Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time

first there’s a bull just shittin on this guy

gremlin dude shooting arrows into a mermaids ass ok

someone fuckin boneless dancing to this hot violin song what

my favorite one a bunch of amputees beating the shit outta each other with crutches

Whether it’s to give everything a quick once-over, or it’s to make sure all the parts fit where they should, an editor is there to help you make your work shine like it ought to. A good editor helps you find even more pride in your work at the end of the project, not to mention helps you learn and grow as an author. It’s just a matter of finding someone you can work with.

And that’s the hard part, isn’t it?

After you’ve put all that time and effort into writing your book, when you’ve decided to self publish or you’re looking for that extra push to help you take your writing to the next level, somehow you have to find the perfect person to work with.

Don’t characterize a Black character as sassy or thuggish, especially when the character in question is can be described in literally ten thousand other ways..

Don’t describe Black characters as chocolate, coffee, or any sort of food item.

Don’t highlight the race of Black characters (ie, “the dark man” or “the brown woman”) if you don’t highlight the race of white characters.

Think very carefully about that antebellum slavery or Jim Crow AU fic as a backdrop for your romance.

If you’re not fluent with AAVE, don’t use it to try to look cool or edgy. You look corny as hell.

Don’t use Black characters as a prop for the non-Black characters you’re actually interested in.

Keep “unpopular opinions” about racism, Black Lives Matter, and other issues pertinent to Black folks out the mouths of Black characters. We know what the fuck you’re doing with that and need to stop.

Don’t assume a Black character likes or hates a certain food, music, or piece of pop culture.

You can make a Black character’s race pertinent without doing it like this.

Be extremely careful about insinuating that one or more of a Black character’s physical features are dirty, unclean, or ugly.

Be wary of making Black characters seem animalistic, uncivilized, or subhuman in comparison to white characters. Watch out for: comparing us to monkeys, gorillas, chimpanzees, apes, and other animals.

Words like Negroid, colored/colured, Negro, and the n-word do not belong in the mouths of contemporary characters you want to portray as sympathetic.

Not all Black people are African American.

Africa is not a country but the second-largest continent on earth with some 54 different countries with thousands of ethnic groups and 1,500 to 3,000 languages and dialects.

Resist the urge to make a Black character seem uneducated and ignorant compared to white characters.

Capitalizing Black shows that you recognize that the word unifying people of African descent, particularly the diaspora, should be described using a proper noun.

Please, say “Black people,” not “blacks.”

Give Black characters the same psychological and moral complexity as white men are given by default.

Make sure that you don’t write a Black character as happily subservient to a white character.

Do your own homework instead of expecting, asking, or demanding Black fans to do it.

Before approaching that Black person you admire so much for being so articulate about race issues (this is sarcasm) to beta read your work: 1) make sure it’s something they’ve expressed interest in doing, and 2) you offer something in return for their time and expertise.

Be prepared for fans to have issues with what you came up with and open to suggestions.

Having only one Black character in a story that takes place in a huge city, country, or galaxy looks weird. Really, really weird. Scary weird.

Don’t use a Black character’s death to motivate a white character.

Portray Black characters with complex and multifaceted identities. We are more than just Black. We are also women, LGBT, Jewish, disabled, neurodivergent, immigrants, etc.

There is a huge chasm between hypersexual and desexualized.

He’s straight, I’m not. And when I asked him why he used it, his answer was simple “I like it better than girlfriend. It’s more significant. It’s what you are to me: a partner.”

Now, I’m queer. And until him, I had never considered using “partner” for my s/o because I was concerned it was this mild but explicit way of outing yourself to people. But realizing that it could just be another term, ordinary if not a little romantic, to describe the person you love— well suddenly it didn’t feel like such a big fucking deal anymore.

yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

FUCKIN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

no BULLSHIT I KID YOU NOT! Look what I found while walking Home…..

OH MY GOD

OH MY F*CKIN GOD

THIS POST FUCKIN WORKS?!?!?! THIS IS PAST A COINCIDENCE NO WAY!??! NO FRIGGIN WAY!!! 

“What is wrong with bananas. I ate a banana today and it was Wrong. America why”

“Every time I put on my eye makeup it gets bigger. My whole face is eyeliner now.”

“Why does friendship feel so much like punching”

“When I wake up in the middle of the night I am either thinking ‘who am I? does my life have meaning?’ or “did I already eat all of the plums?’”

“Why are you so grumpy” they ask me. they do not realize this is just my Face.”

“I know i said i would give my left arm for a cup of coffee but i am more awake now and i would like my arm back please”

“Guy in front of me won’t move his car seat up. I think that might still be upset about all those times I tried to kill him.”

“Got lectured by a guy who had been complaining about how things were Back In The Day. I don’t understand why he got upset. I too lived through the Great Depression and was drafted for the War.”

“The economy in this century sucks. Who exactly though another Stock Market crash was a good idea?”

“Apparently, it was Rude™ of me to pitch in my two cents on a conversation I happened to overhear, despite agreeing with them. On an unrelated note, I am no longer allowed in the ceiling vents.”

“‘If you don’t behave we’ll send (mutual) after you.’ Jokes on them. I’m the one who trained them to be an assassin in the first place.”

“Tried to buy a Chicken Dinner candy bar at the supermarket today. Turns out they were discontinued 54 years ago. Super bummed.”

“Wait. People were on the moon?! We got into space? There is a way off of this rock?! Why am I only just hearing about this?!”

“'Have you been living under a rock the past 50 years?’ No I was cryogenically frozen for 70. I don’t appreciate your tone young man.”

“was having a hard time finding noodles in the grocery store & asked a clerk for help. she looked at me like a crazy person. lady, it’s not my fault you don’t speak russian”

“what kind of idiot thinks dancers are sissies? literally every ballerina i have ever met could kill an adult man with just her legs”

“today i discovered Conditioner. the future is a miracle and my hair like a cloud now”

“apparently just jumping on to a moving bus when you are running late is not a thing people do anymore. please stop yelling at me.”

“went to a club last night to see what the hip kids were into. apparently the latest thing is just having sex standing up with your clothes on in a room full of people.”

“on the one hand, people dressed much nicer in the 40s. on the other hand, yoga pants.”

“i am working on this whole Good Guy thing but anyone who cuts me in line at starbucks deserves to have their kneecaps shot out okay”

“why did they have to make escalators so terrifying to get on and off of? from now on I’m just jumping off the mall balconies. none of this awful moving teeth staircase”

“i don’t care if it’s a ‘priceless historical artifact,’ punk, i didn’t wanna do the dishes and it makes a pretty good spaghetti bowl”

“hoodie pockets are so great. i can fit like three sandwiches and a grenade in there and my hands are still warm”

“i really though we would have flying cars by now. the future is such a letdown.”

“changed sam’s ringtone to jesus take the wheel.”

“do you know that feeling when you go to lean on your short friend’s conveniently arm-rest-height shoulder but you forget they had a huge growth spurt and you just awkwardly lean your elbow into the middle of their bicep”

We aggressively believe that patients shouldn’t have to do a bunch of emotional labor to get their needs met by their healthcare providers, but the reality we live in means this is an important skill to have as a spoonie.

Luckily, we have some new resources for you!

💊 This super long thread on code words to use with doctors [CW exaggerated ableism/use of slurs], kicked off by the Cliff’s Notes on “How To Negotiate Your Disability Without Curling Into A Ball And Weeping More Than Once Or Twice A Week *Or* Murdering The Entire Universe (More Than Once Or Twice A Week).”

Covered topics:

Getting pain meds without being labeled as a drug-seeker.

Getting mobility devices despite enormous stigma.

Getting a “medibuddy” or advocate in with you when your doctor likes enforced isolation tactics.

Taking notes and being organized without ruffling any feathers.

Introducing “googled” information with a little fibbing.

Tactical crying.

…and basically being manipulative as hell, because sometimes that’s really, frustratingly necessary in order to get past ableist gatekeeping.

💊 This response to a request for help talking to a surgeon and getting him “to take me and my mysterious health issues seriously while still coming off as a ‘good patient.’”

I’m not someone who believes in ghosts, but I was sitting in my room, alone and in the dark, and I heard the strings of my violin being softly plucked. 

My violin is hanging on the wall several feet away. 

So I gathered my courage, grabbed my phone, and used the camera light to investigate. 

And found this.

Male spiders pluck the webs of female spiders in a pattern to determine if the female is interested.