the thing with depression is that you grabs your hand when you least expect it. you could be in a circle of laughter, surrounded by familiar faces and warm embraces but the only thought on your mind is the growing sadness within you that clings to your lungs, you feel this wave of darkness swoop across you and you don’t know whether to break down and tell everyone you’re sad and you don’t know why or to fake more smiles and mask it until you break down in the embers of silence banished amongst the hollowing echoes of your bedroom, your bed your home, it’s rib cages keep you locked under the sheets with tears falling down your cheeks. god, you don’t understand how everything could be going perfectly right but these little chemicals inside your head make you see and feel something else, it’s just so hard to explain, it’s not that we choose to be hopeless and depressive, it’s not that we want to either, it’s a choice we have no say in until we fight strong enough to see it through or hush its whispers.
- thesmilingakh
