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813 dick n ass stand up ππΎπ
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Tampa 813
813 Copeland park area
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813 here!

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I have $24 to last me til Friday, what should I buy with it?
a pallet of ramen noodles
I hate ramen noodles tho
hmmmmm bees?
Are you suggesting that I eat bees for a week
This is roughly what I make sure I have in my kitchen all the time along with rough estimates of local prices (MN). I buy a lot of things when theyβre on sale and stockpile them.Β
instant oatmeal packets with fruit in them - $3 probably and this can be breakfast all week and maybe even a lunch or dinner too since you usually get 10 packets
bag of rice - $2-3 depending on size. 1 cup dry rice makes enough for about two meals depending on what you add in. if you get cheap rice, rinse it before cooking
canned beans - usually under $1 per can - mix the can with your rice and you have a meal. chili-spiced beans will make bean tacos. Rinse non-spiced beans before adding to anything.
Tortilla - usually around $3 but you get like 8-10 of them. Tacos, wraps, and quesadillas are all fair game here
lettuce - $2 max around here, either a head of something or bagged precut depending on preference, use as a salad or on tacos
protein other than beans of some sort - probably $5-7 for meat, $2-3 for eggs. sometimes I can get bags of frozen chicken breasts in this price range and each is usually 2 meals if I add in a bunch of veggies. fry/scramble eggs and add to any of the options.Β
your favorite stir fry sauce - $3ish
vegetables - $5ish. literally anything that you can 1. fry in a pan and 2. youβll eat. fresh carrots are usually pretty cheap. get frozen if itβs cheaper and youβre strapped for cash/prep time on this part.Β
alternative to stir fry: Β pasta (~$2), fresh tomatoes (~$2), cheese (~$3).Β
cheese and fruit if you have extra - look if your store has loyalty cards for free that you can load coupons on for cheese thereβs always one it seems like.
ahh thank you!!!
Reblogging because thereβs never knowing whoβll need it.
Adding also: the single most nutritious food on earth is potatoes in their peel. Potatoes + some milk and butter = everything you need. They donβt last all that long, but theyβre fairly cheap and the quickest cheat to βHow do I not fuck my body up.β
(Cooked potatoesβll last a while in the fridge. Potatoes nearing the end of their useful lives? Cook them to half-done first, figure out what to do with them later.)
Easiest baked potatoes: slice thinly but not paper-like, spread like cards, brush with oil (a silicone baking brush is totes worth the little it costs), spread salt and pepper (a little less than you think youβd like), cover with foil, stick in oven or toaster-oven at 150C for 40min. (If you have the patience, at that point click up to 180C, remove the cover and add 10-20min.) Reheats well, lasts in the fridge longer than itβll take you to nom.
Dead-Animal-Free Whole Protein: some legumes + some grain. AKA rice and lentils, or rice and beans. (Maybe some fried onion for flavor; onionβs cheap and stays good a descent while. Fried onion makes everything taste better and keeps forever in the freezer, so frying up a bunch and keeping portions is not a half-bad idea.) (If going for the beans option - lentils are cheaper around here but fuck if I know what itβs like in your area - dump some tomato sauce and oil in; canola or soy are best health-wise, and far cheaper than olive; avoid corn.) Oh, what does instant couscous go for in your area? It keeps for fucking ever, itβs usually cheap, and it takes well to any and all added taste.
If you get to choose, black lentils taste the best and need the least soak-time (0-20min), green lentils are best for cooked stuff and red lentils are best in soups. (Red lentils + potatoes + root vegetables of choice + spices; cut into small pieces, cook, run through the blender if you wanna [stick blenderβs awesome], freeze in portions.)
When possible, get instant soup mix. Get the good instant soup mix. (The kind thatβs not made primarily of sugar, yeast or both. The rest is optional.) Dump 1/2tsp (or more, but start on the low end) into couscous, or chicken, or sprinkle over potatoes being stuck in the oven. Whatever. Itβll make most cooked-food-type things taste better. And again, lasts forever on the shelf.
IfΒ you can have eggs (goodness knows theyβre sometimes expensive), dump some tomato sauce in a pan (tomato sauce lasts forever on the shelf), add some oil, onion/beans to cook in it, hot peppers if you wanna, then when itβs nearly ready crack an egg or two in. Hard-boiled eggs last a remarkably while in the fridge, so when eggs reach near the end of their usable lives, just hard-boil and stick in the fridge. (Have eggs as often as you can, particularly as you have brain-shit going on. You need all the eggs, salt, and 60%-or-more chocolate you can get. Brains are made of cholesterol and salt, so folks with neuro or other brain shit need more of both. Potassium is also aces. You know what has the most potassium? Tomato paste.) Grated cheese keeps in the freezer for ever. Grated cheese will make a lot of things taste nicer. Preserved lemon juice keeps forever in the fridge. Grated cheese + oil + lemon = instant and awesome pasta sauce thatβll liven up the weeks-old dry pasta in the fridge. Slices bread also keeps well in the freezer. Try to have half a loaf or a loaf. Dry bread gets cut in cubes, mixed with oil and the aforementioned instant soup, stuck in oven at lowest until properly dry, then kept in an airtight jar to add to soups. (Over-ripe tomatoes come cheaper. They get turned into soup or sauce, then frozen in portions.)
this is a very good post but why are we glossing over the fact that the alternative to ramen is bees
i have it on pretty good authority that bees are notΒ an affordable eating alternative to ramen.
Seriously, bees are expensive
Trufax.Β
And speaking as someone who is also living off oatmeal, beans, and brown rice, if you need recipes, I have them!Β
Today I made 16 bean soup with chicken sausage and it was crazy good and I got 8 servings out of the one batch (froze half). I usually get the cheapest beans I can find, and GOYA bags of beans are usually $1-2. I soaked them overnight,rinsed them, and threw them in a gallon lidded saucepan with 2 boxes of chicken stock (also on sale for $2), two bay leaves, sauteed green pepper, onion, and celery, some garlic from a jar, about two tablespoons of dried herbs de provence,and theΒ βfancyβ bit was adding $6 bourbon and apple chicken sausages. You can actually sub veg stock for chicken and skip the sausage and make it vegan and it would still taste great.
Oh and Iβve been doing steel-cut oats. I donβt buy the name brand ones, I just pick whatever store brand/generic I can get for less than $4. They take about Β½ an hour to make, but theyβre super tasty and I make 2 cups of dried oats at a time with dried cranberries and thatβs breakfast for 4 days at least.Β
Iβve also been making black bean soup, red beans and rice, and curried potatoes and chick peas. I got 100 quart and pint take-away containers from Amazon for $20 and they all stack neatly and are perf for one serving of whatever.
Additionally, depending on where you live, whole rotisserie chickens are something like $4-$7 and are easily 4 - 6 servings of protein and on TOP of that, if you stick the carcass in a ziplock bag and then the freezer you have excellent soup makings. Using bones in soup literally squeezes all viable vitamins and minerals out of the suckers. Soup made from lots of bones is great to keep around if you get sick, itβll feed and sooth you relatively easily and as you get better you can add noodles. ON TOP OF THAT, a quarter to a half cup of soup broth added to a lot of dishes also adds those nutrients PLUS flavor.
Hereβs my βHow to eat for a week on $30β³ post.
donβt forget Good and Cheap: Eat Well on $4 A Day
Yall are clutch for this lmao cuz ima need this for about the first month after I move
Reblogging cause who knows what your followers are going through rn
Reblogging, bc you never know who is in a rough patch, or who lost their job, and may need cheap eats.
Reblog this if you enjoy dirty private messaging with other kinky people!
Absolutely adore it!
Love itβ¦who wants to??
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Go on ladies
I definitely would love to receive messages from all sorts of kinky people.

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Sex deprived?
Have you ever got to the point, that everyone you look at looks hot?! I noticed last night, every woman i saw, I bit my lip and groaned. It has definitely been a while since I've had any. I saw women, MILFs, GILFS, and I just had to keep my groans to myself..
REBLOG IF YOU WANT SOME DIRTY ANONS IN YOUR INBOX
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Always ok, I'm an open book, if you read
Okay seriously. Reblog if you're OLDER than 11.
why is it that not more than 1/20 of Tumblr havenβt reblogged this
Definitely older than 11

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Yaaaawn ~ Feeling lazy haha
Reblog: Get a nude π
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Do you want to talk with me? Colofloyd my kik π
Reblog if you want your inbox filled with hypnosis stuff, anywhere from pics to gifs to spirals to videos and more!!!
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Always do

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I will check to make sure this happens *grins*
Reblog this if you live in South Florida
813