Dark Fairytale ☾

I taught myself how to tie shoes.

Sitting on the coarse white carpet,

Free of the red wine stains that were to come.

I asked for help, for guidance, as she took another sip.

Pleads left unanswered to soil at the bottom of the bottle.

I taught myself how to tie shoes so she could get off the couch.

The years faded into days

Before I realized what took me over

I’ll hold you close, tender girl

Through sleepless nights and painful withdrawals

To the money spent that wasn’t mine to waste

All the racing thoughts and nose bleeds

I’ll hold you close, sweet girl

You make it to the other side

I let you in again.

You and your poisonous words.

Your toxins and lies.

This time, though,

Your words were masked,

Placed in a pretty little box;

Apologies filled with hopes and dreams.

I relapsed and you filled my veins

The loud ones, the liars.

The gaslighters and manipulators.

Before a boy ever broke my heart, my father did.

Picking the bottle and pills over his daughters.

Coming in and out of life like a bad habit.

Almost 30 years later, a handful of heartbreaks.