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Edween gave me the best idea - to look for a colocation in marseille on hinge ahah (bc i haven’t use since short after making the profile in Paris with her but i still encountered few nice ppl and that might be a way maybe mmm

I don’t like how these bread masks i did look like anymore / i used a dish i made years ago with harvested clay. The others from the group love them and there s not much time left buuuut i think i ll try to bake some shapes i like better , i was thinking almost like these beauty mask sheets but with weirder shapes around … let s try i am using so much flour and it s very hot here with the oven but i am hyperactive finally

My grandma is doing witch activity in the kitchen among my bread objects - she does something with water / vapor and some kind of praying to heal the shingles lesions of my aunt

I’m surprisingly feeling great tonight on the first day of my period let s see how much this last but ah !

Especially bc i still have the reflex of thinking i d love the comfort of a partner in moments of struggling is why i should not long for it and not take for granted being on my own now … i have been a hopeless romantic and thinking love would be us filling voids caused by past experiences… meanwhile it s probably true in a somewhat healthy dynamic you can help each others to go through things …filling voids is not what relationships are for i guess it s more about growing as you face also your fears/ wounds through it with someone who also wants to work on this in mutual goodwill (im waiting for my bread mask to cook in the oven and scrolling too much and trying to convince myself

Just corrected last post but lol i forgot to hear is written with H and then the autocorrect went like ear/eat so “ i was sitting down on the floor of the kitchen and eating my grandmother in pain crying” and “frogs are starting to sing again, i feel lucky to eat them at night” ok

The frogs are starting to sing here and that s one my favorite sound - i feel lucky i can hear them at night and be in the garden, i was thinking about this as i listened the birds today. The day went intense on bread making and being stressed by email exchanges with the museum to the point where i almost thought i don’t even want to go , but then i realized it s especially bc i am uncomfortable that i should go … i stayed too long isolated at my grandma s place and finally i get to be a bit paid to do something creative, travel and be with some ppl that s everything i need the most rn.. but after cooling down from suddenly doing 1000 things at the same time i got a wave of sadness .. i was sitting down on the floor of the kitchen and hearing my grandmother in pain crying. I felt like i needed comfort, in these moments i am wired to search for it in the person i am in love with but i don’t remember anymore the feeling of being loved and safe with someone.. with friends yes but in another intensity. Probably if i had my friends around i wouldn’t long as much for that other type of love, at the same time i still feel like this time alone is important. As i walked out of the house to seat in my favorite garden spot , at the door of the little wooden house i thought anyway my period is starting tomorrow maybe i can put the heavy thoughts on that, hormones dropping !