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How the fuck can you leave out my main man banana peel

BOOSTING!

Like, every time this crosses my dash I’m both irritated that this is necessary and also completely unsurprised.

tbh spider-man is such a chill superhero you could ask him to escort you home bc you don’t feel safe and he’d be like ‘ok sure no sweat’ I’m sure he’d even help you with your groceries meanwhile the other avengers be like ‘the world isn’t in danger so you don’t need my help’

Thor would help with your groceries fight me

you are abso-fucking-lutely right

sweatpants that say “fool” on the ass

Play a gunslinger, who critically misunderstands their role as a gunslinger and just throws guns.

Coworkers too

Boys who are sex-repulsed/don’t enjoy sex/are too uncomfortable to have sex - you’re doing an amazing job at coping in a society that associates your maleness with having strong sexual desires. You are valid, you are loveable, you are not ‘weird’ for not fitting into the stereotype of men wanting sex all time.

… I really needed to hear that thank you

It’s gonna be the Duolingo bird too

Tooth fairies are a smaller and friendlier subspecies of the larger and much more hostile bone fairies.

Thank you for this bespoke nightmare

bro forget that how much money do i get for a femur under my pillow