Six months that meant nothing because you couldn't even say goodbye.

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@sequil
Six months that meant nothing because you couldn't even say goodbye.

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Lady, Gaga misses you ahaha
Aish... You ougta come back soon, huh?
With my weight of insomnia, I love you.
Marina Tsvetaeva, from The Best Of Marina Tsvetaeva (via violentwavesofemotion)
{' touches your soul.}
Is this real life.

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"Sehun-ah, I had to get to work early today but the soup is on the stove and there's fruit in the fridge! ㅋㅋㅋ Eat well, mm? If you're working today, smile for me (even if you're not supposed to ㅋㅋ). Have a good day, baby. -- J"
He's a bit surprised the other isn't around but his shoulders slouch forward in a shrug, guessing it was an early schedule, so he walks into the kitchen and sees the sticky not attached to the fridge, squinting his eyes as he leaned in to see. An instant smile crawls to his lips as he opened the door to peer in eagerly, fetching himself a slice of watermelon. "Aish this idiot..."
#HappySehunDay — I don’t know where I would be without you in my life, you’ve made each day special… please stay safe… lets walk together till the end.
Sehun-ah, there isn’t much I can do for you, but I hope you’ll understand my feelings. You understand even without me saying anything, right? keke
You ate (grew) another year older. Happy birthday! Hun-ah I’m really happy and feel supported because I have you ~ Let’s move forward together forever.
Let’s live happily forever ~ I can speak like this because it’s your birthday, right? kekekeke
Keep in mind, don’t worry about anything because you have me. I’ll be by your side forever. Happy birthday again ~
Hyung will… Haha anytime you want, I’ll call you hyung keke
(trans)
sehun being cute ◠‿◠✿
"... Sehun-ah." His voice murmurs quietly after the tone of the voicemail beep went off. He looks down, tracing over the bed covers. He wonders what Sehun was doing -- probably celebrating with his staff? It makes sense. "Is it... okay to want you to come home?" He asked. It was kind of silly; as if he was asking permission for Sehun to come home. Then, just as quiet, "... Please come home. I want to see you, just for a little bit if that's all you'll allow." A pause. "... I miss you so much."
There's a vibration and he wonders if it was his parents to be the first to say something to him, but what he doesn't expect however, is the name of his boyfriend, gaze flickering towards the name. There's slight hesitation, but he presses play for his voice to reach his ears; it was almost nostalgic in a way, it brought him back to the way the used to communicate when Jongin was in USA. He's missing him horribly and he feels like there's an ocean in between them once again. Going home is all he'd ever wish to be asked for, so he doesn't even wait for the voice mail to end and he's up to his feet from the spot they'd once declared at 'hiding place', feet guiding him to the overly familiar apartment.
He stops in front of the door, fingers trembling for some reason. His voice is small when he whispers an ' I miss you too' in the voice mail, quickly sending it. Twisting the knob, he swallows every trace of nervousness because this was the home he'd been needing so much.

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It leaves him nervous for the first time in a while, staring at his cellphone and knowing what tomorrow was. It sort of leaves a rock in his throat because -- it was Sehun's special day and Jongin felt like, in a sense, he ruined it. Even if he didn't do anything. Though, he closes his eyes and wills the thoughts away. He knows that Sehun deserves so much better, but he needs Sehun more than anyone could ever imagine. So with that, it tugs a small smile on his face; and Jongin dials.
It's not like he had anything specific planned in his mind, heck, he hadn't even been paying attention to tomorrow's event. Yes, it was the day he was born, but there was no extravagant celebration, just a simple 'happy birthday', and the day would go on. This time however, he felt like a coward. It was the number that finally declared him to be a full adult, with the same rights as everyone else, but was it that he didn't want to reach it just yet? Although he had to grow mature even since a fragile age, the more he thought of it, the bigger the discomfort was.
Jongin wants to steal Sehun, but Sehun… щ(ºДºщ)
Face pressed softly against Sehun’s neck, Jongin takes in the faintest scent of cologne and make-up products, with the underlying tone of just Sehun that he loved so much. Home, he thought. This was home. A little awkward, like being away on a vacation too long and coming back, but it was home nonetheless.
If Jongin couldn’t find a reason to talk before, he definitely couldn’t find one now. Feeling like a rock was lodged in his throat, he squeezes his eyes shut tighter, willing the other to feel the ache in his chest and hear the apologies in his mind.
This was all so new after the longest of time, that he didn't even know how to react to begin with; a stranger in his own home was probably the worst that could happen so far, but he would regain his senses slowly, calmly -- ironically, because Sehun is known for having quite a temper. It's amazing how feelings can change a person.
A soft sigh echoes through the room, deciding it was too early for words, but his arms squeeze around Jongin, and he concludes that for once, he isn't the one underweight between the two of them. Teeth clicking against his bottom lip with desiring to speak, he decided against his own thoughts by nosing along the male's temple, offering nothing but comfort and reassurance.
jongin for the celebrity magazine
I want to be the one you come to when you’ve forgotten how to feel safe.
elisabeth hewer (via turtlerxng)

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I only want two things in this world. I want you. And I want us.
(via densely)
He didn't look for the other, but he waited. It was finally his turn to wait, and Jongin doesn't understand it how he could allow his boyfriend to wait so long for him. If he had known the difficulty with waiting against time for the one you cherish most was so numbing and petrifying, he wouldn't let Sehun suffer. Easily, Jongin stays up the entire night until morning, sitting by the foyer, near the front door. He passed out along the lines of sunrise.
Work. His job doesn't have a particular schedule and that can be frustrating at times. Either he spend from morning to late afternoon with a photoshoot, sometimes even from morning to late night, but the results are pleasant. His salary increased, he looked well, his manager was proud and on business related, Sehun had no problems. However, how was this to help him when he truthfully wanted the attention of a single person? Someone he hasn't seen in almost a month face to face, nor carried a proper conversation with. Not on the phone, texts, just a few notes here and there.
Was this really how couples nowadays lived?
He was lucky to catch the last bus of the day that stopped near the building where their apartment was located at. Almost 10 pm he figured after he checked his wristwatch, hand gripping at the magazine that had him as this month's cover. He took an exemplary, maybe Jongin didn't have the time to see and Sehun was a proud boy, so he wanted Jongin to find out from him , that he had succeeded this far. But who was he kidding? Said boy was probably preoccupied with educational matters once again and wouldn't be home for another few days.
What he doesn't expect is seeing his boyfriend at the front door, figure asleep and looking as peaceful as ever. My God, for how long has he waited, was Sehun's first thought, as he crouches before the boy. The view itself stirs a lot of memories, happy ones and the corner of his lip twitches. Maybe it's not as bad as it thinks, maybe things will find a solution sooner than later.
His arms had gained strength since the last time they've seen each other, so they encase Jongin's figure and carefully lift him up. If he wakes up, he'll have the chance to say a proper good night, if not, he'll just continue walking inside the apartment and to the shared bedroom, where he tucked the elder in, before placing the magazine by his side.
Goodnight.