I want to share something that has been on my mind for a while. It's getting heavy on me and I just wanted a space to just let it out. So I recently met a guy online and apparently we both like each other. We talk to each other a lot but I already have a boyfriend and I told this guy about my boyfriend on Day 1. But we are still good friends and we love talking to each other.
The more I talk to him the more I feel like I'm really attracted to this guy and just love his presence, his attention, his voice, his giggles, his humour, his intelligence and his overthinking too.
I am not really happy in my relationship but I just can't bring myself to break my boyfriend's heart just because someone else interests me. Because I don't know whether these feelings are temporary or permanent and idk much about this new guy either. Yet, I just love talking to him, the way he loves my voice, my singing, my voice acting, and the way he treats me like a baby and finds me adorable.
Though there are some things that I don't like when it comes to him. Of course no one is perfect and that's what makes us human. But still I don't want him to just disappear without telling me anything for the whole day, I want him to feel safe with me and want him to talk to me about the things he's right now hesitant about. I really find him interesting maybe because I don't know much about him yet. Whatever it is, I just feel like I love him and I also feel like he loves me too but we both are unsure about turning it into a relationship. Because we don't know much about each other and we don't know whether we will be compatible with each other in the long term or not. Also it may be a temporary thing and there is a chance that these magical feelings might vanish after a while.
But as things are right now, I really want to talk to him all the time and I think I will be really jealous if he talks to other girls.
We talked for many hours yesterday but at midnight, he said I should give time to my boyfriend and that he is not my boyfriend. I really despised this reality. But yes, it's true and I replied that, yes I will now just talk to him... And hence I did not text or call this guy today but I checked his DM like 10 times. He has a little ego and doesn't really want to text first. Still he texted asking if I ghosted him. I replied with "wdyt? (what do you think)". He still hasn't read my reply.
I have kind of made up my mind that I will not talk to this guy too much again because no matter what I feel about him I don't know whether he can live up to all my day dreams. And in no world I want to pressurize someone for my selfish desires.
I will pay more attention to my boyfriend and try to make things good and even if they don't turn out to be good... I still don't want him to feel like he was cheated. He was not. Just talking friendly and singing with a friend can't be cheating.
