sex sounds so awesome I wish it was real

the sewing machine is like if a horse and an inkjet printer had a child

the problem with a lot of tall woman artists is that they almost exclusively draw tall women with very large breasts

You can lie when you name things

can they exempt you from your finals if you're having amanic episode that seems like it should be a thing that they do or something i dont know

Nevermind im goated im a genius im literally the best at everything ever and I'm never going to die

can they exempt you from your finals if you're having amanic episode that seems like it should be a thing that they do or something i dont know

Nevermind im goated im a genius im literally the best at everything ever and I'm never going to die

does getting cursed by a witch show up in drug tests

I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

Found a local place by my hotel open till 1 AM getting some plate lunch

Restaurants earn my loyalty based on how late they're open. My favorite burger in Brooklyn is the one I could get from my bodega at 3 am. The 3 am-ness was its best quality. If you feed me past midnight I will love you forever, the food being good is more of a perk