🀧𝒍𝒊𝒛🀦

𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗶𝘁

name: liz

age: 8teen

zodiac: taurus sun, scorpio moon, & aries rising

this acc is my escape from my everyday from life and if you couldn't tell i love to write and this acc is lowkey a boylife centered acc (rommulas biased DUH) but i dont mind writing for anything else (if ik about it ofc) if requested.

✖ dni if you're racist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic, or just a horrible person ✖

a/n: you onto something...@porcelainprincess11 👀

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You sit at home lounging around as you didn't plan to do anything this evening since Roman wasn't home at the moment. He said something about taking some photos but that's all he said before he left so since then you've been occupying yourself by watching your favorite show. After a few hours the turn of the lock on the door gets your attention and Roman walks in. You smile softly at him but then you notice his wavy hair is now straight. "You straightened your hair?" you ask, crawling closer top the edge of the bed to see him.

He smiled softly at your question, running a hand through his now-straight hair. "Yeah, I did," he said quietly, kicking off his shoes and unbuttoning his shirt carelessly. "Your hair looks really healthy look how long it's grown." You murmur softly as you run your fingers through his long silky hair. Roman hummed in appreciation, his eyes fluttering shut as your fingers worked through the strands. As your fingers gently played with the silky strands, Roman suddenly turned his head, pressing a quick kiss to your palm.

You smile softly and lean in to give him a kiss.He mets you halfway, the kiss slow and tender, tasting faintly of the mint gum he'd likely chewed on the way home. One of his hands came up to rest gently against your jaw, his thumb stroking your cheek, while the other arm wrapped loosely around your waist to pull you a little closer. His lips lingered, the kiss deepening, turning slow and lazy. His hand slid from your jaw to the back of your neck, fingers tangling into your hair as he pulled you flush against him.

The straight strands of his hair fell forward, framing both your faces. "Missed you," he murmured against your lips. You hummed against his lips inching forward onto his lap your unbuttoned tanktop catching his eyes. A low, appreciative sound leaves him as you settled onto his lap, his hands instinctively gripping your waist to steady you. His gaze dropped to your open top, his eyes filled with obvious arousal as your cleavage caught his attention.

Without a word, he leaned forward, pressing open-mouthed kisses along your collarbone and up your neck. His hands slid up your sides, thumbs brushing the underside of your breasts through the thin fabric of your top. He rocked his hips up slightly, pressing his growing hardness against your ass. "You're not wearing a bra," he observed, his thumbs continued their gentle caress under your breasts, "Fuck, that's hot."

He bit gently at your nipple through the fabric, causing a soft gasp to escape your lips. Roman's hips twitched, pressing his hard dick against you more insistently. His hands slide up to cup your breasts fully now, squeezing gently as his other hand snakes down to grip your thigh, pulling it up and over his hip so you were straddling him more fully, "Lift up." You obediently lifted your hips, allowing him to tug your shorts and panties down in one smooth motion.

Roman's fingers found their way between your folds, already soaking wet. He slid two inside with ease, curling them upwards to press against that perfect spot while his thumb circled your clit with practiced ease. You moan softly your eyes fluttering shut as you focus on Roman's fingers inside you. You slowly rock against his fingers but your hands finding the waistband of his pants and you tug on it.

Roman groaned against your skin, his fingers working you deeper as he felt your hands at his waistband. He lifted his hips slightly to help you slide his pants and boxers down just enough to free his hard dick. "Fuck, baby," he muttered, "Slide down on it." He guided your hips down, helping you align himself with your entrance. You sank down slowly, stretching perfectly around him, taking every inch deep until you were fully seated. "There you go..." he groaned, "Good girl." He tapped your thigh gently, "Ride me."

You begin to move, lifting your hips and sinking back down, setting a slow, deep rhythm. Each downward stroke makes him grunt, his hands gripping your thighs to help guide your pace. Your bare breasts bounced with each motion, his eyes glued to them. Roman's thumb found your clit again, rubbing tight circles as you fucked yourself on his dick, "Look at you."

Quick huffs and whimpers leave your lips, as you look down at his eyes. It feels so good that you anchor yourself by clutching his straightened hair in your hands. The tug on his hair gets a unexpected noise from him. The moment you tugged on his hair, his hips bucking up violently into yours. The sensation clearly sent a jolt of pleasure straight down his spine, his fingers digging bruisingly into your thighs. "Fuck-" he choked out, his head tipping back into your grip, "Pull it again."

His breath hitched as you tugged his hair again, and he gave a low, pleased sound. The sensation of you grabbing and pulling his long, silky hair while riding him had him in ecstasy. He could feel his dick twitching inside you with each tug. "Harder," he begged. You gave a sharp tug on his straight hair, pulling his head back firmly. Roman moaned instantly, the sensation clearly short-circuited his brain, turning him into a needy mess, "Fuck- yes, just like that," he whispered, "keep pulling."

You obeyed, gripping fistfuls of his straight hair and yanking downward as you rode him. Each tug elicited a strangled sound from Roman something between a groan and a whimper. His hips bucked frantically now, chasing the pleasure your hands gave him. His thumb dug into your clit harder, faster, matching your rhythm, "Shit... shit..."

"I'm gonna come," he says breathlessly, his voice cracking as you gave his hair another sharp tug. His hips were going up into you uncontrollably now, losing all rhythm. "Don't stop pulling, fuck don't stop." You watched his face contort with pleasure as his hips twitched. You pulled his hair again, harder this time, eager to see just how far you could push him. Roman's eyes rolled back, a strangled noise escaping his lips as you gave his hair a sharp tug. His entire body shuddered violently beneath you and then it was over. His release flooded you in waves, making you whimper softly as you finished with him. His hands slipped off your thighs, falling limp at his sides as he struggled to catch his breath, "...fuck.

Roman went completely limp as he layed back on the mattress his long, straight hair spread messy across the sheets. His chest was heaving, face flushed and eyes heavy with satisfaction. Clearly, having his hair pulled had absolutely destroyed him. "Holy shit..." he said softly. *You grinned, watching his wrecked state. "You liked that huh?" you teased, voice breathless.

Roman blinked slowly, still catching his breath. He nodded weakly, "Fuck, yeah. You just... you ruined my brain." You scoot closer to him, "I mean, is that all it takes?" you giggled softly, running your fingers through his messy hair. You looked down at him, "A simple hair pull and you're trembling mess?" Roman opened one eye lazily, reaching up to tug you back down on top of him, "Oh shut up."

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FINE ASS PAPI

POV: arguing with hollis cuz he got rid of his platinum blonde bussdown 😞😞

𝗧𝗢𝗫𝗜𝗖!𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗠𝗨𝗟𝗔𝗦 𝗫 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗘𝗥

part 16

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The apartment door flies open and Sage is rushing in purse half falling off her shoulder. She sees you curled up on the floor with your arms wrapped around your knees and face buried. She drops down beside you pulling you into her arms. Sage presses a hand against the back of your head letting you cry.

There was no magic sentence or perfect advice she could give you so she just stays and comforta you silently. Eventually your crying slows and Sage pulls back enough to look at you. Your face is red, your eyes swollen, you look absolutely miserable. She cups your face wiping away tears with her thumbs, "Hey you're not doing this by yourself."

Sage gets you off the floor onto the couch wraps a blanket around your shoulders and forces you to drink water. You've always been emotional and always cried but this is different. You look hollow like somebody scooped your insides out. Sage is sitting beside you one leg tucked underneath herself still holding your hand, "Tell me what happened."

"The test was positive." Sage nods she already knows that part, "What happened after that?" You stare at your lap then the words start spilling out, "He freaked out he kept saying we had to decide. He wanted to go tomorrow to planned parenthood." A tear slides down your cheek, "He kept saying he couldn't do it and saying he couldn't have a baby. But I told him I needed time and he got mad. He kept acting like I was stupid and said we needed to be realistic."

You look down voice getting smaller, "I told him I didn't want to regret it and I called it our baby on accident. He told me not to call it that he kept saying don't call it that and then he...left." Sage takes a deep breath she has about seven hundred things she wants to say most of them involving Roman and none of them helpful so instead she asks, "Okay, can I ask you something?" Sage shifts closer still holding your hand refusing to let go, "Forget Roman, me, and everybody else. What do YOU want?"

"I don't know I really don't know." A tear slides down your face, "I keep trying to think about it and I just..." You shake your head, "I don't know. I know everything Roman said is true but...what if I regret it? What if I do it because I'm scared and then I spend the rest of my life thinking what if?" You sniff softly closing your eyes trying to not cry again, "What if I wonder who they would've been, what they would've looked like, or what if I keep thinking about birthdays that never happened?"

You wipe your face, "I don't know if I want a baby but I know I don't want to make a decision tonight. I don't want to decide because Roman is scared or because I'm scared either. I just need time I think that's what I want." Sage squeezes your hand and nods, "Okay then you'll take your time."

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Roman doesn't know how long he's been driving twenty minutes maybe an hour he couldn't tell. Eventually he pulls into an empty parking lot just sits there hands gripping the steering wheel and trying to breathe, "...Fuck." His phone is sitting in the cupholder he stares at it then grabs it. His search history is already a disaster.

• planned parenthood abortion appointment

• abortion cost

• what if girlfriend doesn't want abortion

• can pregnancy tests be wrong after positive

• false positive pregnancy test

• how expensive is a baby

• average cost of raising a child

• what happens if parents disagree about pregnancy

Roman scrolls through page after page. Reading, closing it, opening another, reading half a sentence, then closing it. Nothing helps every article says something different and every answer leads to another question. He throws his phone onto the passenger seat, "Jesus fucking Christ." He leans forward forehead hitting the steering wheel eyes squeezed shut.

He needs somebody but he doesn't want to call Hollis and the guys. His thumb hovers over his brother's contact and almost backs out Roman doesn't like to ask for help. His thumb presses the call button and Roman almost hangs up but then his brother's voice comes through the speaker, "Yo." Roman opens his mouth but nothing comes out. His brother frowns, "Roman, everything alright?"

"...No."

"What happened?"

He tries to say it, "I..." His throat closes, "Can we just talk."

"Yeah."

Roman then decides to just get it over with and say it, "She's pregnant."

"You sure?"

Roman lets out a dry laugh, "I watched her take the test its positive."

"Well where's Y/N?"

Roman stares through the windshield, "At the apartment."

"And where are you?"

"In my car."

"You left her?"

Roman immediately gets defensive, "I couldn't stay there-"

"I didn't ask why I asked if you left her."

Roman clenches his jaw, "Yeah."

"Jesus Christ, Roman."

Roman rolls his eyes, "Oh, here we go."

"Don't start acting like I'm the problem."

Roman scoffs, "You don't even know what happened."

"Then tell me."

Roman pinches the bridge of his nose, We argued."

"About?"

"What the fuck do you think? We argued about the pregnancy and I told her we should get rid of it. But she wanted to think about it so we fought."

"How bad?"

Roman hesitates, "Uh bad."

"Is anybody with her?"

Roman shrugs and answers without thinking, "I mean I wouldn't know I blocked Sage."

"Bro what on who's phone."

"On Y/N's..."

"Are you out of your fucking mind?!"

Roman pulls the phone away from his ear, "What?"

"What do you MEAN what? She just found out she's pregnant and you blocked the one person she'd probably call?"

"I wasn't thinking!"

"Bullshit you were thinking you just weren't thinking about HER."

Roman's face hardens, "I just wanted it to be us just be me and her."

"So you blocked her best friend?"

"I-"

"So you blocked her best friend?"

Roman stays quiet but his brother doesn't let him off the hook, "Did she ask you to?"

"No."

"Did she know?"

"No."

"So whose decision was that?"

Roman rubs his forehead, "Mine."

His brother exhales a long, tired breath, "I'm done yelling me yelling at you isn't helping anybody. Talk to me are you scared?"

"I'm fucking terrified." His voice cracks for the first time on the call, "I don't know what to do she called it our baby." Roman wipes at his face angrily, "I couldn't hear her say that."

"Why?"

"Because then it stopped feeling like...a problem?" Roman doesn't say anything for a long time the only sound is him trying very hard to breathe normally. He rubs the heels of his palms against his eyes he can feel them burning.

He refuses to let himself cry not on the phone where his brother can hear it he swallows trying to force his voice back to normal. When he finally speaks, it comes out rough, "Dude I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do. She's gonna keep thinking about it you know how she is. She's gonna think about birthdays and names and all that shit. I love her but that's the fucking problem."

"Why's that the problem?" His brother asks.

"Because if she wants to keep it iI don't think I could leave her I mean realistically I couldn't. But I don't know if I could stop resenting the situation either."

"So what's your plan?"

"I don't have one...I think I'm gonna hit the studio."

"The studio what for?"

Roman shrugs even though nobody can see him, "I don't know i just..." He rubs both hands over his face, "I can't sit here and I can't go back there."

"Why?"

"Bro I don't even know what I'd say."

"You don't need the perfect thing to say."

"Yeah then what? What am I supposed to do? Walk in there and say Hey, sorry I screamed at you while you found out you were pregnant?" His voice starts climbing again, "Like what the fuck am I supposed to say?"

His breathing gets uneven, "I don't even know what I'm feeling. I don't want this but I'm not leaving her I'd rather fucking die than leave her." Roman squeezes his eyes shut, "I don't know how both of those things are true."

"Because they are."

Roman laughs bitterly, "Real helpful."

"I'm serious you can love her and not want this pregnancy. Yhey're not mutually exclusive."

Roman leans his forehead against the steering wheel, "Then what the fuck do I do?"

"Stop trying to control the outcome you don't have to pretend you're happy but stop making her carry your panic."

Roman shuts his eyes tighter, "I fucked up." He lifts his head, "I'm still gonna go to the studio. I just...I need to get out of my own head for a minute."

"No you need to go back. Your pregnant girlfriend is sitting in that apartment thinking you abandoned her and instead of going back you're telling me you're gonna go make music?"

Roman snaps, "I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE MUSIC. I'm trying not to lose my fucking mind. If I go back there right now idon't know what I'm gonna say, what she's gonna say, or if she's gonna hate me."

"Dude yon't have to have the right words you just have to show up. Go back Roman don't make her do tonight alone."

Roman's thumb slowly moves to the red button, "I gotta go."

"Roman-"

The call ends and Roman tosses the phone onto the passenger seat. He ends driving to the studio’s expecting to be in solitude but when he gets to the building he pushes open the studio door and the room is already lit. Roman freezes seeing the three guys in there Hollis looks up first then Ryan and Nate spins around in his chair. Nate grins, "Yo! Great minds think alike. I swear, none of us could sleep so we figured might as well make something." Hollis watches Roman carefully, "Didn't expect you."

Roman shrugs, "Yeah." That's it just yeah and the room goes strangely quiet. Roman is never this quiet usually he walks in talking or complaining about something but tonight nothing. Nate exchanges a quick glance with Ryan. Nate mouths, "What's up with him?" and Ryan just shrugs. Roman walks over to the couch drops down onto it with his elbows on his knees and his eyes on the floor.

Nate breaks the silence, "Everything good?" Roman nods once, "Mhm." Ryan scratches the back of his neck, "You sure?" Roman glares at him, "Yeah." Hollis doesn't say anything something feels...wrong. Not fight-with-your-girlfriend wrong something worse. Usually after Roman and you argue Sage starts blowing up Hollis's phone with texts like "your friend is actually unbelievable" or "come get him before i do."

Or at the very least amissed call but tonight Hollis hasn't gotten a text or a call which confuses him more. If Sage is quiet either nothing happened or something happened that's so bad that's she's busy comforting you. Hollis leans back in his chair, "How's Y/n?" Roman's jaw tightens, "She's fine." The answer comes too fast and rehearsed.

Hollis notices, "You guys fight?" Roman exhales through his nose, "Yeah." Nate chuckles, "You guys always do." Ryan nods, "You two'll be alright." Roman doesn't respond and the silence stretches again. Long enough that Nate slowly lowers his smile, "Uh Roman?" Roman just keeps staring at the floor as if people are talking to him. In his head he just hears the hum of computers and Ryan absentmindedly spinning a pen between his fingers.

He hasn't said more than five words since he walked in. Roman keeps bouncing his leg faster and faster his knee won't stop. He rubs both hands over his face and lets out a long breath, "You guys got anything?" Nate shrugs, "Uh I think Ryan's got a couple White Claws in there." Ryan nods, "Yeah take one if you want." Roman shakes his head, "No, not alcohol anything stronger?" Roman hasn't asked that question in so ling ever since he met you. Ryan speaks carefully, "Bro you quit you haven't touched any of that shit in forever." Nate's smile is completely gone now, "Roman what's going on?"

Roman rubs his forehead, "I just don't wanna think I need my fucking brain to shut up." Hollis slowly stands up from his chair, "You're not getting shit." Roman scoffs, "It's not that fucking deep." Hollis lets out a short laugh, "Bullshit it is that deep." Ryan nods quietly, "You're scaring me a little, man." Roman immediately rolls his eyes, "Oh my God-" Nate cuts him off, "Don't 'oh my God' us what happened to you.

You walked in here looking like you haven't slept and now you're asking us for shit you haven't touched in forever." Hollis folds his arms, "Talk." Roman laughs bitterly, "I'm good." Hollis shakes his head, "You're really not." Roman stands up, "I'm not doing this." He starts toward the door and Hollis steps in front of him. "Roman." Hollis's voice softens just a little, "What happened?" Roman looks away and thinks about all the horrible things he has said to you and how you had begged him not to leave.

He shakes his head once, "She's pregnant."Nate's mouth slowly falls open, Ryan just stares, and Hollis doesn't move. "Holy shit." Nate is the first one to say it barely above a whisper. "Is...she okay?" Roman furrows his brows together, "I don't know." Hollis' eyes narrow, "What do you mean you don't know?" Roman looks at the floor, "Because I left." Nate is staring at Roman like he misheard him, Ryan's eyebrows slowly knit together, and Hollis stays quiet just looking at Roman.

Roman notices and his jaw tightens, "What? The fuck are y'all looking at?" Nate opens his mouth before his brain catches up. "There's no fucking way you left your pregnant girlfriend alone." The second the sentence leaves Nate's mouth Hollis closes his eyes, "Nate..." Roman explodes, "Here we fucking go you weren't there so shut the fuck up." Nate blinks, "I'm just saying-"

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU'RE SAYING." His voice echoes through the studio, "I already know I left I was there I dont meed you repeating it." Ryan's expression changes the concern starts turning into irritation, "The fuck are you getting mad at us for?" You walk in here acting antisocial as fuck, you ask us for drugs, you tell us your girlfriend's pregnant, you tell us you left her, and now you're pissed at US?"

Roman scoffs, "Oh, so now I'm the bad guy." Ryan stares at him, "Dude what?" Roman looks around the room, "You guys think I'm evil or some shit." Ryan lets out an incredulous laugh, "Bro, what the fuck are you talking about?" He shakes his head, "We're trying to figure out why you're acting like this and every time one of us opens our mouth, you bite our fucking heads off."Roman laughs bitterly, "Because you guys keep acting like you know everything."

Ryan fires back "We know what YOU told us. You literally said, 'She's pregnant' and 'I left.' What part are we misunderstanding?" Roman opens his mouth but nothing comes out. Hollis finally steps between them, "Enough." Hollis looks at Ryan first, "Give me a second." Ryan exhales sharply and takes a step back atill clearly irritated. Then Hollis looks at Roman long enough that Roman starts looking away, "What is actually going on?"

"I told her we were going to planned parenthood tomorrow and she just started getting sentimental." Roman keeps going, "She kept calling it our baby and I kept telling her to stop saying that shit but she wouldn't. Then she just kept crying and saying she didn't wanna regret it so I walked out that bitch." Ryan just stares at him, "That's it?" Roman frowns, "What?" Ryan takes a step forward, "That's the entire story you screamed at your girlfriend, you walked out on her, nd now you're standing here waiting for one of us to tell you you were right?"

Roman immediately gets defensive, "I NEVER SAID THAT." Ryan rolls his eyes, "The hell you didn't you keep getting pissed every time somebody looks at you funny. You wanna know why?" He pokes Roman's chest with his pointer finger, "Because you KNOW you fucked up." Roman's jaw tightens, "Ryan, shut the fuck-"

"No." Ryan cuts him off, "No, you shut the fuck up for once. You keep acting like we're attacking you we're not." Ryan shakes his head, "You keep talking about what YOU wanted but what about her?" Roman says nothing but Ryan doesn't stop, "She found out she was pregnant too and she was scared too but you made it about you." Roman opens his mouth but Ryan beats him to it, "You keep getting mad because you think we're making you the bad guy but right now you are."

Roman just stares at him then he laughs, "Wow, you care a whole lot." Roman takes a step closer, "You seem real invested." Hollis recognizes that tone the same jealous tone Roman had when he had accused Hollia of wanting to fuck you just because he was defending you. Roman glarws at Ryan, "What you wanna be her fucking hero now?"

Ryan is completely dumbfounded, "Excuse me?" Roman laughs again, "The way you're talking and acting it seems like you care alot. Like what you wanna fuck my girlfriend too?" Nate's eyes go wide and Hollis closes his eyes, "Jesus Christ..." Ryan doesn't even look angry at first he just looks confused, "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Ryan lets out a laugh he genuinely cannot believe what he just heard, "You've lost your fucking mind."

"HAVE I?, "Roman shouts. Ryan steps forward, "Yeah you have." Roman scoffs, "Oh yeah?" Ryan points directly at his chest, "You know what?" With how fucking possessive you are I'm actually surprised you're freaking out this much. I mean, seriously you've spent your entire relationship acting like you're scared somebody's gonna take her. You've always wanted her all to yourself so in your fucked-up head I would've thought this would've been your dream. A baby means she's tied to you forever so I don't know what kind of fucking delusion you're living in but don't stand here accusing me of wanting your girlfriend because I called you out."

Ryan continues, "You don't get to be mad every time you hear something you don't like. I'm not defending her because I wanna fuck her. I'm defending her because you're fucking crazy." Ryan points toward the studio door, "You know what get out." Roman scoffs, "What?" Ryan shakes his head, "I'm serious get the fuck out."

Nate quickly steps in, "Yo, Ryan-" Ryan doesn't even look at him, "I'm done, you came in here asking us for drugs, you screamed at everybody, you accused me of wanting your girlfriend, and somehow I'M the asshole?" He shakes his head, "Get out." Roman looks at Ryan then at Nate and Hollis but nobody says a word. Nobody backs Ryan up but nobody disagrees with him either and that pisses Roman off even more.

Roman nods to himself, "You know what fuck you." He turns toward Hollis, "And fuck you too." He looks toward Nate, "And fuck you." Nate frowns, "I didn't even say anything?!" Ryan scoffs, "Dont be lashing out on them because I disagreed with you. Mind you you literally accused me of wanting your girlfriend." Roman stands his ground refusing to be wrong, "I SAID WHAT I SAID!" Ryan shakes his head , "You're actually fucking insane."

Roman takes another step toward the door, "Yeah? Good then leave me the fuck alone." Hollis speaks one last time, "Roman come on calm down." Roman's grip tightens around the handle and he yanks the door open, "Fuck all of you." The door slams behind him and the sound echoes through the studio. Nate stares at the door, "Holy shit." He shakes his head, "I genuinely thought he was about to tell us they broke up not..that."

Nate looks over at Hollis, "His girlfriend's pregnant like I can't even picture Roman with a fucking kid." Ryan cuts in with a answer, "I can't picture him acting like a fucking adult." Hollis is still staring at the closed studio door completely still and Ryan looks over, "You good?" Hollis exhales slowly, "I don't even know what I'm supposed to do anymore." Nate looks at him, "What do you mean?" Hollis shakes his head, "I've talked to him, called him out, and told him when he's wrong. I've literally tried being patient and blunt but nothing sticks."

He sighs in disappointment, "It's like thee second he gets scared he stops hearing people." Ryan nods, "Exactly he doesn't fucking listen he just hears whatever he wants to hear." Nate quietly says, "He really thought you wanted Y/n." Ryan throws both hands into the air while he scoffs, "I've known that girl for how long now?" I've never once looked at her like that and somehow I'm the fucking problem? Like no offense he needs help or something."

Nate blinks, "Help?" Ryan nods, "Yeah actual help because that shit I don't even know what that was but somethings wrong. He genuinely convinced himself I wanted his girlfriend because I told him he fucked up." Nate looks down at the floor, "Do you think Sage knows about all of this?" Hollis slowly reaches into his pocket pulling out his phone, "If she doesn't she's about to."

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The fluorescent lights buzz overhead as Roman walks in the liquor store. He grabs a shopping basket and doesn't even bother pretending to browse he goes straight to the whiskey aisle. He stands there for a second then reaches for a bottle. Then he grabs a second one and makes his way to the register. The cashier scans the first bottle then the second one. The cashier glances up, "Rough night?" Roman just stays quiet because he really isn't in the mood for small talk.

The cashier nods and doesn't pry, "Been there." After he pays Roman grabs the bag and walks back out into the parking lot. Roman ends up driving to an empty overlook. He pulls into the first parking spot throws the car into park and kills the engine. "Fuck!" His fist slams against the steering wheel and the horn blares for half a second. Roman drops his head forward forehead resting against the wheel. His breathing is uneven everything keeps replaying the positive test and you crying.

He reaches into the passenger seat and pulls out the bottle of whiskey. He twists the cap off and chugs it ignoring how the whiskey burns violently. His eyes squeeze shut his throat feels like it's on fire and he coughs. He raises it again and takes another long drink then he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

He reaches for his phone and sees your contact photo staring back at him. His thumb hovers over the call button but he can't do it you probably hate him. He locks the phone amd throws it into the passenger seat then reaches for the bottle again. After a while the bottle is almost halfway empty but somehow he's thinking about you even more.

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taglist ♡

@sweet2sin @theyluvcece00 @lunaswanx @holilove @lonelycatontheblock @anx1etyr1dden @2bun22

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"you'd be a rat"

𝗧𝗢𝗫𝗜𝗖!𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗠𝗨𝗟𝗔𝗦 𝗫 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗘𝗥

part 15

(part 16 here)

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The movie has been over for hours at some point he'd turned the TV off and the room had gone completely dark. Your breathing is slow and steady against his chest. One arm thrown across his stomach, galf the blanket stolen, and you drooling on him. Roman stares down, "What the fuck.."

You make a tiny sleepy noise your face buried into his shirt completely unconscious. Roman rolls his eyes then wipes the drool away with his sleeve. A few seconds later he looks back up at the ceiling and sighs, "Fuck." He can't stop thinking no matter how hard he tries.

Every time he starts drifting off he starts thinking about all that Hollis said. Roman groans quietly shifting against the headboard because the asshole won't get out of his head. What made it worse is that Hollis is right atleast a little bit and Roman hates that.

His eyes drift downward you haven't moved still asleep and curled against him looking peaceful. Completely unaware that he's currently having a mental breakdown. Roman studies your face the way your eyelashes rest against your cheeks and the tiny crease between your eyebrows even when you're asleep.

Suddenly all the panic gets worse because you're real. This isn't some hypothetical situation anymore it's really you. Roman squeezes his eyes shut, "Jesus Christ." His brain immediately jumps ahead, a baby, the thought hits him like a truck.

No

No

Absolutely fucking not

You both are young and he's barely got his own life figured out half the time he's still making shit up as he goes. Roman swallows hard looking back down at you. You look so normal like nothing is wrong. He has a feeling he's not sleeping tonight.

The next morning arrives far too quickly at least for Roman because he never actually went to sleep. He's already awake when you start stirring beside him. You let out a tiny sleepy noise burrowing deeper into the blankets and eventually your eyes flutter open.

The first thing you see is Roman still awake and you smile, "Good morninggg." Roman glances over, "Mornin'." Your voice is still sleepy and you scoot closer resting your head against his shoulder. Then you lean up pressing a quick kiss against the side of his neck, "How'd you sleep?"

Roman stares at the ceiling for a second, "Uh I didn't sleep." Your face immediately falls, "Oh I'm sorry :<." You settle back against him rubbing your eyes then let out another yawn, "I'm kinda still tired." Roman closes his eyes like he's praying for strength.

He rubs a hand down his face, "How are you still tired? You slept yesterday, you slept in, you took a nap in the car, you fell asleep during the movie, and you slept all night." You stare then shrug, "I dunno." You yawn again, "I'm just sleepy."

Eventually you deicde your hungry and head to the kitchen. You're standing in front of the fridge atill half asleep trying to decide what sounds good. You pull the milk out you sniff it then your face scrunches, "Ew." Roman's stomach drops like a rock, "Ew what." You look down at the carton, "The milk it sounds kinda gross."

Roman goes completely still because in the back of his head he has a memory. Some random thing somebody said once a movie or something like that Pregnant women get weird with smells, right? You put the milk back closing the fridge. Roman's eyes follow the carton, "No cereal?"

You shake your head, "No the milk sounds kinda yucky right now." Roman looks away because if he keeps staring he's going to lose his mind. You, meanwhile, move on with your life. Looking through the pantry completely unaware that Roman is internally spiraling. A minute later you're making toast and Roman's still watching.

You grab jam then you change your mind and you grab peanut butter. You turn around and Roman looks away but you could see his eyes on yo, "Roman, do I have something on my face?" He shakes his head, "No."

"Then why are you looking at me like that all silly." You pout slightly, "Seriously." Roman exhales slowly one hand coming up to rub his forehead a nervous habit one you know well. "What's wrong?" He drags a hand down his face, "Dude did you actually miss your birth control shot?" The question comes out way more serious than he intended. You stare at him, "What?" Roman swallows trying and failing to sound casual, "Did you actually miss it or are you just tripping?"

The toast pops up behind you and neither of you react. This is the same guy who spent days telling you, "You're fine." The same guy who rolled his eyes every time you brought it up and acted like you were worrying over nothing. "Roman..." You look down at the counter picking at the corner of the toast, "I told you I don't remember."

You swallow still looking down, "I don't know I wish I remembered. I was trying not to think about it." Roman feels trapped because every answer is bad. You don't remember, he doesn't know, nobody knows and suddenly he can't stand it. He can't stand the uncertainty and the fear crawling around inside his chest.

So instead he gets angry and unfortunately you're the one standing right infront of you. Roman scoffs running a hand through his hair, "Well what qhat are you gonna do?!" His voice comes out sharper than he means it to, "Just stand there looking like an idiot?"

You frown and Roman sees it but he's already spiraling and already halfway through the crash out, "We need to know." You stare at him hurt and confused but Roman keeps going, "If you actually fucked this up then we need to know."

"Fucked it up?" Your voice is tiny and Roman realizes how bad that sounded but now he's defensive and embarrassed so he's doubling down, "You know what I mean." You shake your head, "No, I don't."

"That was mean." Roman feels like absolute shit but not enough to admit it. You glance down at the counter picking at a piece of toast, "You keep talking like I did this by myself." You're right because if you were actually pregnant Roman is also at fault. You let out a shaky breath, "I'm tired." You reach for your phone and unlock it, "I'm ordering a test."

You tap the screen add it to your cart then checkout. The order confirmation appears then you lock it and set it face down on the counter. The next few hours are awful every notification makes your stomach drop. The notification comes that it's delivered and the room feels ten degrees hotter. Slowly you stand walking toward the front door your heart pounding so hard it feels ridiculous.

The package is sitting right outside and you pick it up with shaking hands. You walk back into the apartment and Roman is sitting on the couch watching and waiting. You sit down with the box in your lap just staring at it. Roman finally snaps, "What the hell are you waiting for? We ordered it for a reason."

You stare down at the box your fingers tightening around it, "I'm scared." He stands up so fast the coffee table rattles, "Well so am I! You think you're the only one scared right now?" Your eyes widen and Roman starts pacing, "I haven't slept everybody keeps acting like I should know what to do."

He pinches the bridge of his nose, "Just take the test." You shake your head not no just not yet. "What are you waiting for?" You look down at your lap, "I don't know." Roman closes his eyes and sighs, "Baby pease...' You take a deep breath then slowly stand the box still clutched in your hands. The walk to the bathroom feels weirdly long like every step takes forever.

Roman follows a few feet behind not speaking just following you. When you reach the bathroom door your hand stops on the handle, "I'm doing it alone." Roman opens his mouth then closes it. He wants to argue he wants to be there in control but this isn't about him so after a long pause he nods, "Okay."

You stare at him for a second then disappear inside. Inside the bathroom your hands are shaking as you stare at the test. After you finish the instructions your hands shake so badly you grip the edge of the counter. A few minutes that's all but somehow they become the longest minutes of your entire life.

Your knee bounces and your heart pounds. As you stare at the floor, the sink, and the tiles. Anywhere except the test because as long as it's upside down you don't know. Your phone timer goes off and the sound makes you jump. You know you should pick it up and turn it over but your body won't move.

Your fingers barely brushing the test and then it slips falling from your lap landing face up against the tile floor. Your eyes find it without meaning to and you see it clear as day, "+ pregnant" The world stops just that stupid little plus sign sitting there on the bathroom floor mocking you.

Eerything comes rushing in at once and your stomach twists violently from panic. Your brain is moving too fast. Where would it sleep? What would your parents say? What about your dreams? What about Roman? Your thoughts start tripping over each other one after another.

The bathroom door opens and Roman’s searches for your expression. You're not crying, panicking, or even saying anything. You just walk out slowly like you left part of yourself in that bathroom. "What?" You don't answer or even look at him just keep walking completely unreadable.

"Y/n what is it are you gonna answer me?" Roman throws his hands up, "For fuck's sake." He pushes past you into the bathroom ready to grab the stupid test himself. His eyes immediately land on it lying on the floor face up. The plus sign staring right back at him.

The world feels far away like somebody stuffed cotton into his ears. He bends down picking it up staring harder as if the answer might change. His thumb tightens around the plastic, "That's bullshit." He flips it over then back again looking for a mistake , "These things are wrong all the time right?" Theres no answer you're standing in the doorway still frozen and staring at nothing.

Roman keeps going, "People get false positives." His heart pounding so hard he can hear it and one by one the excuses start falling apart in his head. His eyes drift back to the plus sign and every thought he's been avoiding comes crashing down at once.

A baby

His baby

Your baby

The test lowers slowly and his face goes pale like all the blood just left his body. His stomach twists violently and a horrible wave of nausea washes over him. "Roman?" Your voice sounds far away and muffled like he's underwater. His hand flies to his mouth and for a second you think he's crying. Instead he turns straight toward the toilet.

The test slips from his fingers clattering onto the floor. Roman drops to one knee one hand braced against the toilet seat the other covering his mouth. He gags trying not to throw up his entire body tense and shaking. "Roman-" He throws a hand up signaling for you to just stop. His shoulders rise and fall trying to breathe and think but every thought keeps crashing into the same wall.

Pregnant

Pregnant

Pregnant

Your legs feel weak but your own panic temporarily leave. You've never seen him like this not once. Roman finally leans back slightly still sitting on the bathroom floor pale and breathing too fast. Then he looks up at you his eyes don't look right they look distant like he's still trying to wake up from a nightmare. "Please tell me we're getting rid of it."

You frown not because you haven't thought about it of course you've thought about it the thought has crossed your mind a thousand times in the last ten minutes. But hearing him say it it's different. "Roman..." His eyes never leave yours, "Please." You try to think and process anything, "We can't make a decision right now."

"What," his jaw tightens. "We just found out." Your voice shakes, "I'm scared too." Roman lets out a sharp laugh not that anythings funny he's just losing it. "We're going to planned parenthood tomorrow." You shake your head overwhelmed and scared, "Can we please just think-"

"What is there to think about?" His hands are moving now, "You want to change diapers?" He points at the test on the floor that changed everything. "Be realistic." His voice is almost pleading now, "I can't have a baby. Like what I'm I supposed to do when I'm on tour and stuff have the kid on the fucking tour bus?!"

"Roman, stop yelling."

"Answer the question."

I literally just found out ten minutes ago I can't even think!"

Roman laughs, "Oh my god you're actually considering it."

"No I'm not..."

"Then why do you need time?"

"Because I'm scared!"

Roman fires back, "SO AM I."

"I know I know!"

"DO YOU? This isn't a dog or some shit it's a fucking kid. What happens next do I give up everything?"

"Nobody said that!"

"THEN WHAT?"

The scream echoes through the bathroom and you get angry. You've spent the last ten minutes listening to him panic and you're done. "STOP MAKING THIS ABOUT YOU! You keep saying I as if I'm not scared." Your voice breaks, "YOU THINK I'M NOT TERRIFIED?"

Roman opens his mouth but nothing comes out. "YOU THINK THIS ISN'T HAPPENING TO ME TOO and all you've done is yell at me!" Roman closes his eyes, "Please look at me." His voice is soft now and that always gets you. You hate that tone of his because part of you wants to melt but you're still hurt. He reaches for your hands and you don't pull away. "Baby." His thumbs brush over your knuckles, "I don't want to fight."

You laugh weakly, "We already did." His forehead presses against yours, "We're too young." His hand moves to your cheek gently, "I can't give you what you deserve. I want a house first and stability I want to know I can take care of you." Roman leans his forehead harder against yours, "We can barely take care of ourselves, please."

He's trying to convince you the way he always does. With soft words, affection, and promises. "We'll figure it all out amd we'll get a better apartment." Each promise sounds beautiful like a ideal future just not the future currently sitting on the bathroom floor. "Please think about it baby."

You stare at the floor at the test with the little plus sign and your heart hurts. Roman keeps talking about the future and all you can think about is one horrible question 'What if I regret it?' The thought has been sitting in your head for the last twenty minutes. You whisper softly, "What if I regret?" You keep staring at the floor voice shaking, "What if I do it and then I spend the rest of my life wondering?"

Roman already knows where this is going and he doesn't want to hear it. "What if ten years from now I'm still thinking about it or twenty years what if I never stop thinking about it?" The tears are back running down your cheeks and the words just spill out, "I don't want to regret getting rid of our baby." He shakes his head, "No don't call it that."

You wipe your face sniffling trying to get the words out, "Its ours Roman." His jaw clenches and that panic comes rushing back. "You keep talking about it like it's already a kid quit doing that shit." Roman takes a step back he physically can't breathe in this apartment anymore. You take notice, "Roman?" He grabs his jacket runs both hands through his hair and looks everywhere except you. "You know what I can't do this."

Your stomach drops, "What?" He looks around for his car keys, "I can't not right now." He starts heading tward the door and all your panic turns into raw fear, "W-what?" Roman doesn't stop moving, "I need space." He looks at you and regrets it because your eyes are filling with tears. You shake your head, "No no no you can't leave!" Roman frowns this is exactly why he didn't want to look at you, "I am not leaving forever I'm just leaving for today."

"THAT'S LEAVING!!" Your breathing starts speeding up, "Roman please." For a second he almost stays then he thinks about the test still sitting on the bathroom floor and the panic comes flooding back in. "Just for today please just today." The door clicks and just like that Roman is gone. You stand there staring at the front door waiting.

Maybe he'll come back and he'll open the door again but he doesn't. Your knees give out and hit the floor hard now you're alone pregnant and alone. The first sob rips out of your chest before you can stop it until suddenly you can't breathe. Your whole body shakes hands pressed against your mouth trying so hard to hold it together. "Roman." The name comes out between sobs pathetic and desperate like maybe if you say it enough he'll come back.

The apartment stays quiet and the silence is unbearable. There is nobody here nobody telling you what to do, to argue with, or to reassure you. The possibility that Roman might not come back tonight makes you want to die. Your brain starts asking horrible questions what if he regrets me?, what if he regrets us?, what if he never wanted this?, and what if he never comes back? You curl into yourself on the floor crying so hard your stomach and head hurts.

Your hands are shaking so badly you almost drop your phone the crying won't stop. Your head hurts everything hurts you don't know what to do or who to call. You don't know anything except one thing Sage you need Sage. You fumble with your phone opening your contacts searching for Sage. You call but the call doesn't go through you stare confused then try again.

You open your messages and that's when you see that Sage is blocked. Your brain refuses to process it then suddenly everything clicks. Because you know you didn't do this you would never block Sage. Which means Roman did it and you're crying harder than before. How dare he isolate you and cut you off from your best friend then just fucking leave. Your hands shake as you hit unblock and call Sage.

"Sage-" The sob that comes out is horrible and Sage sits upright. "Y/N?!" Nothing coherent comes out just actual hysterical crying. "Y/N!" Sage's voice gets sharper, "Babe, breathe." You try but fail, "Sage-" Another sob cuts you off, "He left!!!" Sage is already grabbing her keys, shoving her shoes on, and heading for the door. Whatever happened between you and Roman went bad very bad then she hears it, "The baby."

Sage freezes hand still on the doorknob, "What." The word comes out barely above a whisper you don't even realize you said it. You're just crying and trying to explain to Sage what happened, "The test it was positive." Sage covers her mouth staring at the wall and doesn't know what to say. Sage takes a shaky breath and says the only thing she can think of, "Okay I'm coming."

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