Today, i'm going to tell a story about my first encounter with First Australians. My first memories are from when i'm around 2-3 and at the time we had moved to Western Australia as my father being a miner, we moved around the country a lot. Where we moved to was literally a caravan park in the desert. Indigenous tribes out that way still essentially lived how they always had before because it's a vast expanse, mostly unpopulated by everyone else bar the coast, cliff line and dotted communities. Indigenous had elders, would go where they pleased and seemed content. Though i'm sure I was too young and innocent to notice people shooting glances.
One day when my mother was shopping, I wandered off because I was one of 'those' kids and saw a group of First Australians sitting in a circle outside the shoping centre. I had no concept of racism. To me these were a bunch of badasses dressed in hunting gear just chilling while everyone else was boring and wearing shitty picnic clothes trying to be a disingenuous 'good neighbour' Even as a small child I could tell many people were fake af even without realising it themselves. Still, times back then were very different to now.
So I ran up to these awesome looking people. They were just hanging out, eating and having a chat to eachother. I stood by, probably awkwardly close, they laughed and I laughed, they made room for me to sit with them and I did so. They were friendly, accepting, I felt safe and I respected them for that. My mother found me after 10 or so minutes. I was a sneaky child and would escape often and stressed her out a lot. She apologised and they said it was fine. We bid each other farewell and that was my first impression. A tiny pastey white blonde haired kid being welcomed to sit down with people I didn't know at all. Honestly, it was like they were looking out for me til my mum found me.
That always stuck with me even after I learned of Australian history. And not in school btw. They don't tell you about the near genocide of our Indigenous in private or public schools. Not back then as I attended both. I had to read about it myself and all the messed up, confederate equivalent 'white Australia' shit. I'd only seen Pauline Hanson for the first time a few years prior and had upon first impression called her "Ronald McDonald" and after learning our history really didn't regret it at all. What a fucking clown.
In my younger years I kept a lot of my rights and political thoughts inside. Teenagers are often self absorbed without meaning to be as it seems the world is always ending for them, so there was always something else dominating the conversation and this carried into my 20s too. In that time i'd made a number of indigenous friends and they were unsurprisingly all lovely people and still are now. What always struck me as sad is how, friends aside almost every indigenous person I met had a natural anxiety about them. Something I could relate to with my own issues, but theirs was about themselves, like they were constantly worried and as I got older the reason became clear. They've been made to question their worth as a human being casually their whole life
I heard people saying fucked up shit but it was this weird disconnect because a lot of the time, harsh humor was common. I probably said some ignorant shit myself too. It was also the 2000s so edgy white wannabe rappers were a thing and people were dropping N bombs indirectly and nonchalantly even more than people do now. Things being fucked and harsh back then, was the humor. But I quickly realised a lot of these 'jokes' weren't jokes at all. It was just racism stacked on racism. I remember one night in particular, a girlfriend of mine at the time making these 'jokes' that was just loosely veiled racism while a friend of mine who is Indigenous was in tears over it. This moment stuck with me for years. I should have said something then and I always regretted it. That was THE moment that I realised everything isn't okay to joke about. Even if people don't mean it, words hurt and conjure up years of discrimination. A lesson I frankly shouldn't have had to learn but being young I was naive and thought better of everyone and in those situations you let a lot of things slide you shouldn't.
Even then I was righteous, just not about enough. And sometimes I think about if i'm too righteous now, too concerned with altruism, equality, equity, justice. Posting too much stuff on everyone's news feeds. But then I think of this story. The welcoming lunch circle when I was a tiny child and the tears of my friend when a person I loved at the time perpetuated that friend's pain. Now I don' t think i'm overly righteous. I think other people aren't righteous enough. I remember first Australians as being chill as fuck, respectable warriors just having a chat and eating before they wandered back into a land i'd so easily die in within hours. That time in my life echoed through me a lot. It was the moment I began being vocal about politics because I realised it directly effected my indigenous friends, my LGBTQ+ friends, even my female friends. Racism, sexism, bigotry.. Discriminstion. I don't regret being righteous to the point of being annoying. I regret not being that way sooner.
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