Untitled 2019

HIGH DESERT 🌵

taeyong takes a deep breath in — in all honesty, the oxygen he intakes doesn’t feel as clean as it does in korea, which must be why he has this hidden intuition that he’s going to get very bad allergies along with the summer heat. all in a day’s work, he guesses. “i’m having fun, yeah! other than it being super hot… it’s exciting that we’re here, even if it isn’t really a vacation, the location alone makes it feel like it’s a vacation.” taeyong briefly thinks over the prospect of living in california once again — but his life is a bit too preoccupied for any of that, so he stops.

“swim?” he parrots, tilting his head — he doesn’t know why it didn’t occur to him that the hotel had a pool. of course, they would have a pool. taeyong’s just been buzzing around like a bee, he hasn’t noticed. but a dip in the pool does sound great in this sweltering weather. “that sounds so great, actually… summer time calls for a swim in the pool, wherever you are!”

“i can admit, my brain switched to vacation as soon as we landed.” he laughed a bit, coming to the music video shooting reminded him of why they were there. it did confirm that he wanted to take the chance to come back just for fun one day. maybe in spring or fall, when it wasn’t too hot or cold. ( because he could only guess how cold it would get based on how hot it got. )

“got any tips for me?” he grinned at the other, he knew woohyun would say that he had to just relax and be himself, still, it made him feel better asking. “as you can see, i’m nervous about it.” anytime it came for him to be the face for convex, on his own, it wasn’t something made him feel a little unsure. 

seonghwa wasn't sure, even when he got the okay to be allowed to host one this month. it wasn't something he put too much thought into, he'd just figure out what he wanted to do. maybe a small q&a? he figured that would work out well and got to setting everything up. doing in record time, it was something easy to do at this point. as soon as it was on, seonghwa bowed his head and introduced himself.

"i wasn't sure what i wanted to do for you today, i just wanted to see our fans." was this the first time he said our fans? it felt like it was but he didn't give it too much thought, watching the hearts increase. at least he wasn't hated too much. "so how about a q&a? ask me anything you want." and they did, questions came rushing in and seonghwa struggled to keep up.

"favorite color? blue..i'd say it'd have to be blue."

"favorite convex song? that's easy! our current comeback. i really enjoy don't wanna cry." it was true, he wasn't even sure if it even fit him but he liked it, no, he loved it. and that seemed to have sparked something because more people were asking about don't wanna cry and what the filming was like. and that made him feel better, being a little more relaxed with a comfortable subject. there was another question that came in, asking about what type of programs he wanted to do go onto. he was a bit slow to answer, really trying to think about it. "i don't think it airs anymore but if crime scene ever comes back, i'd like to go on it." that one seemed very interesting and fun. 

he wasn't an avid fan of it but he did catch a few episodes with his mom. it had a range, most of them being funny but there were also a few serious ones sprinkled in there. ( he had hopped to get a fun episode as well. ) and the rest of the time, he focused on just doing well. in his mind, he was happy to let his fellow group-mate take the lead on the show and only offer when it mattered. once he was called out with prhyme, seonghwa put his game face on and walked out.

the very first thing he did was try not to focus on the studio audience. it wasn't like the music shows, this was much more nerve wracking and he tried not to focus on the fact that he was being heavily watched. it got better once it came time to officially record, he had been able to focus on the host.

the introductions came and seonghwa managed to ease through his. there was only one downside. he wasn't happy with the guest he had at all, in fact, he felt bad. but it wasn't as if he could say anything. not much but a few helpful words because he felt like an outsider. and what he wanted to say was even worse, so he settled between disapproving and blank looks. ( at least he tried his best with reactions, following along with the group if he felt like it was alright. ) it was way easier than expected for him to sort of fall into the background, really only coming out with some pulling for the host as soon as they remembered he was there.

in the end, he voted that it was a concern.

a big one.

well, a solo schedule. the month was already packed and in full swing. they'd be busy but somehow they trusted him enough to do this job of all things. ( it was everything his v-live could've prepared him for. ) being a dj wouldn't be too bad today, he could do it. that's what he told himself at least as they arrived.

everyone was nice when he arrived, though seonghwa didn't make it a point to cause trouble or draw attention to himself. "you ready?" his co-host asked and seonghwa nodded his head a few times, trying to go over the script in his mind. "hello this is idol radio." his co-host started, introducing himself and seonghwa. "hello, i'm happy to be here as as a feel in dj for idol radio, i can admit i'm a little nervous."

yeah, he had been a member of convex for a few months now but he still felt new to the idol world.

there was a good natured chuckle and they were able to smoothly roll on. seonghwa personally felt like he had the personally for radio. once they got the ball rolling, he was able to go along smoothly. though, his focus was on being a help to his co-host. whichever way the other went, seonghwa did his best to follow. and it got better once they started to really interact with the other idols. it helped him along a lot, it was a little bit easier to relax and roll his shoulders back.

seonghwa also felt himself being happy with this. just a step-below variety. there was still the personality factor but it wasn't as visible. it wouldn't air on tv and you'd have to seek the radio show out. that helped a long way in him being mentally comfortable with doing the show.

and as much as he liked excitement, there was a comfort in doing more of the same. it was almost like he was a trainee, there was just more on the line if he didn't get it right by the time it needed to be right. but there was his comfort doing what he needed to do in order. as always, seonghwa found himself up early ( or he thought he was at least, if other's had schedules they might've been out before him. ) seonghwa didn't see anyone ( not that he normally did. )

and the best part about waking up early? he had a little extra time to shower. ( and he was already pretty amazed that they didn't have trouble with the bathroom system having so many guys. ) and normally after his showers, he didn't waste much time getting out of the dorm and heading to the company. not having breakfast was a normal for him as well ( even if it was the most important thing of the day. ) he very rarely ate something more than a piece of fruit or a small snack. ( and it was a good thing his mother didn't know. )

and then when he finally made it into a practice room, seonghwa was on his own for a while. which was what he really liked anyway, the time it too him to focus. so when everyone filed into the practice room, he was more than ready to work. the little me-time helped him when it came to moving as a group. he felt a little more sure about himself once he had time to work on it alone.

as everyone headed back into the hotel, isa stopped by the front desk. when he got a 'yes' in reply, isa gave his thanks and continued on. just barely making it into the evaluator before the door closed. seeing as it was their last night in la, he felt like there really wasn't a chance to travel around the city. so, he'd enjoy some time in the pool at least. ( and the hot tub and the sauna, yeah, he had a plan. ) and that plan started with taking a quick shower, gathering his things and informing his room-mates on what he planned on doing.

by the time he got to the pool, there weren't that many people around and no really paid attention to him. he ended for the hot tub first, that was completely empty and seonghwa took the chance to just relax. and seeing as he wasn't going to be able to have his phone in the pool or the sauna, he used it now. trying his best to keep his hads out of the water. no joined him and by the time seonghwa looked back up, he was alone in the room.

his time in the pool was a bit longer. he wouldn't lie, it felt good to have the place to himself as much as he could. there wasn't a need to talk to anyone or watch any swimmers. he was happy to just float along the water until he got tired of doing it. ( he didn't get tired of it but he push himself out pool and made his way to the sauna. ( after made sure he had his blue-tooth and everything. he looked it up online. ) seonghwa just had to remind himself that he couldn't get too comfortable in the sauna. ( which was hard to do because he felt really relaxed right now. )

Now that Dongyoon lives with his uncle, he and his boyfriend had spend a lot of time in Seonghwa’s apartment, firstly, Dongyoon has gotten surprisingly bad at being in public, it’s like his body can’t handle it, secondly? Dongyoon still hasn’t told his uncle about Seonghwa so it’d be weird to invite Seonghwa over, wouldn’t it?

Now that his boyfriend was an idol the two didn’t have as much time together, yet their relationship was going well in Dongyoon’s eyes, the time they did have together was more than well. And as of now Seonghwa had had some time free so the two spent the night together. And as the morning came, as Dongyoon the person he was, he didn’t wanna wake up. “What are you saying” Dongyoon mumbled as he held tightly around Seonghwa.

it didn’t seem like dongyoon planned on letting him go. and since his boyfriend’s eyes were closed, seonghwa allowed himself to have a little pleased smile. “you..” seonghwa trailed off, moving to snuggle up to dongyoon. if he was honest, he didn’t want to get out of bed either, he felt completely comfortable, just snuggled up. then he inched up a bit so he was face to face with dongyoon. “i said...”

another little monthly v-live thing that he gotten started doing. honestly, it was going to be a once or twice thing but it seemed to be working pretty well for him. this time, he started the live while walking through the company, "hello! consta's i'm back again." he laughed, to himself and turned to the corner, coming to stop at a practice room that was thankfully empty. ( it'd only mean he'd have to walk even more. )

"it seemed like you guys enjoyed the dancing from the last v-live so i'll be doing it again." and maybe a little rapping since that was his role after all. "just one moment." with that, seonghwa moved quickly to set everything up. coming to sit down in front of the camera for a bit. "ah, now that's that finished, i'll take request, if i know the song so fill the comments." meaning that this time, he was forced to really look at the comments that started to pour in. he did know a few of the songs requested, at least enough for it to be a good enough time.

"alright! and later, we might even a guest." the last thing he said before he stood and started to get to work. relaxing and stretching his body before he really started dancing. and seonghwa was into it, starting to sweat a little bit before he realized someone walked into the room and smile formed on his face. the fans couldn't see who it was yet but seonghwa paused the music and waved woohyun over, pulling him into view of the camera.

once woohyun had the chance to introduce himself, they chatted with the fans for a bit. seonghwa didn't mind this either, he felt at ease around woohyun so it wasn't hard for him to be comfortable. "should we do something for the fans?" he asked and once they talked it over, it was settled that they'd perform convex's debut. it wasn't as serious as a real stage but he thought it was fun none the less.

but it was the first in a long while. and he remembered going to american when he was younger. it was a trip with family but he couldn't remember where. so, he found himself enjoying the fact that they were going to la and he enjoyed it even more when they finally landed and he had a little bit of free-time to himself.

( he knew he had to enjoy that free time, since they'd be focus on recording the music video. )

they were up early, which wasn't something that was too hard for him. he was thrown off by the jet-lag, it took him a little while to wake up and get his brain going. even as he changed into their first of outfits, seonghwa was quiet, moving along pretty sleepily. ( and at some point he got a coffee and it helped a bit. )

but for the most part, seonghwa allowed himself to be pulled in whichever direction he was told to go. only really waking up once they had to start filming the dance. ( he couldn't mess up filming. ) but it worked, getting his brain moving finally. ( and he was sure he just hated jet-lag. he wondered if he was horrible when he was a kid and he had to ask his mom how she handled. ) once those scenes were finished, he went off to the side to wait until they told them to get back in front of the camera.

and he did.

only it wasn't for the music video, he was sent to change again, this time moving to a different section. and any questions he had were answered when they told him that they needed to take the concept photos. it was something at least, being allowed to keep moving but that's what really kept him going. ( given any real free time, he was sure he would just go back to sleep. ) it didn't take too long for the photos to be taken and then he was sent back to filming, arriving just in time to change his clothes again.

when he first heard the b-side, he thought of beyonce. ( you couldn't really blame him. ) and even though he knew there was no way that it'd be the same, he couldn't help but expect that. ( and too no one's shock, no, crazy in love didn't play. ) that being said, it wasn't a bad track at all. smooth and a little sexy, it wasn't a hard track to really enjoy. it was easy to digest. ( and maybe groove a little too. )

the they got the dance and it didn't seem like it was something that would be too hard to learn. ( he did pride himself on his dancing skills. ) even if that wasn't clearly shown. which was he was a little bit more focused on making sure he got it down correctly.

leaving little to no room for himself at least.

because he did want to be knowledge for his dancing more than his rapping. ( still, trying to wrap his head around the fact that he was in the rap unit. ) seonghwa liked it enough, his favorite part being the chorus but it wasn't saying much. convex always had pretty good choreo's.

( and how could they not have interesting ones with this many members and chances to really explore formations. )

and it was interesting enough that he didn't mind staying at the company a little longer than needed to get it down. ( something he would've done anyway but now his time was spent practicing and not just walking through the halls because didn't have anything to do or he couldn't sleep. ) and being alone gave him enough time to really focus on the foot-work. another thing he found super interesting in the choreography. that was also nice as well. while it wasn't that hard to focus while everyone was alone, working alone just helped in a different way. he was able to focus solely on whatever point in the dance he wanted too without having to move on or make sure he was shoving himself in everyone's way.