s p i t f i r e

          He casually flicked his tongue along his left canine, quirking a small brow with a bored look over that was like a whip crack. He didn't know the girl, so he was only so friendly. Not to mention, he wasn't sure what the implications of that 'oh my god' had been. There was a chance she was giving him shit, even mocking him. "You rang?"

But if given the chance to mull it over, then Lea would by default support his partner in any decision they landed on. If he was wanted at the clinic during the abortion, then he’d be there and take care of his partner to the best of his ability afterward. If his partner wanted to keep the child, then he’d bite the bullet and accept the responsibility even though he’d definitely warn the person he’d probably prefer to be ‘hands off’ and ‘financially present’ instead. Granted, this aversion would likely change once the emotional terror of it all drifted and he adapted to the idea, but it would be an emotionally exhausting process for both him and his partner.

          "Someone's feeling a little neglected? A man can't even enjoy a donut and watch some Netflix with his hedgehog anymore. Got all these needy boys needin' a ride."

▲▲▲ I've had a few people tell me this before. But I read some threads like fanfiction, too. It'snot that weird to me at all. Carry on, Anonymous.

           Another party at the cabin, and there Lea sat on the icy balcony that overlooked the angry ocean and purple mountain majesty of Washington state. Sleepy moonlight, bright enough to put the churning salty froth on display, cascaded from overhead, and the world was projected as a film noir that could've only been so beautifully executed by the will of Mother Nature. Lea took it all in with a cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth, and the mucky gray sand he suddenly wanted to venture across was shrouded by the briny air and potential snow that was a rarity for any kind of coastal location.           From the inside of the fire-warmed cabin, he could hear RJ's sweet projecting laughter that left his guts warmed and gloved fingers trembling. He held his mug of cider flavored whiskey closer to his person and thought about the way blond hair lined the back of Roxas' neck and how his hot breath fanned out along his lips when the 'pure and simple' boy approached him for 'platonic' kisses. Lea wanted to finish his mug and melt away with Roxas for the night; make him his over and over again in their shared bedroom. But he was hosting a party, a party he was shockingly not being very social at.           "I heard Ventus was on his way," Demyx announced from behind Lea.            Lea quirked an eyebrow, ignored the spike in his heart rate and then rolled his lips together. "No one invited him."           "Since when do people need invites for your parties?"           Point made, and Lea didn't argue or make a fuss. The fussing between him and Ventus only occurred when they were face-to-face and a couple drinks down the road. Lea stood up and decided he'd have to buffer the situation by drifting into the living room where Roxas was co-hosting avidly, flawlessly, dutifully, and warn him. As he walked back inside with boots crunching ice, he spotted that very blond in one of his baggy knit sweaters and sagging beanies. Lea rolled his lips, smiled and then ventured up behind RJ's distracted frame. Without warning, he wrapped his arms around the boy's waist only to then lean forward over his shoulder and give his cheek a dewy kiss.           "Hey, beautiful," he murmured.            But before the warning could come forth, the front door of the cabin opened with a jolt and in walked the elusively infamous on again and currently off again boyfriend known as Ventus. Lea's eyes flickered upward at the swan-like figure, and he swallowed spit at the pristine image of such a 'good boy' that so many had once considered the darling of Lea's group pre-break up. Afterward, he'd gone into hiding, but his appearances still turned heads, and it never took long for his name to be followed by Lea's.             Caught in a compromising position with RJ, Lea didn't jerk away, but as soon as Ventus made eye contact with him, his tongue went dry.            "Ventus!" Demyx yelled, and the bubbling laughter in Ventus' following greeting made Lea tense hard enough for RJ to feel. 

Fucking the person he’s trying to get revenge on’s boyfriend has done the trick more than once. Lea might be a bit of an absentminded goofball when he’s being casual with his friends, but if you’ve pissed him off enough times to make him feel threatened, then he’ll destroy your life as quickly as he can snap his fingers. While this might be a dirty way to play the game, Lea will be the first to admit it’s gotten him ahead much faster than if he were passive about those worming beneath his skin. 

          “Way to just shit the most uncomfortable question you could ask someone who’s a part of my generation right into my unsuspecting mouth.” He slanted his lips only to curl the raised half into a disenchanted sneer. It was followed by an unforgiving eye roll and blatant sigh of reluctance. “I don’t know. In a year or two I’d like to have the credentials to have more of a say in the magazine I work for, but that’s the big one. The smaller, more realistic, goals I have in the brewery would be to remember to bring my camera with me more often, stuff a box of condoms into my glove compartment and figure out where the hell my convoluted love life is going. I’d really like to stop making pretty boys cry.”          He rolled his head to the side and pursed his lips. “Look — I’m twenty-one, and there isn’t much for me to overthink right now because I pointedly put myself in that position. Life’s so much better knowing I’m not facing the big reality so many of peers are right now. Like, this boy I’m pounding on the regular? He’s in art school, and I thank my falling stars I decided to skip that horrible step. Too stressful. Fuck that.” 

Hell to the no. Even though Lea’s brimming with internalized homophobia to the point where he can’t handle overhearing other men have sex with one another, Lea sees the ‘no accidental children’ perk in being queer. That said, if Lea were to get past the faint disgust he has with being queer and a part of queer culture enough to settle down with someone, he still probably wouldn’t be interested in being a father. Too selfish, too disturbed, too dependent on his freedom to make time for a ‘bastard.’ 

          "Boy toy is napping, and I ain't got a whole hell of a lot to do."

Not to be a jerk or anything, but it’s incredibly difficult to notice someone who’s on Anonymous. Maybe dismantle the gray face and I can get to noticing you a little better? But until then? Sorry. Can’t help you.