Lilac Skies @secrets-to-senioritis - Tumblr Blog

it’s exhausting having to play the middle-man between my parents again. it’s only been half the term and i’m already too tired to deal with any of it.

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My stages of grief ???

1. Cry. A lot. It's okay.

2. Angry.

3. I'm doing summer band for me.

#somehow this feels like the breakup back in gr 11 except that recovery took months #this is taking days #idk whether to say god bless or be sad

-came home around 10pm after a spontaneous queer boardgames night with friend-

-making lunch for tomorrow morning-

Mother: can you tell me where you're gonna be and what you're doing?

Me: *part genuine part bitter* why?

Mother: because I'm your mother and you're my daughter.

Me: no.

Mother: *offended, defensive and attacking* so I'm not your mother?

Me: I don't know, maybe you should answer that for yourself.

#lets all take a moment to remember new years 2016-2017 #wow this is not the conversation i wanted to have after coming back from a wholesome event no thank you #mother #could have i just said yes to her initial question?#maybe i could have #but thats making a promise i dont intend to keep and thats a bad habit to have #so no

secrets-to-senioritis

Tl;dr

If you like a guy and he finds out and doesn’t like you back, just wait two years

secrets-to-senioritis

The funny and kinda sad thing is that I told myself to not get my hopes up because I felt like the good times weren't gonna last and guess what bitches, I was fucking right.

#this has been an emotional rollercoaster #i would like to get off the ride now

Tl;dr

If you like a guy and he finds out and doesn't like you back, just wait two years

#yall #what even

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May 2, 2018

Realizations.

--

my house situation is like I'm living with 3 roommates two of which never talk, and only 1 I'm close with except there's a history of abuse and familial relationships

#summer 2018 #spring 2018 #if we're gonna go by uw standards #i literally did the one thing i told myself i would never do in uni #but at least i have a job good food and some good friends still around

I made a pretty interesting self-discovery just now about why I keep getting involved with societies and shit didn't know this was how my Monday was gonna go but okay sure why not :')

#psychoanalysing myself #amazing

Don't get a crush on someone in your ensemble and definitely don't get a crush on someone in your class

#words of wisdom

I love feeling like I don't belong

I love it when people show "support" only when it's convenient for them.

#i told you it was too good to be true

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Am I un-date-able? Unlovable?

Wow going home will really bring back those self-hatred and negative thoughts you've worked on getting out of your head wowie

#the fimiliar nose tingle of almost crying

I can’t wait to go home because I can just lounge and watch TED talks and chill in my sister’s room while she does homework and go for walks with my dog and food is always available and there’s a library 15 minutes away that has all the trash Rick Riordan books that I want to re-read and there’s an actual mall a bus ride away ugh so much to do

#i hate that everything closes down for christmas but its ok we'll power through #watch as soon as i go home i will regret it lmfao

How is it that as soon as aca is done for the term, it takes maybe a couple weeks and my mental health is immediately not awful???? Or maybe that it's bc TYWO is done. Or that I went home for once and it wasn't a disaster. Idk man. I do know that I want this term to be over; I want to go back to claaaaass

god who am I?

Hugs. ❤️

#i could hug you forever and not get tired #but we're just pals #tessa gets so disappointed every time tho lol #fuck #also this week has been awful except for pockets of time time to go cry now bye

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Mmmmm thought this was gonna be a relaxing, productive night? Bitch! You thought wrong! Nothing like late night dirty laundry airing! Because someone heard something they can't even remember! Wow! And then bring up drama from months ago! You want an explanation? Okay! Here it is!

#please kill me

I made it into work 4/5 days which is more than I can say for the past like...month and even on wednesday when I wasn’t at the office I was still working at home AND made it to ACE like WOW my standards for success are low af.

BUT my skin is smooth and clear af D: what a blessing tbh

I can’t wait for the chill times after Dec 3 - no more rehearsals, no more sectionals, no more gigs.

#coop #aca

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