Service Oriented Sub

It’s always nice when you start off your day right. And what better way to begin your day than doing something you love? - that is, to serve your partner or to be pampered and served by them.

Breakfasts in bed can be a great call in this way. They create a special and fun atmosphere that can be turned into very nice intimate ritual. They are also a sweet way to show your partner(s) that you care about them, and that you find them beautiful, attractive and worth of worship at any time of the day - any time, yes, even if they have a morning face and are wearing nothing other than their old pijamas. 

In a D/s dynamic this type of morning ritual can evolve into different scenarios based on the people and their interests. It can be nothing more than a little sweet romantic gesture (a moment to stay in bed, chill, cuddle and snuggle each other) or it can evolve into a big teasing game (e.g. a gradual build up that leads to a hot “good-morning-sex”), or it can be a perfect time to play with each other and spend good D/s quality time (e.g. boss your partner around, demand services of all sorts, unleash “bitchy” and mean vibes as part of the play, be adored and worshipped in an intense way, demand big demonstrations of obedience etc). Mornings can be a great time to play.

And although it might look as if breakfast in bed is something that only would benefit or be a source of pleasure for only the one person who’s being treated with this nice experience, the truth is that some “subs” would absolutely love it to death if someone would ask or demand them once in a while to perform that type of service, and I mean it. I know I do, at least. 

So, yes, there are men out there who actually get turned on by the prospective of being your morning servant and bringing you breakfast in bed. 

With that in mind, here are some tips for a nice breakfast-in-bed experience, aimed specially for the subs who want to treat their play-partners, and the ladies who love that type of attention: 

Breakfast in bed tips:

Make it personal:  learn your partner’s tastes and preferences (what they like to eat, drink, the amount of food they enjoy in the morning, etc). 

Dont be lazy, get a tray: it’s no fun to get your bed dirty (at least not in that way hehe), so put everything on a tray and serve your partner properly.

Arrange the food so it looks beautiful in the plate:  put some special effort into what you’re doing. Don’t focus only in the taste of the food, but also in making it pleasant to look at: think of it not only as a meal, but as a mini piece of art. You can always also add flowers and other nice little touches, for this purpose.

Consider choosing one style of breakfast and turning it into a whole experience: e.g. choose from a Full English breakfast, Tropical breakfast, Continental/French breakfast, Traditional American breakfast etc, and buy all the ingredient you’ll need ahead of time, so you don’t waste time in the morning doing that.

Be stealth like a ninja. Or ok, just try to be quiet: this is important, you don’t want to wake up the person in an unpleasant way. You might consider chopping or mixing ingredients the night before, if you can, in order to minimise the noise, for example. 

Be a good boy and clean the kitchen and all the dishes, will you: be sure to clean up after yourself. After all, there’s no point in treating her a nice breakfast in bed if she’d have to deal with a dirty kitchen afterwards. So take initiative and clean everything, every-single-thing, I mean it.

So you love being of service and can’t get enough of it? Show it, then!   write her a sweet note and leave it on the tray thanking her for the opportunity. Give her a foot rub, while she relaxes, or help her plan the day ahead. Ask her if she’d like to be pleased orally, or in the mood for anything else and, if she is, focus on that. Make the bed after she’s up. Offer to clean the room. Help her shower/bath. Plan a special thing for you to do together after breakfast. (etc)

And last but not least,

 a tip for ladies: if you see something you like, if there’s something you dream about, if you have something you desire, say it, and say it with all the words you can. Society often teaches women not to voice their needs, and, sadly, sometimes we worry too much about that. So don’t hesitate and be as vocal as you can about the things you want in this way; subs in general tend to appreciate that and chances are you’ll probably end up getting everything you want. Don’t worry about a sub seeing you as annoying, nagging, bitchy, demanding, or any of that: if anything, it will have the opposite effect and might be a huge turn on for them. And if not, then, well, their loss.

Have fun, and feel free to add things if you have any more tips ;)

Sure. Internalized misandry is the counterpart to internalized misogyny. If you google internalized misogyny and reverse the genders, the attitudes and mindsets are exactly the same.

Some examples off the top of my head:

Internalized misogyny: “I’m not like other girls. I don’t get all emotional whenever I break a nail.”

Internalized misandry: “Look at that dude crying at a sappy movie. What a pussy.”

Or: “He said he can’t do poker night because he’s taking his girlfriend out. He’s so whipped.”

Or: “Oh dude, you like it up the ass? What are you, gay or something?”

A more well-known term is toxic masculinity.

But the problem with saying “toxic masculinity” is that many guys hear it and immediately assume it means that ALL masculinity is toxic, or that those who recognize the existence of it want to vilify all men.

It’s just become such a loaded term, that some men become defensive upon hearing it, and any chance at a constructive conversation is gone.

Even though (sane) men’s rights groups (yeah I’m looking at you, NCFM and MGTOW. Ya’ll are legitimately nuts) recognize the existence of toxic masculinity, and put a lot of thought into how to combat it. You look at Men’s Movement, and they have actually written a lot about it and how it actively harms boys and men, and some steps we as individuals can take to combat it.

Even sites like Playboy and Cosmo have touched on how it limits a man’s sexuality and sexual expression, because it forces him to fit into this perfect, stereotypical man-shaped box. And while that box is great for some men, the idea that ALL men should fit into it is legitimately toxic.

But none of that matters to someone who has convinced himself that anyone who says “toxic masculinity” hates all men.

But internalized misandry, which is literally the exact same thing, doesn’t carry that same stigma. I can have discussions with those on the right about the problems facing men today, and they don’t immediately shut down when they hear that term, like they do when they hear toxic masculinity.

Conversations stay productive, and we can at least civilly agree to disagree, instead of the discussion devolving into an argument.