prevail

Serena blinks, turning and looking at Ellie with bewildered eyes. “What the hell are you talking about?” This is sudden. Out of the blue. What did she do to make Ellie so angry?

"Morning, sunshine."

In the end, Ellie had told herself that she was indeed happy to just be beside her friend and wait as she sorted things out. For a few moments, the two of them stood there in silence until Serena turned around and crashed her lips against hers. Immediately her stomach flipped, her lips burning at the touch of Serena’s. Ellie knew that she shouldn’t be doing this – that her best friend was in a vulnerable place and that she should pull away, she should stop. But she couldn’t. Instead, her hands wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer, feeling the warmth radiate from her body. As the kiss deepens, she’s almost sure that Serena could hear her heart beat at a million miles per hour, the pure rush of adrenaline coursing through her body. She was enjoying this, every moment. Even though she knew the guilt would settle in. Slowly, she pulls away from Serena, a breath of air shakily leaving her mouth as she lightly brushes her lips against the red head’s. Bliss, pure and utter bliss. “Serena…” she starts, closing her eyes as she rests her forehead onto the other. “You are a beautiful, amazing, incredibly woman.” I love you, I want to be with you. Let’s do it. Run away. The two of us, together. It was such a silly notion and Ellie almost laughed at herself. She couldn’t help but wonder what it was about Serena that caused her to become this… different person. Herself, maybe. “I don’t want to make things complicated for you.” Because she didn’t. She did, but she didn’t. Her happiness went above all. “That?” Laughing lightly, she let out another slow breath of air and pulls away from her forehead. Her hand reached up to her cheek, a small smile on her face. The only kind of smile that Serena saw – the genuine kind. “Was amazing. And I – I want that. I do. I won’t lie to you. I want you. I want to be with you. But, but do you want that, too? Truly?” Licking her lips, her smile falls as she turns away from her friend, pulling her entire body away from her a few inches. Looking out into the ocean, she laces her fingers with Serena’s. “Seeing you happy makes me happy. That’s all I want.” 

"I'm d-done."

Serena gives a soft smile when Clay laughs, then pours more creamer into her coffee. "Eh. Studying. Didnt prioritize well enough. I'm glad I got to see that, though." She replies over her shoulder, before she turns, sipping from her mug. She's listening, nodding at first, but then her smile wavers. Montgomery. It's so easy to forget that her best friend (girlfriend? Oh, no. Not ready to cross that bridge.) may not be as saint like around others than she is around Serena. "Well. Congrats. Quite the realization." She raises her coffee mug before taking another sip. "Me? I'm fine. Doing well." Is she? She's not sure. She's broken up with her boyfriend, consumed too much alcohol, and kissed her best friend. All in a matter of whirlwind days. But she won't acknowledge all of that unless she has to. "Yeah. Doing well. Shall we celebrate your victory, then? I'm sure I could find a drink or something somewhere."

"Morning, sunshine."

Because I love you. Serena can understand almost everything about Ellie. Why she likes her skirts hemmed a certain way. Why one side of her hair is sometimes straighter than the other. Why she likes cinnamon on her hot chocolate. But despite everything, Serena can never bring herself to understand how the hell Ellie manages to put her emotions upfront so fearlessly. Meanwhile, she is slipping into stormy waters. In it for the long run. "Of course." She nods before sliding away. Once she emerges, they are right off to their destination. "Sounds nice..." She murmurs after her friend's description, though her voice dwindles as she receives a compliment. Usually, she'd grin, dimples flaring, and give some sort of self-absorbed comeback. But her defenses have fallen, and she's drowning in the waters. Her protective walls have slipped away, leaving her a victim of the elements. She focuses on keeping her head above water, inhaling as she is sent into a whirlwind. Her feet land upon jagged rocks and the only reason that she is not tumbling over the edge is because of the hand that she's anchored to. Momentarily, she clings to her friend, then exhales and reinstalls their distance from one another. She angles herself away, looking to the water, trying to inhale. And then it becomes easier. I know it's been hard. And suddenly she can breathe again. Here. Here is someone who understands. Who will consider her. Who takes her seriously. Someone who cares. Had Serena always been this stupid? This blind? I'll always be right here. In the past, she would've tossed the comment away in disbelief. Everyone left in some way, shape, or form. They all did. But this time is different. This time, for perhaps the first time, Serena believes. Ellie is different. Ellie is here. And so, among the salt in the air and the waves of the sea, Serena cups her friend's cheeks and kisses her hard. She closes her eyes, holds her breath, counts the seconds, and tries to convince herself that she is loved.

"Morning, sunshine."

"Ah, not every night. Just the nights where you feel like drinking away your problems help with everything, correct?” Problem. That was exactly what Ellie was causing things to be between the two of them and she didn’t want that. The last thing she wanted, that she could ever want was for her to lose her best friend. Not in any lifetime, no. “If you were a Woodsen, I probably would have shoved you through a wall by now. Especially Genevieve — Ugh.” Shaking her head and shivering at the thought of befriending that hooligan, she shook her head and sighed heavily as Serena left the room. Alone with her thoughts once again; half of her just wanted to throw herself at her best friend and let everything just… happen. Then there was the extremely logical side of her that told her she’d be a fucking mess if that happened. The both of them. It wasn’t the right time - maybe it never would be. Turning as Serena announced she was done, Ellie licked her lips and nodded her head. “Of course you gorgeous little — ugh, how do you look good all the time? Even when hung over? I could kiss you right now.” Pausing after her last statement, she shrugged her shoulders and tossed her a pair of shoes. “Let’s go. We’re going into town.”

"Morning, sunshine."

"What do you think I’m doing here?" She replies to her question with the harsh tone that was known for the girl. Turning towards Serena, however, Ellie sported a light smile and she looked down. Shaking her head, she looked back up and moved to the tray of food onto Serena’s lap. "I’m feeding you breakfast, because god knows what the hell you would have eaten with you looking like that.” Rolling her eyes, she moves towards the girl’s closet and beings to pick out an outfit, not bothering to look back to see if Serena had even taken a bite of the food. She probably didn’t. “Eat some of the toast at least, you need food in you. What the hell have you been doing? Getting drunk off your ass every night? That’s such a Woodsen-esque thing to do. Puke.” Pulling out a champagne t-shirt style dress by Alexander Wang, she turned and held it up to Serena, nodding her head in approval. “This will do, with, hmm….” Pulling out a skinny brown belt, she started to move towards Serena. “Eat, get dress — oh, where did I put it…” Pulling out make up removers and face fresher wipes, she handed placed them on the edge of the bed. “Light make up, dear. And do something with your hair… It looks horrible.”

{Serena sighs at her friend's tone, sitting up a bit more and sliding the blanket away from her face. As she looks at the tray, she can't help but let her nose wrinkle, the thought of food making her want to be sick.} Not every night. {She replies in a lame attempt at defense, frowning.} And I'm certainly not Woodsen. {All the same, she takes a bite of the toast, swallowing hard. She's almost glad to take the dress and wipes -- it gives her something to do other than eat.} Always so kind. {She manages some attempt at snark before going to the bathroom. She winces as the light turns on, blinking a few times and cringing once more as she sees her reflection. Well, Ellie certainly had a point. She wipes all smeared remains of makeup from her face and takes a brush back through her hair before changing, fastening the belt tight around her waist and pulling her hair into a bun. With a bit of blush and a light line of eyeliner and mascara, she's nearly herself again. Adding a touch of lip gloss, she forces her reflection to give a smile before stepping out of the bathroom, feet bare.} Better?

{If I look anything like I feel, I'm fucked. That's Serena's second thought, after acknowledging just how badly her head is throbbing. And she's sure she looks like hell. Her hair is tangled, her eyes burn. And, for god's sake, she's wearing a tank top and sweatpants. Sweatpants. Sighing heavily into the pillow she's planted her face into, Serena rakes a hand through her hair before rolling over and tugging the blanket down slightly. Only bloodshot hazel eyes and a red nose skim over the edge of the quilt. Despite Ellie's questions and obvious advances, Serena only utters one thing, her voice a rasp.} W-What are you doing here?