Daniel Sellek

You, a politician, wielding power and doubt, Believing betrayal in every shadow, I stripped my life bare for you, Friends and passions erased, My every breath devoted, Yet still, you saw deceit in the simplest acts, I offered you transparency, My world laid open, But you found ghosts where none existed, Your paranoia, a relentless storm That shattered the love I gave completely, I broke, lost in the depths of your distrust, Even now, with all the pain, I’d choose to endure it again, Still desiring the life we could have had, For no one has ever wounded me so deeply, Or been loved so fiercely.

You, vibrant dreamer with a plan for every day, Sweet and goofy, the light of any room, Our bond began in books and words, Bodies entwined with ease, despite the years and height, You made me feel valued, though our faithfulness faltered, Cheating and suspicion marked our time, Yet amidst the chaos, I loved you wholly, Purely animalistic, but with a love that flowed deep, Now, you’re with someone else, and I remain apart, But I wish you well, remembering those moments, Grateful for the happiness we shared, Even as life's currents have carried us far from each other.

You, resolute and smiling, always with a plan, I mistook your drive for something sincere, I taught you, trained you, and opened doors, Paid for dinners, trips, and dreams, Naively, I thought Shanghai would bring us close, But you found another, left me to face the truth alone. Now, I keep no anger, just a coldness, A distance you taught me to carry, Yet, on quiet nights, I recall the time you sent me for onions, And I returned with garlic— A mistake I wish was the only one.

You, assertive and free, Taught me the risk of desire, the profit of lust, It began with words, an intellectual dance, Then, a fall into physical need, You liberated me, made me believe I could be a lover, A giver of pleasure, worthy at last, But in the end, we burned too brightly, Destroying each other in the flame, Now, I wear the shame like a scar, Debt and distance between us, Yet you're still there, a shadow in my mind, The one who ended my childhood, The one I dare not call when the drinks have loosened my resolve.

You, confident and persistent, Waited years for what I foolishly denied, And when we finally gave ourselves, Awkward and trembling, First love's clumsy steps, Anxiety and shame wrapped in youthful naivety, We thought forever was within our grasp, But time and distance showed us otherwise. Now, I look back with a quiet respect, Wishing I knew then what I know now, And sometimes, in the quiet of night, I wonder what you'd say if I asked, "What's up?"