to play. There was also this time some nobel kid made me cry and Arthur kicked him in the crotch.

Gwen: Oh, I remember that! It was so funny.

Lancelot: So you are suggesting manipulation, my lady?

Morgana: I wouldn't call it manipulation. I would call it... Plan T!

Merlin: Plan T?

Morgana: T of using tears as a way to presuade Arthur.

Merlin: That's manipulation!

Morgana: Well, we're running out of options. Besides, I sincerely believe that it can work. It's very easy, just look. (purses her lips and then her eyes begin to water, until tears run down her eyes and then she cries uncontrollably)

Merlin: (worried) Morgana?

Lancelot: Are you alright, my lady?

Morgana: (suddenly stops crying and wips her tears) See? 💁‍♀️

Merlin and Lancelot: (totally shocked) ... 😨😨

Gwen: (claps) You are so talented my lady! 😊

Morgana: It's easy. You just have to hold your breath, gag with your mouth closed and then just focus on the burning in your eyes until your eyes water and, finally, you let out all the frustration in the form of tears. Once you master that, you go to Arthur like this: (goes to Gwen and kneels before her, holding her hands. Then she starts crying all over again) "Please, Arthur, stop this! It's all my fault!" (hits her chest rugly) "I've caused all this. If blood is spilled because of me, I couldn't live with myself. (clinges to Gwen's legs) If you do this, I... I'd rather... disappear!" (faints)

Merlin: ...

Lancelot: ...

Gwen: (amazed) She's good, isn't she? 😃😁

Lancelot: I'll never trust the tears of a woman ever again.

Morgana: (stands up and turns to Merlin) See? Just like that.

Merlin: Yeah, I'm not doing that.

Morgana: You have to! If Arthur notices your anguish he will reconsider.

Merlin: Why don't you do it then?

Morgana: I did and he just sent me to Gaius. The problem when you use a trick too much is that people start to build up immunity to it. Besides, this is something Arthur would expect from me, but he would never expect it from you. With you he'll really be struck down.

Merlin: But... I don't want to lie to him. (thinking) No when I can help it.

Morgana: Technically you wouldn't be lying. You feel guilty, don't you?

Merlin: Of course I do!

Morgana: Then you'd just be amplifying your feelings! Now... (pulls Merlin and puts him infront of Lancelot) Lets practice. Imagine Lancelot is Arthur.

Lancelot: What? 😰

Merlin: Morgana this is ridiculous.😒

Morgana: Want to stop the rebellion?

Merlin: Yes, but-

Morgana: Then cry to Lancelot. Now.

Merlin: (sighs and tries to use Morgana's technique, holding his breath)

Morgana: You are forgetting to gag.

Merlin: (starts to gag)

Morgana: With your mouth close!

Merlin: (tries to do that, but fails and starts coughing)

Morgana: Okay, close enough. At least your eyes are a bit watery. Now kneel and hold Lancelot's hands.

Merlin: (kneels before Lancelot and holds his hands)

Lancelot: (puts his hands away in reflex, scared)

Gwen: Lance!

Lancelot: Sorry. My survival instinct. Do we really have to hold hands?

Morgana: Yes, we have to make this as realistic as possible.

Lancelot: And the Prince won't come in at any moment?

Gwen: The doors are closed and Arthur is too busy with this whole rebellion thing. You are safe, love.

Lancelot: (blushes a little at the use of the nickname) Alright (holds Merlin's hands, though he's still tense)

Morgana: Now, Merlin, your lines.

Merlin: (uncomfortable) Uh... Please, Arthur. Stop-

Morgana: No! You have to do it with more emotion!

Merlin: (raises his voice) Please, Arthur! Stop this! Is my fault (pats his chest)

Morgana: That hand, with more force! You're desperate!

Merlin: (hits his chest harder) I've caused all this!-

Morgana: The tears! where are the tears?!

Merlin: (tries to do Morgana's technice again but ends up doing a weird face) If blood is... spilled... I.... I can't live with myself...

Gwen: Now he looks constipated.

Morgana: The legs! Hug his legs!

Merlin: (hugs Lancelot's legs awkwardly)

Morgana: Tighter! You'll die if he doesn't change his mind!

Merlin: (hugs tighter)

Lancelot: (thinking, trying not to panic) Arthur won't come in, the doors are closed, Arthur won't come in, the doors are closed, Arthur won't come in-

Merlin: If you do this I'll... ARGH! I CAN'T DO THIS! (stands up, frustrated) I CAN'T CRY! THIS IS USELESS! I... (thinking) I lost my ability to cry like that long ago. I rarely cried in years and when I did I did it silently, swallowing my tears. Not even when I believed Arthur would die I cried like this. (Says, sad) We're doomed. The rebellion will happen, people will die and it will be all my fault, because I always ruin everything somehow! Maybe the problem all this time was me. Maybe Arthur would be actually better if I just didn't exist!

Gwen: ...

Lancelot: ...

Morgana: There! You have to hold to that emotion when you cry to Arthur.

Merlin: Didn't you just hear me? I CAN'T CRY!

Morgana: That can be arranged.

Time skip. In Gaius' tower.

Merlin: (enters) Gaius.

Gaius: How was your reunion? Did you find a solution?

Merlin: (hesitanly) I think, but... I need something... from you.

Gaius: (confused) What is it that you need?

Merlin: Do you have something there that can... make someone's eyes tear like... a lot?

Gaius: I think so, but... What's the plan exactly?

Merlin: Literally cry my way out of this.

....

Will Merlin be able to cry to the prince? find out in the next episode of "Merlin: the apple of discord"

Also credits to my best friend Rosangela, who gave me most of the ideas for diolagues in this part and others too.