If something happens to this literal angel it’ll be the worst day in Youtube history

…yea

Legit dated a guy in 7th grade who looked like O’Hare from The Lorax. Also had that hoodie. It was a crisp October day of 2013. I had just become a furry, and I wore a black fox tail every single day to school so I could be a fox. I went to a charter school at the time, so we frequently had families come to tour the school to see if it was a good fit for them. And I’m in the hallway, taking a break from my math problems. And there walks by a family, and a kid my age who’s wearing a fox tail. I immediately decided that we were destined to be together since he was the only other male fox in my age at the school. (The other furries pretended to be wolves and were too old for me to date).  So a month goes by, and he enrolls in the school. He’s in the 7th grade class though. And I was in 5th grade back in 7th grade, because my school put kids in classes based on ability, not age. And it took them the second semester that year for them to put me in the 8th grade class, because I wasn’t dumb as a doornail. I just flunked the entrance exams.  Anyways, I had a best friend (let’s call her Ali) And she was super into My Little Pony. And so was he. So suddenly, they become really good friends. And I keep trying to make a pass at the guy, but he just ignores me, he only wants to talk to Ali. Eventually, we become friends. And I ask him if he wants to date me and he accepts. About a month later, he confesses that he’s only dating me because he can’t get Ali, and he’ll dump me the moment that Ali asks him out. I was a dumbass back then so I thought it was fine and perfectly normal. The three of us had a Minecraft house together and we beat the Ender Dragon and Wither. Everything was perfect... Until Valentine’s Day.  I went hardcore for Valentine’s Day. I bought him a cool sketchbook and a box of chocolates. Then I made him a custom-painted figure of his My Little Pony oc, and a hat with fox ears. I give it to him, and he’s like “wow cool, thanks.” He didn’t get me anything though. (Actually, to this day I’ve never recieved a gift from a significant other despite being in multiple serious relationships). So it’s after lunch, and I’m doing math. When I hear screaming coming from the 7th grade classroom, which is next door. For some odd reason my boyfriend was running around the room, screaming like a banshee. After school, he refuses to tell me what happened and says he just had a panic attack from eating too much sugar. I confide in my other friends from that class and ask what happen. It turns out that the teacher thought the fox hat I made was stupid and made my boyfriend rip it off. So in a fit of rage, he started screaming, and then took a large gulp-cup of Coke from Jimmy John’s off of the teacher’s deck, and threw it at him, just narrowly missing and splattering all over the whiteboard.  We broke up like a month later. I didn’t keep much contact with him after that. Although, a year later he eventually realized how good I actually was and begged to have me back. But by then I had moved on. Now its 2 years later. I am a freshman in high school. I get a file transfer on Skype. Its from my now-ex, who I hadn’t spoken to in over a year. I click on the file, its a Word file. I read it. Its a furry fanfiction he wrote about himself turning into a shark and me taking him back because he is now a sexy shark furry. I blocked him. We haven’t spoken since. I have no idea where he is now in life.  Moral of the story: Don’t date someone just because your fursona is the same species.

Stories that grab you by the throat

MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck.  Not bad luck.  I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!