❛ I'm sorry for your loss, your...your losses, rather. ❜

❛ Nobody gets away with anything. Not really. ❜

❛ Don't lecture me about family values. You're just as shit in that department as I am. ❜

❛ That day was the last day we were all in the same place. Alive. ❜

❛ They will love you because I love you, and the only thing stronger than love is how scared they are of getting cut out of the will. ❜

❛ And most people go their whole, wasted, stupid lives without one minute of true resolution. Not me though. ❜

❛ You know what a resolution is? It's a deal you make with the future. ❜

❛ The people in charge of making us healthy make us sick. We cheat the dying. We fleece the poor. Promote the racist. Let the demons run amok. This world needs changing. ❜

❛ You're supposed to be shadowing me. Shadows don't fucking talk. ❜

❛ This is beneath you. And you're going to kill it. But you're better than all of this. And the minute you figure that out, you're going to be unstoppable. ❜

❛ There's no such thing as a step back. You go forward. If you hit a brick wall, you don't go back, you go through. ❜

❛ Nearly realized is the sweetest. It's better, I promise, in the moment just before than in the moment after. ❜

❛ You are consequence. And tonight, you are consequential. ❜

❛ You are a pretty, pretty little thing. ❜

❛ You wonder why people hate us. This is why. ❜

❛ Everybody knows that edible arrangements are what you send to people you hate. ❜

❛ If you start thinking this is reality, you'll just slip into the abyss. ❜

❛ We can talk about it after because I've had a shit day and I really just wanna starfish and forget the world. ❜

❛ Don't talk to me until I've come at least twice. ❜

❛ I love how deliciously, pointlessly mean you lot can be. ❜

❛ You still didn't need to come here though. It could have happened quiet. Peaceful. In bed. But I guess it's got to happen like this. ❜

❛ It's amazing how far you can get on denial. You know why so many people use denial to get by? Because it really fucking works. ❜

❛ You can't enhance this image? You see it all the time on TV. They hit a button, it enhances it. ❜

❛ I don't even own anything funeral black. ❜

❛ Satin is silk for poor people, no one should wear it to a funeral, unless they died in it. ❜

❛ Nobody knows they're the fall guy until they're falling.❜

❛ Women are the natural leaders of the species. Ancient Egypt had it right. ❜

❛ Okay, just because the door's open doesn't necessarily guarantee you a seat at the table. ❜

❛ You're not who I thought you were. ❜

❛ I really didn't want to think it, but...you're all fucking monsters. ❜

❛ Watching you shit on your principles would have been worth every fucking penny. ❜

❛ The mind of guilt is full of scorpions. And I wouldn't wish their sting on anyone. ❜

❛ Don't have to be smart to be dangerous. I'm not scared of rattlesnakes 'cause they're so smart. ❜

❛ You're so out of touch with your human side...you can't even listen to anything outside your own head. ❜

❛ I haven't seen you sleep in like...I mean, it's been a fucking long time. Like, horror movie long. ❜

❛ Life is insane. It is madness. The sooner you understand that, the better off you'll be. ❜

❛ The world might not be safe but listen to me, and listen carefully. I won't let anything happen to you. ❜

❛ All these terrible things and I thought, that's when people come together. But we've never been further apart. ❜

❛ Tell me it's worth it. Tell me you know the risk and I'll be there with you. I'll back you up. Just tell me. ❜

❛ Shut your mouth, get your shit together. The fuck is wrong with you? ❜

❛ Men, when they think they're immortal, all they want to do is fuck. When they figure out they're going to die, all they want to do is fuck. ❜

❛ It just makes you think, you know, life is so fucking short. ❜

❛ You don't have to be a tyrant, but if you don't want to be consistently cruel, then you have to be sufficiently brutal at least once to establish authority. ❜

❛ I thought it was an act. I figured you just played the housewife so you could keep a roof over your head. Spread your legs or suck his dick twice a week and you're set. You never have to work a day in your life. And I thought, "Good for her, she found her angle," but...this is really you. Isn't it? ❜

❛ Words got us into this, words can get us out. ❜

❛ You're a collection of impeccable, elaborate masks in orbit of a stunted heart. ❜

❛ There are certain things one shouldn't have to face in life. Time enough for self-reflection after. ❜

❛ I don't normally like to get my hands this dirty, but honey, you earned it. ❜

❛ I see you now. I look at you and I see... You. The poverty of you. ❜

❛ The real world is Darwinian. Survival, chaos, power. Leverage. ❜

❛ You feel it. In the air. We're sitting outside of time and space. ❜

❛ This is the moment luck meets opportunity. ❜

❛ In the ancient world, we'd seal this with blood, or spit. And then later, papyrus. But, a deal's a deal all over the world. ❜

❛ We're a... virus, I think. People, I mean. ❜

❛ But everyone loves something. And in that love there's collateral. ❜

❛ I say this with love. Let it go. Let it all go. ❜

❛ So I say, we stand tall and proud. Bill's come due. Let's not hide here in the basement like we've got something to be ashamed of. No. Not us. You and me against the world. ❜

❛ It may not have been perfect, but you can't say we didn't change the world. How many people can say that at the end? ❜

❛ I knew I would climb to the top of the tower on a pile of corpses. ❜

suffering and religion

though she chastises, it is not punishing. it never is, with celeste - sweet, devoted celeste, whose only crime has ever been to love so deeply that it clouds her judgment to this most dangerous degree. she fails to consider the countermoves, and so her goddess must. her promise to perris, so faraway now, would demand it if her own sense of doctrine did not. [ deals can be voided. promises can be broken. it is all in the matter of trust as a resource, and she needs his, still. ]

she knew what the response would be before she ever spoke her demand, so she does not flinch or balk under vitorîya’s gaze — she has felt it before, been granted that honor, on a few occasions such as this, and she looks back at her with all of the stubborn will that had gotten them both here to begin with. all these years, she had said… and yet it seems she forgets that this has always been who celeste is.

“fates can be changed,” she urged, brow furrowing now as she wondered at what was happening in the world around her physical form… the place she could no longer see or feel, mentally closed off and protected here as she was. “we, of all people, know that to be true.”

she feels a chill run down her spine, imagining the worst for a moment — an unfathomably long life, spent without vic’s touch or voice in her ear — and celeste reaches up then, grasping her hand before it can pull away from her cheek entirely; a desperate bid for one more moment of closeness. “you think i would regret to die for this?” she looks up at vic, her goddess, with a small frown.

instinct had pulled her closer when victoria fell — shouldn’t it always, with her call to protect being even stronger in the presence of the elven woman she had kept so close to her side? healing energy danced at her fingertips, ready and waiting to assess damage, to fix whatever had just overcome victoria before the steel watch had a chance to take advantage and strike…

but nothing of the sort happened. the man-made abominations stood rigid and waiting as victoria regained her footing, and celeste watched her with a… quiet unease; a feeling she had never thought to associate with the elven woman before her. hair stood up on the back of celeste’s neck, a latent instinct (or maybe selûne’s hand at work in her) telling her not to move or speak. not just yet.

time seemed slower, watching the languid and unfamiliar movements, the grace and confidence of another person, fill out the form of the woman she loved. when victoria spoke, it was the voice of a stranger that greeted celeste’s ears. and when their eyes met, when celeste found herself face to face with this unfamiliar woman in a body that she was all too familiar with… horror and comprehension mingled for a moment and left celeste standing in open-mouthed shock, the radiant energy slipping away — wasted and unimportant.

once again, she was on the gravelly shore of a stream, cold, pale hands clenched firmly in her’s, and celeste was useless.

she doesn’t know what the right choice is suddenly. following victoria to each inevitable conclusion had been the way for so many months now, but something deep in celeste’s heart would not allow her to step even an inch closer. not yet. not until…

“has the plan changed, victoria?” her voice is cool and clipped — a tone most often reserved for their enemies. she hasn’t spoken this way since she renounced ketheric thorm and took down his death god. would history viciously repeat itself like that so soon? mere moments ago, she would have followed without question.

“What’d they say, [name]?”

“That I’m lucky to have such a good helper like you.”

“You know, given the state of everything, I’d prefer not to if that’s alright.”

“It’s what you’re famous for.”

“He still took my money.”

“That’s grown-up stuff.”

“Is it your thumb, or mine?”

“My reproductive organs are intact, my hygiene well-maintained.”

“Feels a little tight.”

“On my wedding night, that dress got off almost as fast as [name] did.”

“Oh gosh. After ten years of cousin stuff, I’m definitely excited for the real thing.”

“I’m just excited for us to raise our kids together.”

“From that moment on, [location] was a distant memory for me.”

“Must be nerve-wracking, your [title] could be anyone.”

“It’s gunna take some time to fix.”

“[Name], I love you.”

“We all know that, [name.]”

“Messing around with your cousin, it’s all well and good for kids, but it's not a sustainable long-term sexual practice, you know.”

“Okey dokey.”

“Just so you know, this was the best day of my life.”

“Sir, please don’t make me use force.”

“Oh, geez.”

“Oh. I think I know who you are.”

“Everyone knows who I am.”

“Do they know who they are?”

“They are the product of one of life’s tricky little choices.”

“I’m going to offer you a choice.”

“You are my world.”

“You look like your [family member.]”

“You should see it sometime.”

“Maybe you should do what you do best: run and hide.”

“How’s your nose?”

“Well, I can still smell, it’s just… Mostly blood.”

“Imagine getting to put on one of those every day.”

“Wonder why they’re here.”

“We’re brainstorming here - and there’s no bad ideas in a brainstorm.”

“I’m going with you.”

“What you’re doing is insane.”

“[name], I’m not letting anyone else get hurt on my behalf.”

“Young [gender], you come back here right now.”

“Well, that didn’t work.”

“You have ambitions, don’t you?”

“I wanted it to happen, is that wrong?”

“Are you weak?”

“I don’t want to be.”

“You have anything else to say, in your defense?”

“I wanna thank you, for your guidance and for giving me a home.”

“I had no place in the world, so.”

“Do you know who did it?”

“Well, I narrowed it down to one of those assholes.”

“They asked me if it was you.”

“You’re telling me the supreme badass we’re looking for is a freaking mutant?”

“How do we know he’s not feral?”

“Why, is this an Amish production of The Count of Monty Cristo, or just the weirdest circle jerk I’ve ever been invited to?”

“Does that count, should I shoot him?”

“Would you shut the fuck up.”

“A bounty came down, a huge one. Enough to be a last score for me, and whoever’s with me.”

“Well, what makes you think I’d give a goddamn about that?”

“It ain’t where they’s running from I figured you’d be interested in. It’s where they running to.”

“Now, what the fuck would you know about where I’m from?”

“Well, that don’t sound like gratitude, do it boys?”

“Well, I tell you what, boys, whenever somebody says, they’re doing last one job, that usually means their heart’s not in it. Probably never was.”

“But for me, well, I do this shit for the love of the game.”

“You right friend about one thing, this right here, was your last job.”

you forget, at times, just how strong she is: how steadfast, the bedrock of her devotion forged in temple and feathered out into every part of her. there is something kindred in that, for you, something whose particulars escape you but that sings in your soul, just south of the rot blackening your ribcage - the fierceness with which celeste swears her fealty is, in some fashion, familiar to you. it is also idiotic, but [ and you are beginning to realise this, with the slowness of someone who has to catch up very quickly to truths readily apparent to the rest of the world ] such is all love. the shadows choke her goddess' light, here. no moonlight bathes her in silver; no beams of clarity part your veil of violence. still, you take her hands in yours, making mirror of a moment that seems lifetimes old already.

" it's not about what is owed, " you bite, and you are choked, too; tears tighten your throat, but you refuse them, swallow them, not because you revile weakness but because you know they will soak into the cracks of celeste's already made-up mind and strengthen her resolve still further. " where you belong, what you deserve, what divine purpose you have found in me - all meaningless if i - "

celeste's hands pull free of her grasp, their purpose secured at the sight of those glistening eyes; one to cup victoria's cheek and the other to rest against her chest, above her heart, seeking its steady and familiar rhythm. her thumb traces over pale skin as her eyes seek to meet victoria's own, desperate for understanding to pass between them. whatever comes next, celeste has made her choice. good or bad or any of the myriad of outcomes in between, she had made that choice long ago. what was there to go back to now? what alternative was there?

none that would satisfy. none that would sit right with her soul.

"i refuse to proclaim myself as deserving of much at all," she states quietly, her voice almost a whisper but no less strong for its near-silence. "if you... what? fail? fall prey to those things that haunt you when you think i cannot see?"