i am the whole circus.

The Storytelling Witch "Story" (@cloverses) vs. Eve Harrison (@thetechnicolorphase)

Story info:

Description: A witch who acts at the whims of fate as the 'darker' side. She takes great pride in her work- perhaps a little too much, considering what it involves...

Crimes: Murder, stealing, arson, 'the ends justify the means' type things, corruption of innocents, cursing children (literally), general storybook witch nonsense that's too numerous to list... And in her free time, giving power to people who shouldn't have power, making deals that are horribly skewed in her favour, having a corpse in her basement, almost definitely poisoning people for fun and not profit, and ignoring the laws of nature.

Other notes from the submitter: she's 7'8" if that counts for anything also. and single. but i really don't think you want to get involved with her romantically.

Eve Harrison info:

Description: Meet Eve! The local lesbian science teacher in a small town who has a passion for biology AND a passion for being the center of attention for everything. She's friendly, but also really really eccentric and self-serving. She has not a care in the world for anything but whatever crazy schemes she decides that she wants to do (and they can get REALLY crazy). She's wacky, a little unhinged, and loves to make dad jokes. I think her clashing socks and patterned button-ups sends a pretty good representation of who she is. Also, she has a bit of a pathetic streak because when she doesn't get what she wants she makes like the sad SpongeBob face and it never gets her anywhere. She is a certified #girlboss and is making the most of the fact that she is living through the microbe apocalypse (much to the dismay of the protagonist of this story!) Oh and how could I forget! She's evil. She is so evil, she loves being villainous and isn't afraid to show it!!

Crimes:

Attempted to get one of her students (the protagonist) killed by microbe aliens. After getting turned into one of said microbe aliens she has killed like, at LEAST 50 people. Probably more. Including her own students and friends. Has been purposely spreading alien microbes to people in order to grow the hivemind that's formed from the microbe apocalypse. Has unethically experimented on people, animals, and herself for her own studies and goals. Currently is hunting down the protagonist to try and experiment on her.

Other notes from the submitter: #EVESWEEP she is so silly and so so evil it's like all the evilness of her town got wrapped into one very eccentric lady, I hope everyone enjoys her >:D

pt 1

pt 2

The Storytelling Witch "Story" (@cloverses) vs. Eve Harrison (@thetechnicolorphase)

Story info:

Description: A witch who acts at the whims of fate as the 'darker' side. She takes great pride in her work- perhaps a little too much, considering what it involves...

Crimes: Murder, stealing, arson, 'the ends justify the means' type things, corruption of innocents, cursing children (literally), general storybook witch nonsense that's too numerous to list... And in her free time, giving power to people who shouldn't have power, making deals that are horribly skewed in her favour, having a corpse in her basement, almost definitely poisoning people for fun and not profit, and ignoring the laws of nature.

Other notes from the submitter: she's 7'8" if that counts for anything also. and single. but i really don't think you want to get involved with her romantically.

Eve Harrison info:

Description: Meet Eve! The local lesbian science teacher in a small town who has a passion for biology AND a passion for being the center of attention for everything. She's friendly, but also really really eccentric and self-serving. She has not a care in the world for anything but whatever crazy schemes she decides that she wants to do (and they can get REALLY crazy). She's wacky, a little unhinged, and loves to make dad jokes. I think her clashing socks and patterned button-ups sends a pretty good representation of who she is. Also, she has a bit of a pathetic streak because when she doesn't get what she wants she makes like the sad SpongeBob face and it never gets her anywhere. She is a certified #girlboss and is making the most of the fact that she is living through the microbe apocalypse (much to the dismay of the protagonist of this story!) Oh and how could I forget! She's evil. She is so evil, she loves being villainous and isn't afraid to show it!!

Crimes:

Attempted to get one of her students (the protagonist) killed by microbe aliens. After getting turned into one of said microbe aliens she has killed like, at LEAST 50 people. Probably more. Including her own students and friends. Has been purposely spreading alien microbes to people in order to grow the hivemind that's formed from the microbe apocalypse. Has unethically experimented on people, animals, and herself for her own studies and goals. Currently is hunting down the protagonist to try and experiment on her.

Other notes from the submitter: #EVESWEEP she is so silly and so so evil it's like all the evilness of her town got wrapped into one very eccentric lady, I hope everyone enjoys her >:D

pt 1

pt 2

The Storytelling Witch "Story" (@cloverses) vs. Eve Harrison (@thetechnicolorphase)

Story info:

Description: A witch who acts at the whims of fate as the 'darker' side. She takes great pride in her work- perhaps a little too much, considering what it involves...

Crimes: Murder, stealing, arson, 'the ends justify the means' type things, corruption of innocents, cursing children (literally), general storybook witch nonsense that's too numerous to list... And in her free time, giving power to people who shouldn't have power, making deals that are horribly skewed in her favour, having a corpse in her basement, almost definitely poisoning people for fun and not profit, and ignoring the laws of nature.

Other notes from the submitter: she's 7'8" if that counts for anything also. and single. but i really don't think you want to get involved with her romantically.

Eve Harrison info:

Description: Meet Eve! The local lesbian science teacher in a small town who has a passion for biology AND a passion for being the center of attention for everything. She's friendly, but also really really eccentric and self-serving. She has not a care in the world for anything but whatever crazy schemes she decides that she wants to do (and they can get REALLY crazy). She's wacky, a little unhinged, and loves to make dad jokes. I think her clashing socks and patterned button-ups sends a pretty good representation of who she is. Also, she has a bit of a pathetic streak because when she doesn't get what she wants she makes like the sad SpongeBob face and it never gets her anywhere. She is a certified #girlboss and is making the most of the fact that she is living through the microbe apocalypse (much to the dismay of the protagonist of this story!) Oh and how could I forget! She's evil. She is so evil, she loves being villainous and isn't afraid to show it!!

Crimes:

Attempted to get one of her students (the protagonist) killed by microbe aliens. After getting turned into one of said microbe aliens she has killed like, at LEAST 50 people. Probably more. Including her own students and friends. Has been purposely spreading alien microbes to people in order to grow the hivemind that's formed from the microbe apocalypse. Has unethically experimented on people, animals, and herself for her own studies and goals. Currently is hunting down the protagonist to try and experiment on her.

Other notes from the submitter: #EVESWEEP she is so silly and so so evil it's like all the evilness of her town got wrapped into one very eccentric lady, I hope everyone enjoys her >:D

pt 1

pt 2

The Storytelling Witch "Story" (@cloverses) vs. Eve Harrison (@thetechnicolorphase)

Story info:

Description: A witch who acts at the whims of fate as the 'darker' side. She takes great pride in her work- perhaps a little too much, considering what it involves...

Crimes: Murder, stealing, arson, 'the ends justify the means' type things, corruption of innocents, cursing children (literally), general storybook witch nonsense that's too numerous to list... And in her free time, giving power to people who shouldn't have power, making deals that are horribly skewed in her favour, having a corpse in her basement, almost definitely poisoning people for fun and not profit, and ignoring the laws of nature.

Other notes from the submitter: she's 7'8" if that counts for anything also. and single. but i really don't think you want to get involved with her romantically.

Eve Harrison info:

Description: Meet Eve! The local lesbian science teacher in a small town who has a passion for biology AND a passion for being the center of attention for everything. She's friendly, but also really really eccentric and self-serving. She has not a care in the world for anything but whatever crazy schemes she decides that she wants to do (and they can get REALLY crazy). She's wacky, a little unhinged, and loves to make dad jokes. I think her clashing socks and patterned button-ups sends a pretty good representation of who she is. Also, she has a bit of a pathetic streak because when she doesn't get what she wants she makes like the sad SpongeBob face and it never gets her anywhere. She is a certified #girlboss and is making the most of the fact that she is living through the microbe apocalypse (much to the dismay of the protagonist of this story!) Oh and how could I forget! She's evil. She is so evil, she loves being villainous and isn't afraid to show it!!

Crimes:

Attempted to get one of her students (the protagonist) killed by microbe aliens. After getting turned into one of said microbe aliens she has killed like, at LEAST 50 people. Probably more. Including her own students and friends. Has been purposely spreading alien microbes to people in order to grow the hivemind that's formed from the microbe apocalypse. Has unethically experimented on people, animals, and herself for her own studies and goals. Currently is hunting down the protagonist to try and experiment on her.

Other notes from the submitter: #EVESWEEP she is so silly and so so evil it's like all the evilness of her town got wrapped into one very eccentric lady, I hope everyone enjoys her >:D

pt 1

pt 2

But something they do at the start of every episode is something called Dad Facts. Each player lists off a dad fact about their character, something about their interests or history or personality, that the other characters would have known but “off camera” rather than having all these details RP’d out. After all, your characters in games spend a LOT of downtime together in between scenes, this sort of stuff WOULD have come up.

So, now, just about EVERY RP game I’m in has incorporated Dad Facts, including ones where I and my roommate are the only ones who’ve heard the damn podcast. Some players don’t even know why we CALL them “dad facts”, but they still run with it.

Anyway I recommend it to every RP group. NOT right away, if your characters have JUST met, because some of this shit just flat out won’t be known until after you’ve already had that downtime together.

Some of mine are big and revealing, some are as simple as “Zenrae doesn’t like eating fish” or “Theria only drinks sweet wine and otherwise finds alcohol offputting” - little moments and traits and stuff you want to get out there but haven’t been able to. It helps you flesh your own character out, helps you get to know the other characters better, and helps RP along SO. MUCH. I have used others’ dad facts to help RP in game and I can’t stress enough how fun that is

And I swear in my groups I tried, like, two whole times to coin a term OTHER than “dad facts” but nope. Dad Facts is sticking.

Isn’t that comfortable! What’s that? You like my wallpaper? I’m so glad!

I went to great lengths to acquire it. You see, they haven’t made this color in centuries. But don’t worry, i made sure this is genuine.

Now, would you like a cup of tea? You can pick a glass from my personal collection!

believe it or not we drink on the job, it's rude to decline a drink offered to you by a customer

yes. I've gotten drunk on the job. yes it was cause I was bought a number of jagerbombs. no I didn't go home or fuck up.

'kiss the bartender' is a popular dare at small bars and private functions. whether it's on the cheek or on the lips is totally up to you

I have been offered people's number in a variety of ways. sometimes I've been handed a note, other times I've just been handed someone's phone on the 'add a new contact' page. girls are more direct, guys try the subtler approach of flirting until declined

Your average bartender doesn't always know cocktails. Especially if they're not on the menu.

Y'all cocktails are potent. If your character is downing ten long Island iced teas they're going to hospital

we live for tips. You could be the biggest cunt in the world but if tip me a fiver I'll put on a fake af smile and pretend you're a sound guy

speaking of. Young people tend to buy you drinks, older people tend to tip you.

There's a number of bar calls we use. 86 means we're out of stock. 68 means we're back in stock. More relevant for fic writers however: 700 means a hot customer, usually aimed at women but can be used for guys too. eg. 'lady in red. 700'

If someone asks what 700 means when asked. We lie through our teeth. We usually say it means you need serving or you look drunk.

Every cellar in a bar looks like a serial killers basement don't @ me (I have asked someone to come with me on 2 occasions when I needed to change a barrel when the electricity wasn't working down there)

(side note. If its a cellar like, hatch in the floor cellar, there is some solid content there for injuries and whatnot. I have seen people not realise the hatch is open and just,, step into a hole)

I dress for tips. My managers actively encourages this. A lot of managers at bars are kinda sleazy.

bartenders fight over who's serving the hot customer through extreme staring and power walking

Nobody is more attractive than the person who brings their empty glasses back to the bar (ily)

in the UK it is ILLEGAL to pour someone a triple. You can pour someone a double and a shot on the side and if the customer pours the shot into their double then that's on them, but you as a bartender cannot serve a triple in one glass.

Its also illegal to have a happy hour but if y'all wanna forget that for a 'I'll make it a happy hour *wink wink nudge nudge*' pun, go feral

my absolute favourite term in bartending is lizard. If someone orders a round and then at the end is like 'oh and two guinness' absolute lizard behaviour

someone clicks their fingers to get your attention? Lizard. Also not getting served.

I love it.

Otherwise, the Guinness doesn't achieve the distinctive head that it's known for.

So with Guinness having the wait time built in, most bartenders will pour the Guinness first, and do the rest of the orders during the wait, then finish the Guinness. Ordering a Guinness last means they have to drop the drink they're currently making (because they will have started making your order as you speak, especially for a round order) to make the Guinness, or otherwise they will have to wait the minute and half alongside you. Which would really piss them off.

And as an extra note: you can't drink the Guinness immediately after the second pour. You need to wait for the second pour to settle. You'll known it has done this when the brown frothy liquid beneath the head has turned a uniform black.

you were young.

you learned better.

you grew.