𝑒𝓂𝒾𝓁𝓎

i feel the semblance of reality around me

it had once known me but not exclusively

seldom had i thought a painted picture true

an idea of something real but nothing tangible

a photograph that i may trace the edges of

but i never live to see myself within

a feeling of two shadow people dancing within myself

a kind of people who exist without restriction

a world without color

a paint brush with no purpose

once i saw a painted picture true

and I weep at it's sheer beauty in the presence of horror shone through the light of love and the sole being of humanity there once would lay our souls that we expose to one another in a timeless inkling when we were nothing but our parts.

the little cities we destroyed

or the walls we tore apart;

and no i was never thrilled

to now look for reasons to avoid

the streets we once walked in

the home we once lived in

now diminished to remnants 

novelty has long since past

and in my dreams we were made to last

if only we had known what you would’ve done

as quick as it were i miss the blocks

id walk them in between you and me

hoping if at all you’d even see

when you left you took my home

 in one ear and out the other we didn’t listen to each other we placed our hearts at a distance now you’re just left reminiscing us

but you never edged any closer now im stuck wishing there was closure and you don’t make apologies despite how fucking cruel you can be

i still wonder was it worth being alone then again at least you’ve got your phone

to call her up if your bed’s getting too cold she’s a placeholder for the one you cannot hold

go sink into the abyss that was your bed who knew the catalyst would be demons in your head guess i should’ve left you sooner instead of trusting someone with a heart that’s already dead

oh to wade in your water the kind you’d only worship if it were the son of a carpenter i worship no sort of king but admire the people who do

for what a wonderful thing to have faith in this suggestion you’ll never be able to sense

i hadn't sensed you much the same yet i feel you close when it rains like when a person brushes their lovers hand.. to remind them they’re there