mind your manners

jdkfksjgkdkhkdjdjdjgldkf we’ve peaked everyone can delete now

“what the fuck is wrong with me?” i ask, fully aware of the mood, personality, and anxiety disorders i have

🐐

Q eye except Jonathan has a gun

hot take: jake peralta is bi and john mulaney plays his ex boyfriend from high school in season six of brooklyn nine-nine

best response to a sexist boyfriend

i went to the gym today and there was a guy going to TOWN on the punching bags so i asked him “rough night?” and he said “my wife’s on a business trip and i miss her” and if that isnt the most steve rogers thing in the world idk what is

why everybody be tryna act like they didn’t have a twilight phase

You either had a twilight phase or you had an anti-twilight phase and in either case you invested emotion in twilight, your twilight phase

Damn.

Oh my god he really looks like That

That he responded to a 10-minute bit mocking him with “it means ‘barrel-maker,’ an honorable profession” makes me believe that Mullaney was 98 to 100% accurate.