I just want love like in books.

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I just want love like in books.

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because right now the only thing that makes me happy is reread rwrb
āEXPLORING YOUR SEXUALITY: HEALTHY, BUT DOES IT HAVE TO BE WITH THE PRINCE OF ENGLAND?ā
I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure that if my mom sat me down with this PowerPoint presentation, I would have hightailed it all the way to England to go see my very gay prince that I (on occasion) fuck in inappropriate places and never come back home.
Dear Thisbe, I wish there werenāt a wall. Love, Pyramus.
Casey McQuiston, Red, White and Royal Blue
Me: I want to be in a relationship because I think Iām finally ready to.Ā
Also me: I donāt want to have any kind of relationship except the one that Alex and Henry have because nothing will measure up.Ā

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I canāt believe that Alex just completely denies the fact that heās falling for Henry. Case in point: āAnd Alexās heart doesnāt spread itself out in his chest, and he doesnāt have to grip the edge of the settee to steady himself. Because thatās what he would do if he were here in the palace to fall in love with Henry, and not just continuing this thing where they fly across the world to touch each other and donāt talk about it. Thatās not why heās here. Itās not.ā (McQuiston 220)
He just does this all the time. This isnāt even the first time he does it. Heās completely ignoring these feelings. It makes me wonder if this is why it took him so long to a. figure out heās gay, and b. figure out he liked Henry that way.
This is the way Alex is. He ignores everything about himself for too long, until itās staring him in the face. He pretends like none of this is happening. He doesnāt think about going to law school until he realizes he wants to have some time before going into politics (and obviously he did leave it as a plan b because he applied to law school, butā¦). It happens throughout the book.
I donāt know if Iām reading into this, butā¦
ā(He also thought about prying up the staples with his fingers and taking the picture out and keeping it in his room, but he never did. His fingernails were too stubby; they werenāt made for it like Juneās, like a girlās.)ā -page 16
Heās saying that heās not a girl, so he canāt hang the poster up on his wall because of the standard for girls to do it. But not Alex.
Okay⦠so Iām rereading RWRB for the umpteenth time when I realized that neither Alex or Henry have spoken out about their friends-with-benefits relationship. They both just assume thatās how it is.